Apr 112013

I am humbled on a daily basis by the creativity of others. Fortunately, this hasn’t made me bitter, because I just steal all that creativity and slap it up here on this site, and that makes me feel like I’ve done a good deed, and that makes me feel less like hunting down the creators and setting them on fire because they’re more creative than I am.

Except for the thing I’m writing about in this post. This is so fuckin’ choice that it makes me bitter because I didn’t think of it first. So while you enjoy it I’ll be tracking down the creators with a backpack full of gasoline and a road flare.

Here’s how this works: Think about your initials (yeah, this means you have to fuckin’ sober up to play this game). Then, use your initials to pick a name from each column in the chart above, and voila, you have your very own goregrind band name!

Don’t worry, you don’t have to squint at the chart because I’m putting a much bigger version of it after the jump.

My goregrind band name is Extreme Bladder Decapitation. This is amazingly revealing, since I lost my head long ago and now I know why. It was all because of my extreme bladder.

But it’s not the name I’d prefer. I’d rather have Rancid Semen Feast or Necro Toilet Party or Pus Filled Ass Attack. But sometimes you can’t get what you want.

So let’s have it: What’s your goregrind band name?

(via i fucking love heavy metal)

  65 Responses to “YOUR GOREGRIND BAND NAME”

  1. Fermented Pussy Deepthroat 🙁

  2. Ejaculating Bladder Ejaculation.

  3. Fermented Cum Abortion

  4. Ejaculating Retard Warfare

  5. Blistered Bladder Warfare.

    I win.

  6. Rotting Cum Party for my real name.
    Rotting Toilet Rape for these here online initials.

  7. Anal Ass Attack. I am going to trademark that RIGHT NOW because it’s the greatest name of all time.

    I’m displeased with the result from my real name though — because my middle name starts with M, a pretty common letter for names to start with, and it gives me “Trampoline”. Out of all (26×3) words on this chart, “Trampoline” is totally the stupidest possible result. It makes no sense at all.

  8. Ejaculating Trampoline Warfare. It’s like safety goregrind.

  9. Just randomly I am enjoying the names:

    “Lesbian Trampoline Attack”


    “Mutant Chainsaw Massacre”

  10. Blistered Pussy Abortion

  11. Beastial pussy party and you are all invited!!!!

  12. Bestial Trampoline Rape

    Er uh…

  13. Shit Covered Cunt Decapitation. Just trying to imagine how that would work is making my head hurt like decapitation by a shit-covered cunt. Oh, I get it now.

  14. Piss Soaked Hospital Fisting.

  15. Bestial Scab Attack

  16. blistered anal bead dismemberment

  17. Piss-Soaked Chainsaw Death. Nice. My children do somewhat better:

    Necro Chainsaw Death
    Lesbian Scab Death

    and, best of all:


  18. Rotting Cum Dismemberment for me!

    My gf’s would be Lesbian Bladder Death. Oddly enough, there’s actually a band in that BOA competition with a name that is quite similar, and equally puzzling: Lesbian Bed Death. No idea what they sound like, but the name gets my attention every time.

  19. Puss Filled Pussy Attack

  20. Disgusting Trampoline Party

    I assume there’s a “fecal” that’s been forgotten somewhere in there.

    The soon-to-be wife will be Animal Ejaculating Party.

  21. i think I win…. Ejaculating pussy abortion. I may actually use this.

  22. Disgusting Dildo Dismemberment — That’s right motherfuckers, it not only rules… it alliterates.

    • High points for the alliteration, and for the dildo. But I like your AMG name better: “Blistered Trampoline Maggot” would cause more head-scratching and would therefore be more memorable. Everyone already knows about disgusting dildo dismemberment.

  23. Rancid Pussy Gagging.
    Blue waffle for dinner, anyone?

  24. Abortion Intestine Cum Attack that’ll be the name of my new band then hahahahahaa

  25. Can I just use my middle and last names? Trampoline Decapitation sounds sooooooo good, just by itself.

    Using ESJ for my band’s name doesn’t make sense. Pus-Filled Bladder Squatting? Dafuq?

    But if I go ES then start over for the JFK, Pus-Filled Bladder Ejaculating Grandma Feast sounds rather interesting, even if I skullfuck the rules.

  26. Some favorites from people I know:
    -Necro Animal Warfare (my fiancée)
    -Piss Soaked Pussy Dismemberment (my friend’s wife)
    -Disgusting Scab Ejaculation (a friend)

  27. I don’t use my middle name, so mine is “Lesbian Ejaculation”

    How fitting for me 🙂

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