Well, we will indeed have a new Deicide album this year. Yesterday Century Media announced that In the Minds of Evil will be released on November 25, which is fitting since it was on that day in 1667 that a deadly earthquake rocked Shemakha in the Caucasus, killing 80,000 people.
Or maybe it’s because November 25 is the anniversary of The Great Storm of 1703, the greatest windstorm ever recorded in the southern part of Great Britain, which reached its peak intensity with winds gusting up to 120 mph and killed 9,000 people.
Or possibly it’s because of the earthquake on November 25, 1759, that destroyed Beirut and Damascus, killing 30,000-40,000.
No, wait! It must be because of the November 25 cyclone in 1839 that slammed India with high winds and a 40-foot storm surge, destroying the port city of Coringa, taking with it 20,000 ships and the lives of about 300,000 people!
Actually, I don’t really know why the fuck they picked November 25. I do know what the album cover looks like, because that was revealed yesterday. It’s from a painting named “Power of the Mind”, rendered by Simon Cowell. (No, not that Simon Cowell, this one.) I also know the names of the songs, because Century Media reminded us of them yesterday as well.
Here’s the track list. And as it happens, each song is the answer to a question:
1. In The Minds Of Evil
(where high fructose corn syrup was invented)
2. Thou Begone
(King James version of “fuck off”)
(what’s left on the highway after God runs you down at full speed in the tricked-out “GOD” edition of the SVT Raptor)
4. Beyond Salvation
(my condition after the 5th shot of whiskey on Friday night)
5. Misery Of One
(what I experienced on Saturday morning after my wife left home in disgust)
6. Between The Flesh And The Void
(the name that Between the Buried and Me should pick when they finally decide to quit horsing around and go straight death metal)
7. Even The Gods Can Bleed
(and why do you think you can make me bleed?)
8. Trample The Cross
(what Walmart shoppers will do if you drop a cross just inside the doors when they open on Black Friday — only 91 shopping days left ’til Christmas!)
9. Fallen To Silence
(Glen Benton after discovering the existence of Gläce Luxury Ice; fortunately, a temporary condition)
10. Kill The Light Of Christ
(new Deicide priority after discovering that Satan has photophobia)
11. End The Wrath Of God
(next best thing after taking away His driver’s license; may be tougher to do after killing the light of Christ)
Actually, my ideas about the subject matter of these songs are probably wrong. Your ideas are probably better than mine. Feel free to share them in the comments. Or just tell us how you feel about the prospect of a new Deicide album. I for one am feeling blasphemous.