Jan 282013

You know, it’s about fuckin’ time that someone captured in music the inner pain, sorrow, degradation, and wistfulness that clowns experience every goddamn day. God bless those Cephalic Carnage brethren Nick Schendzielos and Brian Hopp for doing that in this new video.

I mean, let’s be brutally honest: no one likes clowns except other clowns. Little kids may pretend to like them, but deep down inside they’re either scared shitless or experiencing an inarticulate sense that something is not right. And the rest of us KNOW that something is not right.

This widespread prejudice has cost the lives of hundreds of thousands of clowns. It is the hidden shame of our great Nation. And the number would be orders of magnitude higher except for the fact that juggalos travel in packs. But (except in the case of juggalos), this mixture of fear and loathing that everyone feels about clowns is heartless and insensitive.

If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? If you poison them, do they not die? Beneath the face paint and the big red noses, are they not human, just as you and I? Actually, I don’t know, because I wouldn’t get close enough to touch one of them if my fuckin’ life depended on it.

But fortunately, I don’t have to get that close, because Nick Schendzielos, in his “Sad Clown” persona, has so masterfully embodied the inner humanity of clowns in his new single, “Mullet Clown Bass Gun Control”. And Brian Hopp as the Black Metal Clown has made a vital contribution to the effort with his riveting guitar solo.

We owe both of these men a debt of gratitude for creating a legitimate clown civil rights anthem, the first of its kind and the last, because there is now no need for another.


(thanks to TheMadIsraeli for the tip about this video)


  1. That was pretty cool. It could’ve used Captain Spaulding running around murdering some mother fuckers though.

  2. Feels like it takes place in the world of Shakes the Clown, one of the best movies ever made… about clowns. Or mimes, for that matter.

    I expected Black Metal Clown to be a letdown. My expectations were sorely mistaken. He rules.

    Great editorial too. I laughed aloud.

  3. For a joke song, that is a seriously creative little ditty. I would buy a single of that. No joke.

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