Jun 142015


(Father Synn returns after a brief hiatus, ready once again to listen to your filthy confessions after first making his own, and then to inflict the penance.)

Truly my shame is deep my brethren. It has been two weeks now since our last confessional together. And without my firm hand (piercing eyes, flowing leonine mane, washboard abs… sorry, getting sidetracked there) to guide you, who knows what terrible acts you may have committed?

Dear god, what have I wrought?

So I beg you… come forth and let me cleanse you, let me wash you, let me bathe you and…




1. I thought that At War With Reality was a better comeback album than Surgical Steel.

2. I wish John Bush was still the singer of Anthrax.

3. I didn’t get into Gorguts until last year.

4. I consider The Dead Eye to be the best album The Haunted ever produced.

5. I really like Ilud Divinum Insanus by Morbid Angel… no, only kidding. I’m not that far gone.



  1. I have been traversing the sites of desolation for long gone times, yet none hath gave my soul this death-like calmness like thine. Forgive me father, for I may hath sinned in damnable fringes.

    1. I like to write formally because I wish to out-kvtl people.

    2. I dislike Brutal Death Metal.

    3. Although I do like shades of black in my metal (Frostheim, Immortal, A Hill to Die Upon), I dislike black metal.

    4. I have the blasphemous habit of not listening to all songs in a metal album.

    5. I think my English sucks. I’m brazilian, so….

  2. 1. I unwillingly know just about every popular song on mainstream radio and the words to them because I have to hear it for 12 hours each day I work.

    2. I also didn’t get into Gorguts until last year.

    3. Aside from a very small list of exceptions, I don’t think electronics/industrial and metal should mix.

    4. I don’t care for split releases or EPs very much.

    No mention of Manowar this week. I am surprised, Father.

    • There is more to life than hating Manowar my child.

      That being said, expect normal service to be resumed next week.

  3. Forgive me father, for I have been harboring sins most blasphemous.
    1.I listen to more j-rock/visual kei than I’d like to admit/should be allowed.
    2.Longtime Emperor fan, still have not listened to ‘In the Nightside Eclipse’.
    3.Same case as above for Morbid Angel’s ‘Blessed are the Sick’
    4. It would be fantastic if John Bush rejoined Anthrax, wouldn’t it?
    5. I find hummingbirds to be fascinating little bundles of ADD and cuteness.

  4. Father, thou revelations inspire me to confess, as always.

    1. I did not like both Surgical Steel as at War with Reality.

    2. I consider the Dead Eye to be the second-greatest the Haunted album – but their comeback last year is my all time favorite. Which is strange, since I don’t like any of the pre-Dolving albums.

    3. I think Paradise Lost’s return-to-form (so their just-released Plague Within) is better than Lost Paradise, Gothic, Shades of God, and Icon combined.

    4. Despite my undying love for the band, I thought Dark Tranquillity’s Construct was mediocre at best.

    5. This summer I prioritize going with friends to a mainstream, conformist sell-out festival rather than choosing one of Europe’s many very fine metal festivals.

    • 4. You are entirely correct in that assessment.

      5. What are these “friends” you speak of?


      • Thou is entirely correct. I will commence and remove all friends and acquaintances from my life that are not kvlt at once!

  5. Agreed on 1 and 3. Also, I have no qualms about missing that Aborted tour a week or so back, though I am mad that I forgot about the Steel Panther concert a couple days ago.

    • Forgetting about Steel Panther is a great thing in and of itself.

      We all wish we could forget them so easily.

  6. I’m a bad sinner, I tried to escape from confessional in the last few weeks, what punishment I deserve, I will find salvation if I confess?

    1. I think the same about At The Gtes.

    2. I don’t like Anthrax.

    3. Illud Divinum Insanus is awful.

    4. I’m in love affair with Death Metal since 2003 but I didn’t get into Gorguts until five years ago.

    • I feel you must try harder with your sins my son. Surely there are darker, more nefarious deeds in your past than this?

      • I’m late with the answer, well, father, what is really wicked in my behaviour, what is truly darker above all my bad sins is that I like some songs by Slipknot like “Psychosocial” and “The Negative One” but seriously I will never understand the hype around them. I think about this site, all the reviews by anyone involved here, the music that you guys share with your readers, are they healthy for the metal music in itself? I don’t wanna be tedious but I’m a thoughtful person, sometimes I think that certain bands ruins the candor of the genre that we love!

  7. Dear, Dark Lord, forgive us for our trespasses.

    1. I love many anime OST’s, but I hate Babymetal with a passion.
    2. I think US black metal has surpassed European(except France cuz Blut Aus Nord).
    3. All Thrash is overrated. Many sub-genres of metal use elements of Thrash and do it better than the “Big 4”.
    4. Bass guitar> Guitar. Bands with useless/inaudible bassists automatically lose my interest.
    5. The last 15 years of metal have absolutely destroyed the previous 15 years of metal.

    • “5. The last 15 years of metal have absolutely destroyed the previous 15 years of metal.”


      • Opinions and assholes and such, but I’d choose the 2000’s releases from Cattle Decapitation, Artificial Brain, Krallice, Beyond Creation, Ne Obliviscaris, Fallujah, Panopticon, Dodecahedron, Origin, and Ash Borer over the majority of releases from the 80’s and 90’s. That’s not to say I have anything against the Bolt Thrower’s or Ulver’s of old, just personal preference. Forgive me, Dark Father.

        • The majority of the releases from the 80’s and 90’s are responsible for inventing the genres for every band you just listed. Theres a ton of music in the last 15 years that I greatly enjoy, but the vast majority are simply refining a sound off of the backs of the older bands.

          Enjoy what you want, but there’s a reason so many albums from the 80’s and 90’s are considered influential classics..something that cant be said about the last 15 years

          • “The majority of the releases from the 80′s and 90′s are responsible for inventing the genres for every band you just listed.”
            Agreed 100%. However, I think the genres have matured over the years in musicianship, production, arrangement, and theme/concept. Earlier releases were the building blocks of recent music, but (IMO) not the pinnacle. 1 groundbreaking album from the 80’s/90’s inspired 10 great(arguably better) albums from the 2000s. The first guy to crack an egg was a legend, but the first guy to fry an egg was a god. I think we’re at the fried egg stage. With that said, many of my favorite albums come from the 80s and 90s: None So Vile, Tomb of the Mutilated, Piece of Time, Obsucra,Severed Survival, ect. Those albums inspired entire genres of bands that further innovate those concepts(IMO, IMO, IMO)

            • The last 15 years have also seen melodeath beaten into the ground, the rise of metalcore, which is just dumbed down melodeath, the rise of deathcore, which is dumbed down brutal death, the rise of Djent, which is just dumbed down Meshuggah, the rise and fall of re-thrash, and the rise and fall of old school death metal

              …innovative is not the word I would use to describe the last 15 years of metal (no matter how much I personally love old school death metal)

              • u wot m8? No one has mentioned or gives a shit about melodeath, deathcore, or Djent. Black metal and Techdeath, on the other hand, have had amazing releases within the past 15 years. I guess I can’t expect much coming from a guy who loves Power Meta(yuck)l but hates Gorguts 😛

                • You said metal in the last 15 years has been better than the previous 15 years and then went on to talk about how innovative the bands in the last 15 years have been…pretty sure Melodeath, Deathcore, and Djent all fall into that timeline

                  …I guess what you really meant “Certain bands have been innovative in the last 15 years” to which I d say “Duh” 🙂

    • I love a host of US Black Metal bands – Woe, Abigail Williams, Panopticon (though I am only a relatively recent convert, truth be told), Nightbringer, Leviathan, LSOD, Imperial Triumphant, The Howling Wind, Averse Sefira, etc – though I think a lot of it does fall prey to a bit of a catch-22 situation, in that it either comes across as sounding too self-consciously “American” (sticking too closely the tropes of the American “style” of BM, as it were), or inauthentically aping the broad strokes of the European “style”.

      That being said, it also lacks the sort of luminaries that Europe has (for obvious reasons), and also the sheer variety that European Black Metal displays – though that’s largely because the idea of “Europe” as one homogeneous musical/cultural entity is woefully mistaken.

      So personally I don’t feel like comparing the two really helps much.

      I will say though that all my favourite BM bands, regardless of where they come from, understand that having a good bass player (and bass tone) can make or break your band.

      • European Black Metal, more specifically Norwegian, will always be far superior to what the US is putting out. Abigail Williams is a terrible band who only wrote one good song ever. Also, Meshuggah still isn’t good.

  8. 1) Ive seen Gorguts live and I still do not care about Gorguts
    2) I’ll take the Teutonic Three over the Big Four any day
    3) I enjoy Power metal and Im good with that
    4) I think At War with Reality was twenty years too late
    5) I enjoy Amon Amarth greatly, but I want another 4 years to go by before they release a new album

    • Less is certainly more in the case of AA these days.

      Just to be safe though, I recommend giving yourself a thorough flogging.

  9. 1. Would it be against the spirit of the confessional for me to ask slamtastic for j-rock/visual kei recommendations? Because I just discovered this stuff last week and I have been spending more time on youtube trying to figure it out than I would like to admit.
    2. In spite of how much I’m digging The Plague Within, and without casting any aspersions on Gothic or Draconian Times, I often think that my favorite Paradise Lost album is Symbol of Life.

    • My personal favorite J-Rock/metal band is by far Dir En Grey. Their earlier music was Visual-kei, but they evolved into a more avant-garde/death metal/prog/I don’t even know phase and have been full steam ahead since then. They ahve a lot of great albums, but Uroboros is my personal favorite.

    • I’ve been hopelessly addicted to ling tosite sigure lately. Sex virgin killer’s debut album was pretty great. Also been enjoying Scandal, Stereopony, Asian Kung fu Generation, Sex Machineguns (Made in Japan is my personal favorite), and been just getting into 9mm Parabellum Bullet’s stuff. Doesn’t really tie into these genre’s (or any genre really), but I’ll throw Melt-Banana out there too.

      Sin #6: I recommended jrock/visual kei to stumbling in the dark.

  10. 1. I went to MDF XV and didn’t buy a single t shirt.
    2. I walked out on Portal.
    3. I really like the new Europe album. (It’s good!)
    4. My given name is Christian. (This is not really a sin, I know.)

    • ‘Tis fortunate then that the internet grants you an opportunity to order whatever shirt/s you might want!

      Or, so I’ve heard. Not that a man of the cloth such as myself ever enters the den of filth and depravity that is the internet.

  11. I have only recently tried to properly access the realm of Brutal Death Metal and so far the only band i enjoy out of the bands i listened to is Wormed. (Probably due to the fact i like really alien-sounding or alien-themed metal)

    I got into Gorguts roughly a year and a half ago, since i heard the song “An Ocean of Wisdom” that featured on Devin Townsend’s Ziltoid Radio series. Strangest metal song i’d ever heard…
    I love Coloured Sands but i’ve still yet to explore their previous albums.

  12. 1. I think the new Butcher Babies single is a decent song.
    2. I keep listening to the latest Slipknot album on youtube thinking “maybe it’s a great album if i just give it another chance”. and i feel stupid for thinking that every single time. but then i do it again.
    3. i didn’t know Malevolent Creation where a bunch of racist assholes until last week. I had to throw all their albums in the trash.
    4. I don’t enjoy bluegrass/banjo/harp/stand-up-bass covers of metal songs. at all. not even a tiny bit.
    5. i bought the EZDrummer software a couple years ago and i haven’t used it in any of my songs. because it sucks.

    • I”m with you on #2. I can’t believe how sheit the album is – almost as much as I can’t believe how much I WANT to like the album :'(

    • Number 1 is borderline unforgivable my son. It’s a song so bad that it’s not even “so bad it’s good”. It’s essentially like walking past a pile of last night’s dried up vomit. It’s unpleasant still, but doesn’t have the power even to inspire any sort of major reaction. It’s just blandly unpleasant and forgettable.

      I’m pretty sure Godhead would have rejected it for being too tired and played out.

      Also, they still have really crappy, generic screaming voices.

  13. I enjoy Foreign Beggars.

  14. I’ll happily admit… I’m quite a fan of Bush too 😉

  15. Today’s confessions are themed.

    1. I find doom metal boring. If I scrolled through my library I could probably find something I like with “doom elements,” but there’s not a single straightforward doom act that I like.
    2. The only thing worse than doom is drone.
    3. I drove 3+ hours to see Cormorant play in Austin and then left before the headliners even came on. The headliners: Oregon doom metal band Yob.
    4. I associate heaviness with aggression and speed. I find most hardcore bands to be “heavier” than most metal bands, and most doom metal doesn’t strike me as heavy at all. For example, in my mind, Converge is a heavier band than Sun O))). But then, in my mind, Periphery is a heavier band than Sun O))) and most doom/drone bands.

    • Curious, which styles of doom are we talking about…I mean, do you find death/doom bands like Hooded Menace and Druid Lord boring?

  16. 1. I’m embarrassed to admit I like metal in public spaces
    2. I typically enjoy music made by metal artists when they don’t play metal more than when they do.
    3. I’m only familiar with John Milton era Paradise Lost
    4. There’s just not enough Satan in modern metal. Up The Satan Punx.
    5. Chelsea Wolfe’s newest album sounds more promising than any metal release I can think of.

  17. Forgive me, AndySynn, for I have sinned.

    1) I like emo. Listen to “Frame and Canvas” by Braid and tell me that isn’t a perfect fucking album.

    2) I don’t like thrash unless the band is a self-referential joke or old Metallica/Megadeth

    3) The more a band explains their intent, the less I find myself caring. If the music is good enough and the band keeps their thematics in mind when composing, it should speak for itself.

    4) Throwback doom and super goaty war metal should both go away for a while.

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