Sep 212011

And why is this the final NCS t-shirt update? Because I just returned from the U.S. post office, where I mailed off shirts to every U.S. and Canadian resident who has requested one to date. Yes, I know you had your doubts, but it’s true. At some point over the next week, plain brown envelopes will begin arriving, and inside, those bold NCS readers who asked will find one of the timeless works of art that yours truly is modeling in that photo up above.

I need to give a shout-out to Chris Martin and Voodoo Screen Printing in the Seattle area, who did such a superb job making the shirts (and making them quickly), and to my friend Derick, who recommended Chris and put me in touch with him. The shirts look outstanding, in my completely un-objective opinion.

We still have shirts left, in sizes ranging from S to 2XL, so if you, your friends, or your enemies want one of these badass babies, all you or they have to do is write me. The shirts are still free, and we’re still paying the shipping charges. All we ask is that you order one only if you really will wear the shirt — which is actually asking a lot, as you’ll understand if you take a good close look at what’s on the shirt:  (after the jump . . .)

Yes, that’s a close-up of what’s on the shirt. Want one? To get one, while supplies last, e-mail me your name, mailing address, and your size at this address:

This offer is still limited to residents of the U.S. and Canada. If we do decide to go international with this, I’ll add another post to that effect. I’m about to do some traveling over the next 10 days, so I won’t be able to fill any new orders ’til I get back, so please don’t hold your breath waiting for a shirt to arrive, unless, y’know, you can hold your breath like a whale.

  41 Responses to “FINAL NCS T-SHIRT UPDATE”

  1. I’m tempted to wear mine on some holiday my family gets together and see if anyone notices.

  2. Also, I like your tattoos.

  3. Hey, that’s great news.. and as much as I liked the original posterr design, I think it kind of looks better on the shirt.. I’m excited!

  4. So sexy. So…suave. so mindfuckingly beautiful.

    And the short’s not bad either.

  5. The shirts do look beautiful! I can’t wait. I’m a senior in highschool so I can’t wear it to school, but if I could, I totally would. haha and let us see your face. I’ll be brutally honest (because it’s the only type of honest we know how to be here at NCS), I feel like all the guys that post here are probably attractive. Don’t ask why. And I agree with the others here, your tattoos are pretty great. and then paired with the shirt. True beauty, Islander.

    • We make Adonis feel ugly.

      And then we steal all his booze and women.


    • You are amazingly perceptive. What actually drew all of the writers here together is the fact that in our day jobs, we are all male models. We give balance to our amazingly shallow and superficial existences by writing about metal.

    • At first I was all, “why can’t you wear it to school? Because penis?” And I was all set to go on a rant about how people need to get their heads out of their rectal sphincters and understand that such biological things are natural and good…and then I was like, oh right, it also says cock. And FUCKING. So never mind. You should probably not wear it to school.

  6. Not sure what my [problem is or why I’m crazy late with this but I totally need one of these fucking shirts!!!!

  7. YES.
    If by the grace of Odin I am able to attend the Barge To Hell cruise event, I will most definitely be rocking this (I’ll send you a picture like My MetalSucks shirt entry at the 70K Tons of Metal)

    • I just found out about that Barge To Hell cruise. Two metal cruises in one year is not a bad thing at all. Be sure and let me know when your shirt arrives — or if it doesn’t — since I have no idea where that alphabetic military address is going to take the shirt. You’re the only person (so far) getting one who isn’t in the US or Canada.

  8. Great shirts. I totally want one.

  9. Mine just got here! My son’s was a surprise and he is very stoked. 🙂

  10. I got mine today. Very cool. I think I’ll wear it to the Opeth show and tell them that if they are going to change their music so drastically, then they should really have a different band name for their new project. I’ll suggest that they use the shirt names for inspiration, or just steal the Thor’s Uterus one.

  11. Oh yeah, and thank you! I multiplied the postage charge by 100 and thought, that, plus the cost of printing the shirts, is pretty generous.

  12. So, yeah. A little bit ago I finally got home from work and all the junk I had to do after work. And I found that I, too, have received my shipment from NCS Island. That was a nice surprise, since I was expecting (being all the way over on the opposite side of the country and stuff), that I might be waiting an extra day or two…

    But anyway, it’s awesome, and I definitely look forward to the next non-family, non-work, non-chance-of-being-around-old-ladies-or-anyone-else-easily-offended event..

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