[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest post is from Timbus, the guitarist, back-up vocalist, and co-founder of NCS favorite, Nekrogoblikon. He has some thoughts about musical taste and what it means to be open-minded . . .]
Sometimes people are just walking piles of bullshit. In fact I bet half the people you see day-to-day are made solely of poop. It’s really horrifying. I wonder if they know? Probably not. They’re all stomping around *splunch* *splunch* “I’m so smart!” *splunch* *splunch*. Their footsteps probably make that noise. That’s how poop walks. Probably. Maybe one day some dude will try to talk to them and quickly determine that the human being they’re interacting with is really just sentient excrement. Then the dude will sit back and go “Ohhhh, I see what the problem is. We disagree because you’re actually just made of poop.” I think that doesn’t happen very often though.
People can bullshit just about anything. You’ll hear stories all the time about how either people bullshit the government or the government bullshits us. Or maybe it’s a job. Or maybe it’s Enron. Or maybe it’s Osama Bin Laden, I don’t fucking know. The entertainment industry is definitely made up 90% of poop. But so are the consumers! So it’s ok!
Have you ever asked anyone “What kind of music do you like?” or “What’s your favorite band?” I’m a musician. Music is such a big part of my life that relating to other people is much easier if I can find common ground musically. So, naturally, I ask those questions of people I meet. Sometimes I get really interesting answers. Sometimes I get a response that’s more like “Oh I just listen to radio” or “I watch MTV” or some other mainstream response. Those are fine! If you’re not really “into” music, and you just listen to whatever’s on your local rock station, that’s totally chill. Hey, I like eating out a lot, but I don’t really care about the particulars of how my food was prepared, just as long as it tastes good. Not everyone is a musician or even a music nerd. (more after the jump . . .)
Anyway, I’m sure you’ve met people that say things like “Oh actually I listen to everything! I don’t have a favorite band or genre! I’m pretty open minded!” No. You’re a fucking pile of shit. You are not open minded. Saying “I like everything!” is basically saying “I have no taste! I can’t discern differences in the songs I hear! It all sounds the same! Tee hee!” Moreover, when you confront someone like that by saying “Well, what about grindcore?” or even less extreme genres, they’ll say “Oh no, I don’t like that. How can people listen to that? Isn’t it just noise?” Ugh. My blood pressure shoots up and I have to punch a shark in the face repeatedly.
The trouble is, liking everything and open-minded-ness have nothing to do with each other. Having an open mind is about being able to try new things and learn about them before making a judgment. So when you do make that judgment, it’s an informed one. Saying “I don’t like grindcore” when you’ve heard one band that’s not actually even grindcore is fucking retarded. It’s even more retarded when the genre you’re talking about is huuuuge.
Heavy metal and its various sub-genres form a massive categorization of music. I mean seriously, go to Metal Archives and look at the sheer number of bands on there. That’s not even all of them! By the way, for the un-informed, death metal, power metal, doom metal, black metal, thrash, metalcore, grindcore, stoner metal, progressive metal, folk metal, and nintendo-core do sound quite different from one another. But to know that, you’d need to actually listen to some bands in all those genres instead of talking out of your GIANT POOP MOUTH. Of course genres blend and there’s bands that cross over and bla bla bla. So does pop music. You can tell country from rock apart right? They both have guitars, bass, drums, vocals, and keyboards. Well, same with death metal and power metal. Check that shit out. The thick film covering your ears and brain might start to break up a little.
Also if you make fun of someone for liking Meshuggah or The Black Dahlia Murder or Opeth, keep in mind they’re probably snickering at you for listening to 50 Cent, Christina Aguilera, or Outkast. Poop everywhere! People need to calm down and realize that people listen to music differently and for different reasons. Yeah, maybe Christina Aguilera doesn’t have any sick breakdowns, but hey, it sure is fun to dance to her music. And yeah, maybe Meshuggah has ridiculous screaming vocals but good luck getting 50 Cent to memorize their polyrhythms. The moral is: tastes vary! And no one is right! If someone was, we’d be left with one genre of music – poop music.