Jun 152011

This was designed by our buddy Phro as a kind of mock-up for something more permanent. It appears Phro has some modest graphics skillz in addition to . . . uh . . . his other talents.

I’m going back and forth in my mind about whether to make this sub-heading permanent. On the one hand, it has “Big Jugs” in it, which is bound to be a draw. We’d probably get more readers from people searching for porn sites. More readers is a good thing, right? On the other hand, there actually does seem to be a thing called Big Jugs Monthly, and so we’d probably get sued for trademark infringement. Also, I doubt many NCS patrons have ever perused The New Yorker magazine, so there’s that. What do you think?

As to where this idea came from, it’s all Phro. It evolved from a comment thread on a recent introductory post for a possible new NCS series called OLD SCHOOL / NEW SCHOOL. I asked whether people would be interested in seeing more installments of that series, and that led to an exchange with Phro, which you can see after the jump. So, I really can’t claim any credit. And why would I want to?


  1. I think it would look sweet in tentacle font.

    • I could have some trouble finding a graphics designer willing to work with tentacles. I might have to pay for mental health insurance.

      • We must all suffer for our art!!

        Some drink mercury, some drink absinthe, but…I DRINK THE MURKY INK OF A THOUSAND OCTOBONERS!!!

        Wait…no, no, I don’t! That’s disgusting!

      • No need, someone was already mental enough to design such a font voluntarily: http://www.dafont.com/purple-tentacle.font

        On a more serious note; I have no clue what the New Yorker is, nor have I heard of Big Jugs Monthly. I can make a mental picture of both, but especially in the case of the former I have no clue about its accuracy. In short, I don’t get the joke. Fuckin’ Yurpeans!

        • Tentacle font! But I don’t see any suckers, and it doesn’t make me feel queasy to look at it.

          So I guess when you have to explain a joke, that means it wasn’t a very good joke to begin with. I blame Phro. Anyway, The New Yorker is a magazine that has been around for a very long time. It includes music, book, and movie reviews, plus poetry and cartoons, plus humor, plus extended essays on a wide range of serious subjects. It’s extremely well-written. I can’t say what Big Jugs Monthly is, but I’m guessing it’s just porn. So I think Phro was trying to compliment NCS by saying that, by comparison, we make even a sophisticated mag like The New Yorker look like a piece of trashy porn.

          Or at least that’s my interpretation.

          • Yah, that’s pretty much it.

            Though, to be honest, I’m not sure if Big Jugs Monthly is actually a real thing or not.
            I swear I saw one when I worked at gas station frequented by dirty, filthy, no-good truckers in Nebraska, but I’m not sure.

            (In case you’re not familiar with truckers, they are not pleasant people to be around in my experience. They will literally pee in cups or bottles and then throw those piss filled cups/bottles in open trash cans which poor 18 year old boys have to clean up…with nothing but a baseball cap and latex gloves. Fucking truckers.)

  2. His first comment is priceless… Phro’s like one of my favorite commenters on the metal blogs I frequent.

    • Mine to, dude. I feel like I should be paying him to read and comment.

      Wait, he may read this . . . I didn’t really mean that.

      • It’s okay, I accept payment in dollars, yen, and saltines. Seriously. I love me some saltines.

        (The crackers, of course. In case saltine has some other meaning in like with “santorum”. Utmu, for the sake of your OCD, do not, under any circumstances, google “santorum”.)

        • Saltines it will be! Thank you for those options. Though it would have been nice if you’d included paper clips in the list. Or dirt.

          The only santorum I know of is a douchebag politician from Pennsylvania. If there’s something worse that would show up on a google search, I don’t want to know about it.

          • My old high school English teacher collected dirt. Whenever students went somewhere, instead of brining him souvenirs, he’d tell them to bring him baggies of dirt. But I’m not a hippie, so that won’t work for me.

            I will take paper clips, but only if they’re all sorts of shiny colors. The exchange rate for saltines to paper clips is about 1.34 saltines to 2.6 squiggly paper clips or 1.7 normal ones.

            Ah! Are you familiar with Dan Savage? The gay sex columnist?
            I’ll just quote Wikipedia at you:

            In protest, syndicated columnist Dan Savage launched a contest among his readers in May 2003 to coin a new word “santorum” with an unflattering sexual definition, and followed this with a Google bombing campaign to spread the new term. Since 2004, Savage’s Google bomb has regularly been the top search result for Santorum’s surname, leading to what commentators have dubbed “Santorum’s Google problem”.

            For Utmu’s sake, I won’t tell you what the new definition is, but it’s quite an appropriate and accurate description of Mr. Santorum.

  3. I just realized how my pre/post suicide comment could be taken. I didn’t mean just some random suicide picture! That would be kinda…insensitive. Specifically, I was thinking about Mayhem and the suicide of their vocalist in whatever year that was. It struck as being horrific, yet (possibly) intentionally humorous.

    Completely unrelated: I couldn’t remember which band, so I had to Google/Wikipedia it. On the Wikipedia page for Black metal, they have a section outlining the rivalry between “Norwegian black metal and Swedish death metal scenes” (Norwegian black metal and Swedish death metal scenes). Now that’s fucking hilarious!

    It’s like they’re trying to be Tupac and Biggie.

    • I like the Mayhem angle. But how do I get a “post” picture? Research will be necessary.

      I’ve read about that conflict between Norwegian black metal and Swedish death metal, but Tupac v Biggie is better than any comment about it I’ve ever seen. 🙂

      • According to Wikipedia, they used one of the photos as an album cover. But that might be a bit much.

        You could just take a band photo and put an X over the vocalist’s face.

  4. I check out The New Yorker from time to time…maybe that makes me a stuffy d-bag, but I also have phenomenal taste in music, as clearly evidenced by my patronage at NCS. As for the sub-heading…what about changing it every week or so, like MS does? This might sound like extra overhead for Islander, but I propose that the best comment of the past week be put up – thoughts?

    • Well, great minds do think alike (you see, I also read The New Yorker, but mainly because the movie reviews are so good) — I’ve been thinking about that rotating sub-head idea since Phro sent me the Big Jugs thing. And picking the week’s best comment would be a good way to do it. Now I just have to overcome my fear of monkeying with the site layout . . .

      • Instead of changing the actually the NCS image, why not just change the text right below it?
        “Extreme Metal and Other Stuff We Care About” could just change every week, that way you don’t have to worry about messing up the image and it looks pretty straightforward to change.

    • I have nothing against the New Yorker! It was just the only high class/intellectual magazine I could think of.

      So, no worries. You are neither stuffy nor a d-bag.

  5. I kind of think you make Big Jugs Monthly look like the New Yorker more than the other way around. Just sayin’.

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