Yesterday I mentioned that I had recently made a trip to Austin, Texas, to visit my brother. Whenever I go to Austin I also check in with my oldest friend and his spouse, who is also an old friend. They’re not lovers of metal, but they’re definitely metal, if you know what I mean. One of the times I hung out with them, they mentioned that they had heard some kind of program (I can’t remember if it was radio or TV) about uncomfortable words. These are words that make most people uncomfortable for one of two reasons.
First, they can be uncomfortable because of the way they sound, even if what they mean isn’t discomfiting at all. It helps if you enunciate such words in a way that draws them out, preferably with a layer of creepy accents (I’m thinking of Vincent Price, but anyone who sounds like a child molester would work). Â Second, they can be uncomfortable because they actually mean something that makes people uneasy, or queasy.
Of course, we had to play the game. I think we did a pretty good job, taking turns swapping uncomfortable words. I think it helped to have a few shots and beers, though conceivably some of the words we picked might be less humorously uncomfortable to a sober listener. But even though my old friends were pretty good at this, I thought we could extend the list by turning to the pro’s, and by “pro’s” I mean people like you. Y’know, lovers of extreme metal — people who make everyone around them uncomfortable just by existing, people with a diseased turn of mind, people who don’t blanch at song lyrics that would get you jailed in 99% of the geographic United States if spoken aloud.
Here are the words we came up with:
Ointment
Moist
Phlegm
Ooze
Smegma
Pus
Excretion
Spooge
Snot
Grunge
Slime
Exudation
Flaccid
Spunk
Looking back on this list, I see an inordinate affection for words involving human bodily fluids.But hey, nothing makes the average American more uncomfortable than talking about human bodily fluids.
So now it’s time to let the pro’s weigh in. Weigh in with your own words — and remember that the words can be uncomfortable for either of the two reasons mentioned above. So let’s go: Make me proud.
42 Responses to “UNCOMFORTABLE WORDS”
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Just updated my review dictionary
Glad to see you’re making productive use of this exercise. I think randomly inserting one of these words in each paragraph would build reader interest.
You bet .. But will have a tough time using ointment though. hehe
Creepy but cool!!!! Here’s some more:
Probe
Slither
Drip
Gunk
Faeces
Excrement
Intravenous (always makes me squirm)
Rectum
Pungent
I know there are more, many more, but this is off the top of my head.
Well, the top of your head is infested with something. I’d get that looked at.
Haha!!! Indeed, some industrial strength disinfectant will do!
Or perhaps not… Uranium????!
Erection
Those made me particularly uncomfortable while sitting in my 8th grade English class.
Win!
My friend says “wife”.
For the record, in case my wife should find this post, there is nothing uncomfortable about “wife”. It is a glorious word that makes me feel all is right with the world, a warm and happy feeling filled with sentiments of great admiration and intense love and gratitude.
Good show, man, good show!
Thanks. I tried to be understated so it wouldn’t come off as ass-kissing bullshit.
Muck
Sludge
Chop
Cleave
Gob
Nice. Makes me want to chop and cleave someone’s head and see the muck and sludge ooze out of their gob.
lunchmeat
cheesewhiz
Here’s a few words that I find to be personally uncomfortable right now, and will physically find them more uncomfortable in about two weeks:
cystoscope
laser lithotripsy
ureteric stent
Shit man, that sucks. I’m afraid to even look up what these words mean.
Long story short, I’m going to get knocked out and have total strangers do unsavory things with my genitalia.
Or as we used to call in college: Friday night.
HA! Your Friday nights were more fun than mine. 🙂
Catheter
Chigger
Ringwald
Sphincter
Don Henley
OK, this one got me laughing, especially when it finally hit me that you wrote “Ringwald” instead of “Ringworm”.
I don’t have any of my own to add. Really none of these bother me in the slightest. But, I have a friend who would add “stagnant” to the list.
I linked my two friends to this post, and they came up with a few more entries:
Mucous
Mulch
Clot
Mucosal
Masticate
Niggler
Niggard
Pustule
Jigger
Orifice
Throbbing
Heaving
Engorged
Bieber
Bah, I was going to say Bieber. Now I’ll have to go with Madonna or Gaga or some other squirm inducing “entertainer”.
My next thought was Kesha. Generally makes me uncomfortable.
Well, that list sure made me uncomfortable. I’m more in the heaving mode than the engorged and throbbing mode now.
Glad I could help! 🙂
Glib
Bisect
Furuncle
Fistula
Scrape
Clench
I had to look up furuncle and fistula, and now I wish I hadn’t.
Hopefully you didn’t Google image search them… I don’t recommend it.
By coincidence, I just learned what a fistula was yesterday. So the timing of this post was excellent since I got to use that info almost immediately.
rectum
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
My dixie wrecked.
If that lasts for more than 4 hours, please consult your doctor.
dysentery
Goiter
Felch
Oh hell yes. Excellent additions. Allow me to further contribute:
Canker
My Austin friend also wishes to toss in:
Scabbed
Gelatinous
Squishy