Dec 182015

Cretos

 

(At this time of year, I remember the importance of displaying fealty to the Gore-Stained Axe-Tribe from Hirntodia, and so once again I have invited A Band of Orcs to share with the filthy human readers if our site their ideas about the year’s best albums. I am pathetically grateful to Cretos Filthgrinder, provider of lead and crunchy guitars and utterer of gutturals and growls, for accepting our invitation to share with us his year-end list. HAIL GZOROTH!)

Marduk-Frontschwein

 

Marduk – Frontschwein

This album is the best of 2015 to show beauty (only next to Cretos sexiest Orc) through Orcdor! By Orcdor I Cretos mean battle file and making lines to attack the enemy. Frontschwein captures all enemies slow or fast. Cretos fascinated with themes of war, and Frontschwein does very good since the last war efforts of Marduk’s Iron Dawn EP. HAIL MARDUK!

Mar 162015

 

(DGR hath delivered the following round-up of two new EPs and one new single.)

It’s been a little while since I’ve had time to really trawl around the internet and pen up one of these humongous roundups — mostly because smaller descriptions have been mutating into full album reviews. Often, I’ve used this kind of feature to help folks catch up with stuff they might have missed (or that we missed) and discover things that may have happened weeks ago, but flew under our collective radars. This time we’re having a little fun and attempting to bring a theme with this one — the theme of desaturated artwork, because what is more METAL than black-and-white artwork?

The answer is “nothing”, for it is bereft of all color, like our hardened and blackened souls. So I present unto you the most recent collection of things I have found, which actually share not one, but two things connected to the printed format: They are in black-and-white, and I was really fucking slow in writing about them and getting them out to you.

Jan 062015

 

(Yes, we did already post a year-end list from one of the members of A Band of Orcs [Cretos Filthgrinder], but we asked Gronk! if he would again give us one, too, because when it comes to being spared, we take no chances. HAIL GZOROTH!)

Unseasoned Greetings humies,

Once upon a time more Islander asks Gronk! for him’s Suncycle-end list of 2014.  Hail Islander, Gronk! guess me do nother such list for favorite metal bleeorg.  Gronk! not go in partorcular order like go last Suncycle.  Insteads me let Chaos Reign and go EXtream of subconsciousness for see what metal-philoso-theological thought-forms bubble up to surface from depths of darklake mind.

Dec 292014

 

(HAIL GZOROTH! We filthy NCS human are pathetically grateful to Cretos Filthgrinder, provider of lead and crunchy guitars and utterer of gutturals and growls for A Band of Orcs, for accepting our invitation to share with us his year-end list. HAIL GZOROTH!)

1 Triptykon – Melana Chasmata

Tom G. Warrior should slay it all! Tusks up for the abysmal masterpiece that is Melana Chasmata. From the first ear-piercing guitar tone to the last oRcgelic female vocal, Melana Chasmata takes Cretos out of Hirntodia and into the maelstrom of Celtic Frost-style hooks and doom-inspired hauntings. Melana Chasmata very well could be the best offering since To Mega Therion.

Jan 012014

photo by Ray Cottle

(Wretched humies that we are, and wishing to be spared when the domination of the great dragon comes, we humbly asked A Band of Orcs if they would share with us their favorite releases of 2013, and received this response from Gronk!, verse weaver and wielder of the shamanic bass. HAIL GZOROTH!)

Us allies at No Clean Singing have ask usses for review our favorite metal tales of 2013. As Shaman of the Gore-Stained Axe Tribe, Me, Gronk!, preserve kin’s history in song, invent tales of novel exploits of tribe, and convey to all Will of Great Gzoroth, Dragon of Chaos and Fire. Hail Gzoroth! 

In short, me tell stories.  Me also study Earthrealm metal tribes’ lyrical lore, for more understand our enemies, our allies, and the realm usses find usses in.  Earthrealm Metal Tribe’s Chronicle of despair, struggle, oppression, and (sometimes) rebellion of humies’ doomed kind against the ‘oppressors’ has kept running strong this year as in years before.  Whether view of vikings (Amon Amarth), aliens (Gwar), humies fearing aliens (Voivod), America-realm patriots (Havok) or just mortal humies (Iron Reagan), the tales make clear: Domination is coming! (Or is already here?)

Great has it been a year for doom-saying apocalyptic end-of-the-world fear and longing. A Swirling, hidden terror grips humies’ hearts. Every ungreen feels so, but naming “It” a bit like try to grasp eel — more tighter youse squeeze, more quickly “It” slips through youse clawed fingers. Or youse get shocked! But still, metal minstrels try and here is Gronk!’s favorite of what thems say this year.

Oct 302013

(Our man DGR do know how to write a fuckin’ show review, and this is his latest.)

I apologize for dragging ass as long as I did with the review on this one. I had hoped that some good quality video would be out by the time I wrote this, but as time continued on, it became more evident that this would likely be a text-only review. Flash back to October 19th, the day after my birthday. This show would be my personal celebration. I was going to go see one of the most ridiculous shows out there and I was going to drunkenly enjoy every second of it — that there might be some good music happening that night would only be a bonus.

This being a Saturday show, I knew that the crowd would be huge, and that prophecy was fulfilled pretty quickly when I showed up a full twenty-five minutes before doors, and for the first time ever, wound up waiting in line around the block. Other times I’ve been to shows, I’m usually within the first fifty or so people and then the crowd forms about ten minutes before doors. Not so in this case, and that’ll learn me for when/if Gwar come around again.

They’ve played Sacramento before, with Cancer Bats and Devildriver, but I sadly wound up missing that show due to work and I was determined not to do so this time, subjecting myself to weeks of graveyard shifts in order to insure that I had that Saturday evening off. It was an exciting as hell evening in a packed as hell venue, with one of the most energetic crowds I have seen in this city in some time.

Aug 012013

Collected here is news about three new tours that surfaced yesterday.

MADNESS AT THE CORE OF TIME TOUR

GWAR is the headliner of this tour, and the rest of the line-up consists of Whitechapel, Iron Reagan, and A Band of Orcs. It’s tough to find a unifying theme for the selection of these bands, other than the fact that the line-up is book-ended by inhuman creatures. But I’ve found that some of the best shows are those in which the combination of bands makes you scratch your head. One band might pull you in, and you might then discover another band you like.

In this case, Whitechapel have kicked my ass every time I’ve seen them and I’m also interested in seeing Iron Reagan and A Band of Orcs (HAIL GZOROTH!). I’ve never gotten into GWAR, though I can’t say I’ve ever given them much of a chance. Maybe that will be my new discovery on this tour. Here’s the schedule:

Dec 052012

HAIL GZOROTH!!!

If all you know about Orcs comes from the slanderous, grotesquely inaccurate fantasies presented as fact by that blasphemous charlatan JRR Tolkein (may he roast in the firepits of Hirntodia for eternity), then you might think Orcs are nothing more than brutish, filthy, degraded demons with a taste for human flesh, incapable of creating quality death metal. You shall learn differently (or you shall perish, by the will of the Great Chaos Dragon Gzoroth).

Adding Heads To the Pile by A Band of Orcs was released earlier this fall by Itchy Music and Entertainment and represents the Gore-Stained Axe-Tribe’s first full-length masterpiece, for which all devoted slaves have waited in agony over the five long years that have passed since the Orcs’ debut EP WarChiefs of the Apocalypse emerged to universal acclaim in 2007. Lyrically, the album tells a story of war, betrayal, and vengeance. Musically, the album carves that story into the brain with a diverse collection of remarkably good songs.

HAIL GZOROTH!!!

In style, the album can be divided into two parts with the short, unusual instrumental track “The Darkness That Comes Before” as the demarcation point. The five songs that come before it are generally blistering flamethrowers of death-infused thrash. They’re serious hell-for-leather head-snappers, with a mix of high-octane riffs, jolting rhythms, and flashy guitar solos that skitter, swarm, and writhe like humans under the knife.

These fast-movers benefit from a super-tight rhythm section and a technically impressive array of accelerated guitar licks, and Gogog brings a deliciously evil mix of throaty roars and wrenching shrieks in his vocals. Of these songs in the album’s first half, all of which are galvanizing, “In the Keeper’s Chamber” is the standout.

Oct 292012

This is just a quick note about three full-album streams, two of which began today and one that started last Friday. In my humble opinion, these are albums worth hearing. They provide, after all, a better vehicle than any review for deciding whether the music is worth getting.

DRAGGED INTO SUNLIGHT

I’m very high on Widowmaker, the new album by UK’s Dragged Into Sunlight. I explained why in this review. I also pointed out that the album is really best considered as one long song divided into three parts. At the time of my review, the only thing available for public streaming was a preview clip. That was better than nothing, but for an album conceived and executed as a single work, there’s really no substitute for hearing it in that way. You can (and should) do that at the Terrorizer site: HERE

A BAND OF ORCS

We’ve written quite often about California’s A Band of Orcs. Because we are no fools. Because when the Domination comes, only select humans will be spared. By sucking up relentlessly, I figure we’re improving our odds of survival. Orcs are mercurial and prone to unpredictable behavior when their blood is up, so there are no guarantees. So I’m performing a further act of obeisance by telling you that the Orcs’ debut album is now streaming in full.

Sep 262012

Yours truly is on the road again, and by “road” I mean in airports and on airplanes and therefore spending hours of tedium separated from the internet. As a result, the postings between now and Monday are going to be scattered and probably fewer than normal. I did have time last night and this morning to survey what’s been happening over the last 24 hours and found the following nuggets of interest.

ITEM ONE: DYING FETUS, ET AL – “THE BLOOD OF POWER TOUR”

I started posting about this tour when there was no official announcement and just a few dates had surfaced, because I was so fuckin’ excited about it. Yesterday it became official. I saw on Metal Sucks (which is co-sponsoring the tour) that Dying Fetus, Cattle Decapitation, and Cerebral Bore will indeed be touring the U.S. in November and December.

But this official announcement has revealed something I didn’t know: Malignancy will be taking the place of Cattle Decapitation during the last week of the tour. The two bands are very different, of course, but they’re both just excellent at what they do. If you want a taste of Malignancy’s forthcoming album (which is amazing), check out this post. Tour dates are right after the jump.

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