I am humbled on a daily basis by the creativity of others. Fortunately, this hasn’t made me bitter, because I just steal all that creativity and slap it up here on this site, and that makes me feel like I’ve done a good deed, and that makes me feel less like hunting down the creators and setting them on fire because they’re more creative than I am.
Except for the thing I’m writing about in this post. This is so fuckin’ choice that it makes me bitter because I didn’t think of it first. So while you enjoy it I’ll be tracking down the creators with a backpack full of gasoline and a road flare.
Here’s how this works: Think about your initials (yeah, this means you have to fuckin’ sober up to play this game). Then, use your initials to pick a name from each column in the chart above, and voila, you have your very own goregrind band name!
Don’t worry, you don’t have to squint at the chart because I’m putting a much bigger version of it after the jump.
My goregrind band name is Extreme Bladder Decapitation. This is amazingly revealing, since I lost my head long ago and now I know why. It was all because of my extreme bladder.
But it’s not the name I’d prefer. I’d rather have Rancid Semen Feast or Necro Toilet Party or Pus Filled Ass Attack. But sometimes you can’t get what you want.
So let’s have it: What’s your goregrind band name?
Fermented Pussy Deepthroat 🙁
That’s two orifices covered, with fermentation. Good start.
Ejaculating Bladder Ejaculation.
There’s a lot of ejaculation here. There’s also a lot of ejaculation in your band name.
Fermented Cum Abortion
I’d like to get a 6-pack of that.
Ejaculating Retard Warfare
Oh, and my wife? Deadly Pussy Warfare.
These names sum up the universal male/female dichotomy quite nicely.
Blistered Bladder Warfare.
I warned you about the risks of drinking paint thinner.
Your warning, like your abortion, was simply too late to make any difference.
This will teach me not to match wits with you when you’re drunk on paint thinner.
Rotting Cum Party for my real name.
Rotting Toilet Rape for these here online initials.
also NCS gets us Decomposing Cock Attack – which should probably be the sites new byline..
No “probably” about it.
Anal Ass Attack. I am going to trademark that RIGHT NOW because it’s the greatest name of all time.
I’m displeased with the result from my real name though — because my middle name starts with M, a pretty common letter for names to start with, and it gives me “Trampoline”. Out of all (26×3) words on this chart, “Trampoline” is totally the stupidest possible result. It makes no sense at all.
No doubt you’ve been looking for an excuse to legally change your name to Valley of Steel. Now you have it.
Ejaculating Trampoline Warfare. It’s like safety goregrind.
I’m imagining ejaculate bouncing up and down. It’s raining semen!
Just randomly I am enjoying the names:
“Lesbian Trampoline Attack”
“Mutant Chainsaw Massacre”
Blistered Pussy Abortion
Beastial pussy party and you are all invited!!!!
If you’ll be serving 6-packs of Fermented Cum Abortion, I’m there!
Bestial Trampoline Rape
Maybe it’s just me, but I think raping a trampoline is immoral.
What are you, some sort of bleeding-heart liberal?
If they’re out their, flaunting their springs, they’re just asking for it if you ask me!
No one asked you.
Shit Covered Cunt Decapitation. Just trying to imagine how that would work is making my head hurt like decapitation by a shit-covered cunt. Oh, I get it now.
Eggzactly. However, I was hoping for Shit Covered Grandma Fisting.
Piss Soaked Hospital Fisting.
I can smell that from here. It’s not a good smell.
Bestial Scab Attack
My Wife….Bestial Pussy Attack.
I’m wondering how many people on here who have disclosed their spouses’ goregrind names have shared the names with their spouses. Of course, I would have told my wife about her name (“Erotic Pussy Party”) except the name is so redundant. When is a pussy party not erotic? So I think I’ll just keep that to myself.
My gf: Lesbian Cum Vomit.
Of course you’ll now have to get that tattooed on your arm. Or maybe a neck tattoo would be more fitting.
She called me as I was looking up her name, so I told her what it was…needless to say, she thought it was funny.
blistered anal bead dismemberment
^^^ now THERE is a pleasant mental image!
Possibly the funniest one yet. Running neck-and-neck with Shit Covered Cunt Decapitation.
Piss-Soaked Chainsaw Death. Nice. My children do somewhat better:
Necro Chainsaw Death
Lesbian Scab Death
and, best of all:
DEADLY COCK DEATH
Oh my, I hadn’t thought about the poor children. But DEADLY COCK DEATH (and yes, it must be spelled with caps lock) is supremely good.
I didn’t go into the dogs.
The first is Piss-Soaked Cum Death.
The other dog is Necro Chainsaw Intestine Dildo-Hospital Knife Death.
You have some very elaborate dog names.
Rotting Cum Dismemberment for me!
My gf’s would be Lesbian Bladder Death. Oddly enough, there’s actually a band in that BOA competition with a name that is quite similar, and equally puzzling: Lesbian Bed Death. No idea what they sound like, but the name gets my attention every time.
Puss Filled Pussy Attack
I’m so relieved. We needed pus in this string of names, and finally we have some.
Disgusting Trampoline Party
I assume there’s a “fecal” that’s been forgotten somewhere in there.
The soon-to-be wife will be Animal Ejaculating Party.
I think in your case “fecal” goes without saying. It’s kind of like the silent “t” at the end of French words.
I should get an “I heart poop” shirt with the Facebook emoticons.
My hedgehog’s name would be Munted Party….I guess. Not very exciting…..
i think I win…. Ejaculating pussy abortion. I may actually use this.
I “may”, hahaha, already done. first song, fetal cranial detonation ejaculation stew
Excellent song name. That’s a tasty sounding stew, though it could use some pus.
Disgusting Dildo Dismemberment — That’s right motherfuckers, it not only rules… it alliterates.
High points for the alliteration, and for the dildo. But I like your AMG name better: “Blistered Trampoline Maggot” would cause more head-scratching and would therefore be more memorable. Everyone already knows about disgusting dildo dismemberment.
Rancid Pussy Gagging.
Blue waffle for dinner, anyone?
Congratulations. I am gagging already.
Abortion Intestine Cum Attack that’ll be the name of my new band then hahahahahaa
Can I just use my middle and last names? Trampoline Decapitation sounds sooooooo good, just by itself.
Using ESJ for my band’s name doesn’t make sense. Pus-Filled Bladder Squatting? Dafuq?
But if I go ES then start over for the JFK, Pus-Filled Bladder Ejaculating Grandma Feast sounds rather interesting, even if I skullfuck the rules.
Some favorites from people I know:
-Necro Animal Warfare (my fiancée)
-Piss Soaked Pussy Dismemberment (my friend’s wife)
-Disgusting Scab Ejaculation (a friend)
I don’t use my middle name, so mine is “Lesbian Ejaculation”
How fitting for me 🙂