Here at NCS, we have an uncomfortable habit of forgetting our friends’ birthdays. But hey, we forget our own birthdays, too. So there’s that.
For example, we overlooked the fact (for the second year in a row), that November 21 was the anniversary of the first post at NO CLEAN SINGING. We are now two years and two days old. Still not potty-trained, but old enough to have discovered the fascination of our own genitals. So there’s that.
Our credibility as arbiters of taste and intelligent assessment of music is still highly suspect. However, this hasn’t stopped bands from asking us to listen to their music or prevented most metal labels from sending us albums to review. And over the last 30 days we’ve had 57,808 page views and 32,475 unique visitors from 131 different countries (only about half of whom are trying to interest us in receiving large cash transfers from the estates of dead Africans in exchange for our personal details). So there’s that.
Since our launch, we’ve published 1,498 posts (including this one) and received 14,406 comments (only about half of which are my own). We haven’t missed a day, publishing at least one post every day since we started, even on those many days (including today) when I was viciously hungover.
We’ve remained reasonably true to our founding principles: We still don’t run ads; we still don’t spend much time slagging bad bands or posting negative reviews (preferring to concentrate our time on music we can honestly recommend and not writing about the music that doesn’t impress us); and our news reporting has also been reasonably true. (more after the jump . . .)
Over time, we’ve devoted increasing amounts of space to Exceptions to the Rule, i.e., music that includes clean singing. I blame this on the other writers who inexplicably continue allowing us to post their pieces at NCS. I do my best to counterbalance their insurgency by focusing my own posts on really ugly, vicious, intestinally disruptive, reptile-brain music with vocals that strip paint from the walls and make ears bleed (and if any of the bands whose music I’ve reviewed are reading this, I mean this in the nicest possible way). So although we’ve broadened the scope of our musical coverage, and have confused the shit out of people who take the title of this blog literally, we still mainly concentrate on the kind of extreme metal that omits clean crooning. So there’s that.
(Andy, this means that I still don’t intend to re-name the site NO, CLEAN SINGING!)
I continue to have a shitload of fun with this blog. Yes, part of that is due to the continuing opportunity it gives me to use my favorite word, which begins with F and ends in UCK. But mainly, I have benefitted hugely from the chance to interact with bands, with our writers (both regular contributors and guests), and with the wonderful community of people who have chosen to spend some of their time each week visiting our site. I’m certainly not objective about this, but I also think our Comment sections are among the best in the metal segment of the web. And it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: Our readers are clearly the most intelligent metalheads on the planet. This can be objectively proven by the fact that they read NCS. So there’s that.
In closing, allow me to thank all of you for giving us a reason to forge ahead with the third year of NO CLEAN SINGING. We will continue to do our best to earn your continued attention, and to give you reasons to recommend us to your friends (or at least your enemies).
Now, please make a wish and blow out our candles, because this bit of birthday celebration is for you, too. And in lieu of a happy birthday song to accompany the blowing, I leave you with a bit of fucking Mayhem.
NO! CLEAN SINGING!
SINGING! NO CLEAN!
Happy Fucking Birthday to NCS and to you, Islander. This is is still my favoritest site on the intertrons. Phro is still one of the sickest fucks on the planet. But we love him anyway, in all his tentacled, pornographic glory. Andy is still our resident musical savant and The Mad Israeli, is, well, mad. You guys more often than not make my day and/or week.
Keep up the outstanding fucking work man. I will be here as long as you conitnue to fill these blog pages.
Thanks for those great words! You’ve been with us a long time, and I appreciate your loyalty and all your comments. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
Thanks. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving too.
I’m not a… wait… what…
Oooh…. shiny thing…
Less clean singing! More gratuitous tentacle rape! I mean…
This is such a coincidence — the first two bullet points in our long-range planning document for Year Three are “Less clean singing” and “More gratuitous tentacle rape”. The next two are “Sleep later” and “Fuck off more”.
Congrats Islander! Long live NCS!
This reminds me that in two days, DMB will turn 2 as well, which must mean we can’t be from the same mother, unless she went through a particularly long labor session.
Thanks for reminding me, although it’s likely I’ll still forget in two days time. I’m like that.
Thank you Niek! I will hold my own congratulations for you and instead leave a comment at DMB when you remember to post about the anniversary in 2 or 3 months.
Since we can’t seem to remember our own birthdays, maybe we really were separated at birth. My delivery was indeed a prolonged one, since my my body and my head were separate births. The head was quite small and passed quickly.
Happy birthday! As per your usual birthday wish, a one year subscription to Asspounding Tentacles and Noseimpaling Ladyboys has been renewed and will continue arriving weekly.
Uh . . . thanks Phro. (Did you forget my previous requests that these renewal notices be sent to my private e-mail address?!?)
I forgot in the same way the Fucktopus accepts my pleas to wait until the bleeding stops.
It’s not polite to make someone feel queasy on their birthday celebration.
Why were you expecting polite…here?!
You right. Silly me. Stuffed Fucktopus for Thanksgiving! Or maybe Fucktopus-stuffed Phro for Thanksgiving!
This is awesome! NCS has really made some nice accomplishments over the past two years, you should be proud, Islander, and everyone else who makes major contribtions to the site, Israel, Andy, Badwolf, Phro and anyone who I may have forgotten…
But the thanking shouldn’t end with you thanking us! Thank you, Islander, because without you we wouldn’t have the site to read in the first place!
Here’s to (at least) two more prosperous years of NCS!
Thanks for those good wishes — and for sticking with us so faithfully.
I hope someone blows those candles out soon; lorises probably aren’t so quick to get that particular job done and birthday cake covered in wax just isn’t all too appealing. Then again, if any of the lorises are pyros…
Oh, btw, I never knew your favorite word was firetruck. Learning can be so much fun!
Bwahahahahahaha! Firetruck. Excellent.
I don’t let the lorises near my cake. They leave grub goop on everything they touch.
Maybe you should get some bibs for them. How adorable would that be?
It would be really adorable if I could get some custom bibs with “Sperm Howitzer” right across the front. Or maybe “Meerkats Must Die”.
The age of tape trading and Fanzines is before my time, but I truly appreciate the kind of community this website represents. We’re able to share top shelf music that we might otherwise never heard of based on recomendations by fans and legit musicians alike. We can have serious discourse about metal but at the same time spout off like jackasses in the name of having a good time. Even though we’re anonymous through the internet, you stil get the unique perspectives of a certain individual; you can recognize a persons “real voice” in their writing.
I really think this site represents among the best of what the internet community has to offer. Hope you keep it up for many years to come. Keep Up The Metal.
Means a lot to read that man. It’s been great having you as part of this community. Stay safe, wherever you are.
Keep it up, you are doing a great job of bringing forth great music! I am turning to NCS more and more for music recommendations over other sites such as MetalSucks.
Thanks for that Jason. I hope you’ll continue to dig what we recommend. I have high hopes for tomorrow’s first feature — not like anything I’ve ever heard before, and mighty sweet.
I love all you glorious lunatic bastards. Thank you, Islander, for giving us a home.
^ I second this. Without islander we would be doomed forever to wander the internet on our hands, so that our frowns looked like smiles.
Thank you gents. It is not good to be homeless. It is not always good to be upside-down, though sometimes having all the blood rush to my head enables me to think, briefly.
Happy Fucking Birthday NCS! And thank you Islander for creating the source of my everyday enjoyment and disgust, on occasions!
Thank you Mr. Grinder sir! Grind on!
Happy birthday NCS! I can only echo the sentiments already expressed here by saying great site, great writing, great contributors, great community and great music.
Thank you byrd! Happy Turkey Day to you and yours.
NO SPRING CLEANING!
happy birthday ncs! thank you very much for introducing me to countless new and amazing bands!
Good one! And not cleaning in the spring, or at any other time, is a very appealing concept. Thanks for sticking with us Vinter.
Um, I’d rethink that. Consider the army of lorises. Or whatever you might leave behind when you leave the cube pool or get done playing in the NCS Vortex. Someone should clean and sanitize the complex every once in a while, else you may create some new disease for the likes for Incarnia or Shades Of Dusk to write song about.
Well, that’s a fair point. Maybe I will attempt to train the lorises to clean. However, I have not yet found the right combination of rewards and punishments to motivate them. I think they’re still disappointed that the money from Africa never arrived and therefore I don’t have the wherewithal to get Fleshgod Apocalpse to move to our island and become our official permanent house band.
Even if the negotiations with FA aren’t working out as well as you’d like – that bag of gold dust would probably help to have right now – I wouldn’t rule out trying to buy Canopy’s services either. FA would need a break every once in a while. Additionally, you may want to consider a funeral, doom and/or sludge band to give the lorises something to get semi-motivated to.
Another good idea — the lorises entire approach to life is too slow for the kind of death metal I like. Funeral doom would be more in their sweet spot, I would guess. Also, you may have noticed from a previous post that Fred Huldtgren from Canopy is in town visiting. Great guy. If the gold dust would just get the fuck here, I could open negotiations with him in person.
Ha. Love it.
Happy Belated Birthday, NCS! Thank you for being my favorite metal blogthing, for posting awesome metal news and music, and having an awesome-as-hell community (related to that, thank you for tolerating and engaging with my comments of oftentimes questionable merit).
Cheers, Islander, and everyone else who makes this site work. Keep truckin’.
P.S. MAYYYYYYYHEEEEEMMMM!!! That is all.
MAYYYYYYYHEEEEEMMMM!!! Yes yes yes. (Thanks dude.)
Birthdays of Happiness! Since I’m buried by time and dust my well wishes are not really late.
Thank you sir. As for the dust, NO SPRING CLEANING!
Happy fucking birthday!
Here’s a birthday song in the spirit of NCS. “Curtis You Birthday (FYD)” by Krut Zeppelin (aka Iron Thrones). http://download.ironthrones.com/track/curtis-you-birthday-fyd
How sweet! A tender ballad! A Metal Bandcamp for every joyous occasion.
These lyrics may represent the pinnacle of 2,000 years of western civilization.
Wishing you a joyous anniversary of your date of birth!
Thank you sir!
Hey, thank you for sharing this.
How could i wish my brother on her birthday with a beautiful greeting?