(I have no idea how to introduce this post. I’ll just tell you that Phro wrote it, and leave it at that.)
Forest Gump’s mother (apparently, according to legends that are older than time…or at least, possibly, Google) claimed that life is like a box of chocolates and you never know which one is full of roofies. (It’s all of them, if I gave you them. Seriously, go ahead, here, have one. The ol’ tentacledick ain’t gonna rub one out all by itself, you know. Time for you to get off the couch and contribute to society just like your pappy always wanted.)
But, you know, I’ve never been a fan of chocolates, so fuck you and your goddamn Valentine’s Day. (A side note: in Japan, on Valentine’s Day, only the girls give chocolate to the boys. A month later, the boys are supposed to return the favor. And a month after that, anyone who got nothing is supposed to go eat black noodles. I like to pretend it’s all a metaphor for tentacle rape, but I have no idea what black noodles have to do with tentacle rape. I’ll have to get back to you…)
I am, however, a fan of poop. (I can hear your gasps of surprise ALL THE WAY OVER HERE. Knock it off. You sound like mouth breathers orgasming.) Well, I also recently noticed that YouTube links have no identifying information in the link itself. So, if someone posts a link without telling you what it is, you literally have no idea until you click it. I’ve decided to use this to my advantage. (And yours as well!)
So, combining my love of poop and random videos, I give you: BOX O’ POOPS! (I know it’s not really in box shape or anything, but I’m not getting paid for this and I really suck with graphic design. No, wait, actually, I just suck AT life.)
So eat my chocolate hole, asswad.
Hah! I punned!
For our first poop taster, I give you something that is both infectious and possibly deadly.
For the next poop taster, I give you something tangential. (See if you can figure out the tangent!)
And next, I shall give you something to chill you out.
Well, now, how about something to make your little bits feel a bit littler?
Hmmm…how about something to make you feel old and curmudgeonly.
How about something romantic???
And finally, something to a bit intellectual and high brow to make you feel all smart.
Well, that concludes today’s round of Box O’ Poops. If you scatmunchers have enjoyed todays festivities, maybe I’ll do it again sometime.
Hehehehehehehe! Scatmuncher. You munch scat.