The two-day NYC metal festival called SUCKFEST that’s being sponsored by our friends at Metal Sucks has caused an emotional war among my schizophrenic selves. On the one hand, the ugly green-eyed monster part of me is jealous that they’re pulling this off when the only tour we’ve sponsored to date is a figment of my imagination. On the other hand, my metal-blogger self is really proud that MS is able to pull of something like this. And on the third hand, the fanboy part of me is genuinely excited by the line-up that’s been announced so far — Municipal Waste and Cynic as the two headline acts, with The Red Chord, Obscura, and Rosetta on the bill as well — and 15 more bands yet to be announced.
Now, I’m having yet another internal warring conflict over this festival. Compared to the bad old days, when about 20 people read our site (most of whom were our institutionalized relatives), we’ve become more responsible. Usually (usually), we no longer try to steal other people’s thunder by “premiering” songs from unreleased albums without permission or tossing up unauthorized song downloads, and we try to maintain standards of high journalistic integrity, which means we now only make up about 50% of the news stories we report here.
But we’re not completely house-broken yet, and so I can’t resist the impulse to report a rumor that Today Is the Day and Magrudergrind are also going to be playing at the SUCKFEST on the first day (Nov. 4), headlined by Municipal Waste. I sure as fuck hope this is true, because those two bands are among my favorites. Today Is the Day is nothing short of legendary, and Magrudergrind may well be the heir-apparents to Pig Destroyer.
All wishful thinking aside, I do consider my source of this info to be reliable, or I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out to report this. So, with apologies to Metal Sucks, Today Is the Day, and Magrudergrind for a bit of thunder-stealing leakage, I’m goin’ with it. And if I’m wrong, well fuckit, it won’t be the first time.
Thunder-stealing leakage sounds like what I provided a certain lady with last night.
Oh shit. I’m still failing to recognize when I’m just setting you up with a straight line. But I think I’ve just found the next blog sub-header.
Yeah bro. You’re into that rack and bed in conjunction shit.
You’re crossin’ the line bro. That’s between me and my dominatrix.
My dominatrix thinks yours is a FUCKING WHORE.
Technically…I mean…any dominatrix that provides sexual gratification is…kinda, I mean in a good way, but…yah…a whore.
Welp, didn’t take long for this conversation to degenerate. I’m so proud!
I’m not gonna lie, I was totally looking for a thread to stick my dick in.
Or at least my balls.
I’m so glad we were able to satisfy your needs.
This is a good way to start my first day to school.
You said “satisfy.”
MY DOMINATRIX AND I HAVE SOMETHING TRULY SPECIAL!
Hey, I said in a good way!
You can have truly special things bought with truly good money.
Just look at my room of Thai ladyboy hookers.
For some reason, I thought of liposuction for women with fat thighs.
Way to totally steal my thunder.
Naw! I just meant that yours is better.
But now I’m envisioning the liposuction tube springing a leak and squirting thigh fat all over and then dirty doctors using it as lube for a crazy BDSM porno.
I should avoid early morning posting.
Hello there O_o
$50 says we just lost half our readership.
Who doesn’t love lipo-sex???
Even the octogods approve.
True, but we’re quickly replacing them with residents of institutions for the criminally insane.
I’m confused by the headliners… are Municipal Waste actually “big”?
The only people I know who like them are hardcore types who seem only to occasionally like the trendiest of metal bands, albeit with “ironic” deniability if they end up not being cool and underground anymore.
I’ve heard their name before, so I assumed they were pretty big.
Though now that I think about…I’m not really sure what kind of music they even play.
Is it like anti-Captain Planet music?
I guess I’d call it nu-thrash.
I don’t know how “big” Municipal Waste is in terms of popularity, or how their popularity compares to other bands on the line-up. I know I’m not nearly as wild about their music as I am about most of the other bands who’ve been announced so far. I suppose it’s possible that they were one of the early joiners of this festival, and got a “pole position” as a result. Or maybe they really are “bigger” than we think.
I hate Municipal Waste either way. Waste of music space if you ask me.