We may have another post for you today, a full-album stream of a recently reviewed album, but this depends on the whims of the technology gods. In the meantime, below is what purports to be a list of reasons for admission to an insane asylum in the late 1800s, sent to me by a friend (thank you Patrick). Exactly why he thought this would interest me, I’m not completely sure. But of course it interests me intensely, mainly because the vast majority of these reasons look like metal band names.
Actually, I’m pretty sure some of these ARE metal band names.
I could have some fun imagining the genres that these fictitious bands play, but I’m supposed to go back to work at my fucking day job, so maybe you’ll feel so inclined in the comments. And regardless of the band-name thing, this is just hilarious — as long as you don’t think too hard about the fact that people were committed to asylums in the late 1800s based on this kind of stuff.
Actually, I don’t even know what the fuck a lot of this stuff means. “Fever and Loss of Law Suit”? “Exposure in Army”?? “Gathering in the Head”??? “Imaginary Female Trouble”???? (mine is definitely not imaginary). On the other hand, “Masturbation for 30 Years” — I have first-hand knowledge of that one.
Let’s just all be happy we’re living in the 21st Century instead of the late 1800s, shall we?
Maybe “Gathering in the Head” is something like multiple personality disorder (which also has a different name now).
Makes sense, but such a superior descriptive way of referring to the disorder.
These are amazing. Some of these should still be relevant today. I mean politics is on there, can we get politicians committed?
I second that motion. I think anyone who even WANTS to be a politician is by definition ready for institutionalization.
Deranged masturbation is on there? Oh shit…
Yeah, that’s a problem. But better than “Suppressed Masturbation”.
Something about about “Feebleness Of Intellect” being followed up by “Fell From Horse In War” made me laugh out loud. I think it was the vauge broadness of the first being followed by something so specific and mundane. Or it could be my own “Feebleness Of Intellect.”
I’m laughing about it all over again right now. “Novel Reading” and “Nymphomania” is another good one-two punch, as is “Bad Whiskey” followed by the “Bloody Flux”. I been there.
Masturbation for 30 years is some endurance, son.
Also, dibs on Fell From Horse In War. That could actually work as a name.
People definitely wouldn’t forget it after they heard it the first time. 🙂
“Deranged Masturbation” would make a pretty good goregrind band name; so would “Uterine Derangment” lol.
Goregrind and brutal death would seem to be most at home with these names. But I’m still searching for the genre of “Eating Snuff for 2 Years”.
I like “shooting of daughter”. Must have been a lot of that going around.
Not punishable as a crime, of course, just a bit of treatment.
A well-known sign of mental derangement.
“masturbation” seems to pop up quite often on this list
It does — talk about a repressed period of history. And being a woman seems to have been grounds for commitment, just about all by itself. “Female Disease” seems to cover a lot of territory.
That list is awesome. Wait a sec… “reading of novels”??? Hide me, they’re gonna take me to the asylum!!!!!
Hold on . . . you read novels?? You fuckin’ lunatic! Clearly a danger to yourself and others. Immediately straightjacket yourself and then have a friend drive you to your local version of Bedlam.
lol, “Salvation Army”
That one’s way up there for WTF? content, though I guess it goes hand in hand with “Religious Enthusiasm”.
Well, because I’m probably mentally deranged enough to do that, I checked on MA if some of these names were actual metal bands. This was entertaining.
Hysteria gave eight results, including a French brutal death metal band which is clearly good, a song can be heard at http://hysteria999.free.fr/ecard/index.php
Asthma gave two results, including a Latvia death/thrash act which I really appreciated. One of their albums is available for full streaming on Bandcamp, check it on http://asthmaofficial.bandcamp.com/album/most-evil
Brainfever was a German heavy metal band from the 80s, with a cool NWOBHM sound : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix9awgVhe0M
Superstition gives three results, including a death metal band from Croatia, which I’ve tried for you, and it’s not bad ! Check it by yourself : https://myspace.com/superstitionkc/music/songs
Grief is a well-know doom/sludge band from Massachussetts
And I’m extremely disappointed there weren’t other results, I’d have loved to hear the brutal sound of Deranged Masturbation, definitely 🙂
You, sir, are a prince among men for doing this. Though I must say that Metal has disappointed me by picking the least LOLworthy names for band monikers. I thought for sure that “Suppression of Menses” would be on MA somewhere.
That’s too much honor for a peasant like me 😉
If you have some spare time some time in the future, we can always do something to get Suppression of Menses on MA. I play the guitar. Can you sing ? 😀
If I could arrange a colonoscopy without anesthesia and get mic’ed up for the procedure, I might be able to give you some usable vocals.
That rocks \m/