I got cajoled into seeing a movie today that I didn’t really have any interest in seeing, and it turned out to be worthwhile. One line, often repeated, was: “Everything will be all right in the end, so if it’s not all right, it’s not the end.” There was also a speech near the end about success in life being measured by how you handle disappointment, and about the only failure being the failure to try. And then I got home and there, waiting in my e-mail in-box, was yet another chance for untold riches.
Despite all of my disappointments in sincerely answering similar e-mails, most of them from Africa, and my failure to obtain even one goddamn penny from any of these seemingly helpful correspondents, I had the movie’s lines ringing in my ears, and so I decided to try again. Full of renewed hope, and believing it must not be the end, I decided to really turn on the charm in answering the following e-mail from a helpful agent of the FBI:
From: “Ms. Tracy Sanson”
Date: June 30, 2012 9:47:29 AM PDT
Subject: THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER
I must let you in on the real facts about your delayed payment. As a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) on local and foreign debt attached to the World Bank office in Washington, DC, USA, I am very much aware of the ordeal you are passing through in order to actualize your long delayed payment.