I fell off a wall last night. Intoxicants may have had something to do with it, though native idiocy could explain the whole thing, too.
My wife is out of town. I had been out carousing. Turns out I had locked myself out of my house, and had left the house key inside. I had also forgotten to turn on any lights, and where I live, it’s pretty close to pitch black when the lights are off. I also had no flashlight in my car (yeah, I’m that kind of dumbass). I was trying to find my way around to the back of the house to a place where a spare key is hidden. This involved walking along the edge of a low wall above a shallow ravine.
I thought I’d passed the end of the ravine and could safely turn left to walk down a small slope to where the key is hidden, but like I said, I couldn’t see shit. I took a step, unexpectedly went down about four feet, and landed awkwardly. Skinned up my left leg and twisted my ankle pretty good.
I lay there for a few minutes whimpering, with the sounds of the lorises’ mewling laughter ringing in my head. After I made it inside (which took a while), I probably should have tried to do something about the ankle, something like putting ice on it or wrapping it in an Ace bandage, or cutting off my foot right above the sprain. But I was kinda fucked up and I wanted to get off of it fast, so I pounded some Advil and went to bed.
This morning it didn’t look too bad at first, but it hurts like a motherfucker and it didn’t take many minutes of hobbling around for it to start swelling up. At least it’s not black and blue. Yet.
I am so lame, on so many levels. This is what happens when my brain leaves town. Fortunately, she’ll be back tomorrow night. So I’ve got 36 hours to cook up a story about how this happened. You got any ideas?
Anyway, long story short, I didn’t write anything for NCS last night. I haven’t written anything this morning except this confession of stupidity and pain. I’m sure I’ll get something metal done in the next hour or two. This definitely isn’t metal.