(Andy Synn, who seems to have become a man of the cloth when we weren’t paying attention, herewith begins a new series…)
Rejoice my brethren and sistren, for today marks the inauguration of a new feature here at NoCleanSinging, that of Father Synn’s Metal Confessional!
For a long time now I have felt your pain brothers and sisters. How you suffer in silence. How you long for absolution. I know of the dark secrets that you keep locked up deep inside, and I step forwards now offering a balm to your soul and a reprieve from your torment.
I ask you to come forth and confess your sins before the congregation. Speak to us of your fears, your hidden longings, and your secret shame… all shall be heard, and all shall be forgiven!
But I know that it’s not as easy as that. You need to be shown the way. So I will lead by example, in the hope that you too will be inspired to confess and be absolved!
Here then, is a litany of my sins:
1. I only own two Slayer albums. And I can’t remember the last time I listened to either of them.
2. As much as I love Black Metal… I can’t stand Mayhem.
3. I listen to Starve for the Devil by Arsis more than I listen to We Are The Nightmare.
4. I think that Ne Obliviscaris are great… but also a little over-rated. And that Citadel gets far too lost up its own prog-hole.
5. I don’t like Manowar.
Now it’s your turn. Who will be brave enough to step forward and bare their soul in search of forgiveness?
EDITOR’S NOTE TO READERS: Also please show us on the doll where Father Synn touched you.