Mar 142012


We already published TheMadIsraeli’s review of Napalm Death’s Utilitarian album, but it got trashed on Teufel’s Tomb for not catching the incorporation of sound styles from the band’s Diatribes album, so we’re pretending that review never happened. Instead, we’re going with Phro’s review.


  1. Welp.

    That’s it.

    My reviews are shit compared to Phro’s. Time to quit.

    • I like your reviews because you’re a musician. You catch shit that I, as a non-musician, would never catch. I like everyone’s reviews on this site, because everyone notices and does a good job of pointing the special stuff that I usually completely don’t even know exist.

      I fill that special niche of poopy jokes.

    • Don’t quit. Despite the sophistication of Phro’s critique, he obviously missed the Diatribe references, too.

  2. Also I don’t know what in the fuck that guy is on about. There is absolutely nothing on this album to communicate a Diatribes vibe whatsoever.

    • I honestly am not familiar at all with Diatribes (I’ve really only listened a smattering of their early songs and The Code Is Red…), so I don’t know if he’s right or not…but the fact that no one else in the world of metal seems to have noticed it seems suspect to me.

      Also, Teufel is a shit starter, which is why I love his reviews. Particularly of albums he hates.

  3. Phro, it’s time to start your own video reviewing channel on YouTube. Y’know, get a director’s account on YouTube or something.

  4. I’m glad to see that NCS has maintained its professional standard of quality journalism in my absence.

  5. Phro needs to run a comb thru that “bird’s nest”

    • I was wondering how he got his hair to go from a droopy afro to a normal one. How does that go over in Japan?

      • I actually filmed (if it can be called that) the phroy part first and then combed my hair down.

        If I comb my hair straight down right after a shower, it’s just super curly, but not phroy.

        In Japan, everyone asks me if I have a perm. Which is pretty annoying.

    • Hahahahahaha! You have no idea how much I heard that as a wayward youth….ahhh…. The horrible old days.

  6. I enjoyed that waaayyy too much!!!
    And thats one of the pimpinest JewFros I’ve seen in years.

    • Thank you and thank you! It has a mind of it’s own. I’m pretty sure it’s trying to eat my brain for nutrient.

  7. You couldn’t stay up in a pit where the only other thing was your WARDROBE DOOR?!

    One could make the excuse of being tripped by one’s stuffed toy jerboa which can at least move. But you have no excuse – your wardrobe door was just standing there minding its own business!

  8. How has no one mentioned that you’re a dead-ringer for 90s-era Jerry Seinfeld?

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