Jul 052015



(Father Synn has once again donned his cassock, dusted off his manual of medieval penance, and prepared himself to receive your abominable confessions.)

Greetings once again my loyal cadre of sinners and sycophants. What a joy it is to be here once more among you all, after last week’s unplanned absence!

I see more than a few familiar faces out there bearing a look of contrition and shame… or maybe that’s just the hangover kicking in. I know mine is.

So come, join me in another bout of confession and prayer… it’s good for the soul, don’t you know?

“Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for us now and at the hour of our death… which we all hope is soon…”




  1. I once skipped out on the opportunity to see Opeth supported by Cynic, in favour of travelling to see what was supposed to be the last ever Carcass show. It wasn’t. And I still haven’t seen Cynic live. And so now I hate Carcass.
  2. …Made Me Do It by The Haunted is massively over-rated.
  3. Resurrection Through Carnage by Bloodbath is a really good album. But it’s not their best.
  4. I recently discovered that my copies of Vanitas by Anaal Nathrakh, Ritual by The Black Dahlia Murder, and The Dreamer’s Hideaway by Klone have gone missing. This pains me.
  5. I hate that band… what’s their name… it’s on the tip of my tongue… oh yeah, Manowar.


And now, as always, it’s your turn. Who will be first to offer up themselves to the judgement of the congregation? Step forth, and embrace your absolution!


  1. 365chaosriddendays says:

    I have sins to confess father but maybe not all of these are sins:

    1. I dislike Manowar and this feeling is impossible to erase for me!
    2. I think that “Nightmares Made Flesh” is the best album by Bloodbath.
    3. I lost my copy of “Whoracle” months ago.
    4. I never heard “Made Me Do It” even if I like The Haunted.
    5. Behemoth are one of my favourite bands and I see them live one time only.

  2. kingben says:

    i don’t like in flames or soilwork, yet i’ve seen in flames more than once.
    i love behemoth, and have never seen them.
    i really, really, like “revolver” by the haunted, but i think everything since is unlistenable.
    i have albums by cage (“hell destroyer”) and savage circus (“dreamland manor”) and i think both albums are excellent.
    sunn 0))) is awful and unlistenable.

    • Chronic_Headache says:

      Sir, your admitting that Sunn O))) is awful is borderline heresy…a sin most unforgivable. I doubt any amount of legalism can rectify those words you have just uttered.
      I shall pray for you, indeed

  3. SurgicalBrute says:

    Hold on…as always, I think I’ll need more alcohol before the comment section really kicks in

    1) The Haunted are terribly overrated. If I wanted to listen to At the Gates, Id listen to At the Gates, not their less impressive little brother
    2) Ghost is not nearly as bad as people are trying to say, but they should have stopped after one album
    3) The more an album/band gets hyped…the less likely I am to check them out
    4) I still cant believe Disturbed is relevant in 2015
    5) Manowar owns all your faces

  4. Sui says:

    Without any silly jokes, I’ve been actually pretty good in the past week, listening to new Wilderun, Amiensus, Kingcrow, Vettnet Viskar, BTBAM (this might cause some stir), Distant Sun in rotation. And that new Four Year Strong, O-M-G, so damn catchy 😉

  5. Leperkahn says:

    I still haven’t listened to much of any Bathory. I feel massive guilt for this. I’ll get around to it, I swear.

  6. Rise says:

    Oh, again I come, from the weeping and filthy southern land, to share my transgressions with my fellow corpse-painted brothers!

    1. There is a rosary near the reception where I work at night. I’ve turned the cross on it upside down, though I am a Christian. (Not your average catholic-child-pervertor or money-preacher-evangelist. I am actually against those people.)

    2. I still dislike black metal.

    3. I don’t know what is Manowar, and I have no desire to fathom them.

    4. I have found myself to be emotionally numb. Thus I cannot enjoy to the fullest metal music.

    5. I am quite fond (addicted) of hyperspeed thrash metal. But my stash is drying up, so I gotta find more.

  7. slamtastic says:

    1. I found a copy of Dio’s Holy Diver at a garage sale many years ago on LP for cheap. Have yet to listen to it. Also, I’m not sure if the sin is owning this record or not listening to it.
    2. I’m really digging that song Me!Me!Me! by Teddyloid ft Daoko. Can’t get it out of my head.
    3. To this day I don’t get the hate on Dissection’s Reinkaos album. Their best work it is probably not, but I enjoy it a lot.
    4. I do not drink alcohol.
    5. I had introduced Manowar to my older brother some time ago, purely for a laugh. Unfortunately, he liked it, and currently holds them in high regard. I feel guilty for adding to the Manowar collective, and would like to publicly apologize for this sin most evil.

  8. Dan the Desecrator says:

    1.I can’t stand the new wave of thrash.No matter how “old” sounding they try to be. Revocation & Arsis excluded.
    2. I still listen to some Deathcore even though it irritates me yet still I think that Whitechapel,Carnifex & JFAC OWN! and should now be excluded from the “Deathcore” tag.
    3. I have found Black Metal to be the most interesting and creative gerne in the last two years. Especially from one man projects. Leviathan,Panopticon,Jute Gyte Ect.
    4. I can’t get enough of the Voivod Discography and believe they never got the props they deserved and still should.
    5. I once got high with Martin Lopez on Opeth’s tour bus and we were discussing our love for Tool and that type of music. Fast forward a fews years latter and now he has SOEN. Big coincidence but I like to think that conversation had something to do with it..Lol!!

  9. 1. I recently realized that I’m way more handsome than most people and I don’t feel bad about it.
    2. I squandered a massive amount of potentially life saving notes in a reckless shredding frenzy a couple days ago and I’m not the least bit remorseful.
    3. I kissed a girl and I liked it.
    4. I fucking LOVE metal but I don’t dig Mastodon. Not even a little.
    5. I have no regrets about eating the last ice cream bar. It called to me and I answered.

  10. ColoredSands94 says:

    Late to the confessional this week, but oh well here’s what I got

    1. I’ve never listened to The Haunted and don’t have any intention of doing so.

    2. I don’t get what all of the buzz about Revocation and Sylosis is all about. I tried but just couldn’t find much of anything I liked from either.

    3. Releases that receive tons of hype make me less interested in hearing them. This probably explains why I haven’t listened to Ghost Chants yet..

    • SurgicalBrute says:

      Hey!…get your own confession…Number three belongs to me 🙂

      • ColoredSands94 says:

        Hahaha I’ll admit, I can’t argue with a giant molten middle finger! I’ve got to get a little more original with my confessions

  11. Chronic_Headache says:

    I’m not ashamed to admit that I love Jimmy Buffet and I don’t care who knows it!!!!!!

  12. Stilgar says:

    1. I actually listen to my vinyl collection
    2. Colored Sands>>>>>>Surgical Steel
    3. Colin Marston is the best thing to happen to metal since Marshal Amps and invisible oranges
    4. I hate cheesecake
    5. The new Thy Art is Murder is actually…good…(?!?!)

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