Apr 192012

When the first edition of 70,000 Tons of Metal was announced back in January 2010, I had loads of fun imagining all the things that could go wrong with the concept of putting 40 metal bands, 2,000 metalhead fans, and 24/7 bars on a boat. Sailing on an actual ocean. With waves and shit. It made great fodder for multiple posts, starting with this one.

I had to eat my words (which I did, with a side of fried chicken) when the damn thing turned out to be a real success by all accounts. And then they did it again, and that seemed to turn out well, too. No one drowned, there weren’t any cases of fatal alcohol poisoning, and only twenty-three children were conceived out of wedlock.

Now there’s another metal ocean excursion on the horizon called Barge To Hell. As in the case of the two 70,000 Tons of Metal cruises, the promoters are doing the slow roll-out of the band line-up — but it’s now gotten so good that I can’t ignore it any longer, especially with the recent addition of Belphegor, Kampfar, Soilwork, and Solstafir. With only half of the 40 bands announced for this excursion, it already seems like a compelling event for those fans with the time and the money to jump on board.

The organizers promise that every band will play two live shows on one of three different on-board stages — including an open air stage on the pool deck (so I guess drowning is still a possibility). The Barge To Hell is scheduled to set sail on Monday, December 3, 2012, from Miami, Florida for a trip to Nassau, Bahamas, returning on December 7, 2012.

Ticket prices start at US$666 plus US$289 taxes and fees per person and meals are included. Note: the price does NOT include alcoholic beverages, so budget accordingly. Visit http://bargetohell.com/home.htm for more information. Now, here are the 20 bans whose appearances have been confirmed so far:


  18 Responses to “WATER SPORTS”

  1. Both 70K cruises were brilliant and I just received my pre public booking code last night to give them my money this Friday.

    If anyone has any questions about this event, let me know. And if you’re on the fence about going, don’t me, it will be the best week of your life if you got 1K to drop.

  2. Links busted…heres the Barge From Hell homepage: http://bargetohell.com/home.htm

    So let me get this straight..I have to drop $1000 to get a ticket, but if I dont have a travel companion I have to add an additional $100 for them to partner me with someone else.

    Nice racket there…Thats like when the MVA charges me $20 to print out a piece of paper and mail it to me

    …I still want to go on this trip though

    • No. What is means is that all prices are based on double occupancy at a minimum. So if you don’t have anyone to go with or can’t find anyone, then they will do the work for you and book you in a cabin with someone else.

      The first year I had no one to go with, so I just asked around at the official message boards and found a roommate, some guy from Minnesota, turned out to be a nice guy. After that I knew so many people from the cruise, that the 2nd year I had as many choices for roomates as I wanted. Same goes for Barge to Hell.

      And MOST people who don’t have someone to go with end up finding another person in the same situation to avoid the extra fee.

      That make sense ?

      • Yeah, I get that they’ll team you up with someone (they want a full boat obviously). Its just that they’ll charge you another $100 over and above your ticket price, to do it..unless Im reading that wrong.

        Thats the part thats making me laugh

        • YES, if you ask them to do the work of teaming you with someone they charge you. That’s why you can just do it yourself and find another single person and avoid the fee.

          I personally know hundreds of people who went on the cruise and none of them paid the fee, they all teamed up with others.

          • Hence my line about paying the MVA $20 to print out a piece of paper and mail it to me :)…Typical business charging you for something stupid that probably takes 30 seconds to actually do

            • ..on your own I mean

              • I don’t disagree with that. And because I never had to worry about that, I’m not really butt hurt over it though.

                If you need help finding a roommate, hit me up on FB and I’ll see if I can find some people for ya

                • Not sure If I’ll be able to make it this year, but will definitely keep the offer in mind if things change…thanks!

    • You’re misunderstanding the point of the $100 charge: it’s to buy insurance for whoever they pick as YOUR roommate.

      • Now I feel undervalued

        • That’s only because they haven’t told the insurance company that YOU are the other roommate. Once that happens, the premium will increase dramatically because it will have to cover not only heart failure, stroke, unwanted sexual attention, and psychic derangement, but also death by fire.

  3. I went in January. It was fucking amazing. Words can’t describe how awesome it was. Needless to say I’m going again this December – I will sell a kidney if need be. Cannot recommend enough.

  4. What I want to know is if the cruise ship actually looks like it does on the poster.

    • Shit. You think maybe it won’t? That would be a real let down. 🙂 But maybe they’ll have scrap metal and welding gear on board and the passengers can re-make the ship to look like this if it turns out to be some kind of boring Princess boat.

  5. Oh yeah, pumped for this. Went on the maiden voyage and it was the best vacation of my life. Missed this Jaunuary due to….obligations, but will do everything I can to get time out for this. Highly Recommended!

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