Feb 042010

A couple days ago we posted a brilliant idea for saving a troubled business venture that planned to turn The Norwegian Star cruise ship into a floating hotel for the B.C. Winter Olympics:  Drop the nightly room price to the cost of a decent metal show ($20), keep the bars open 24-7, change the entertainment to non-stop live metal, and bill it as “The Immovable Fuck-the-Olympics Metal Cruise.”

Well, those fuckheads promoting the floating hotel idea at “Newwest Special Projects” just wouldn’t listen.  From The New York Times, dateline February 2:

Vancouver’s Floating Hotel Pulls the Plug

Hundreds of visitors to the Olympic games in Vancouver are scrambling to find alternative accommodations following the last minute cancellation of a plan to use a cruise ship as a floating hotel.

Newwest Special Projects, a subsidiary of a travel agency based in Edmonton, Alberta, said in a statement late Tuesday that it has abandoned its much publicized plan, “due to slower than expected sales along with expenses associated with the charter that were higher than anticipated.” . . .

Exactly how many people are affected is not clear. Last year, Newwest said that the ship, the Norwegian Star, has 1,119 staterooms which it hoped to fill with 8,960 guests over the run of the Games. Some Canadian news reports indicated that about 1,000 people had made bookings. . . . The Toronto Star reported on Wednesday that the disappointed include 11 seriously ill children who were booked into the hotel by Make A Wish foundations in the United States, Canada and Australia. . . .

Because of a lack of space at Vancouver’s cruise ship terminal, the plan was to dock the Norwegian Star at a commercial port across the Burrard Inlet in suburban North Vancouver, otherwise best known for holding large, yellow piles of sulfur.

We have no doubt that some really astute business whiz could have found a few flaws in our proposal for converting the floating-hotel-thing into an immovable extreme metal show. But really, how could it have been any worse than this reality? Docking the ship at a port best known for storing big piles of sulfur? Stranding 11 seriously ill children?

All together now, repeat after me.  If we all say it at the same time and say it really loud, maybe the geniuses at Newwest Special Projects will hear us:


Feb 022010

Yesterday we imagined the questions we’ll be asking when that disaster-waiting-to-happen, the 70,000 Tons of Metal Cruise, returns to port in late January 2011. And then what should greet our bloodshot eyes in this morning’s Seattle Times but this story, excerpted as follows:

Plan to use cruise ship as Olympics hotel hits rough water

Despite sharply cutting prices, a Canadian tour company has been unable to entice customers to a cruise ship it planned to used as a floating hotel during the Winter Olympics, and is scrambling to keep the idea afloat.

Meanwhile, customers who already have booked rooms on the Norwegian Star are uncertain whether they’ll need to look for other hard-to-find lodging in Vancouver. . . . A statement released by Newwest Special Projects said, “Our sales have not been what we had hoped for and our expenses have increased beyond what we ever expected.” . . .

Rates aboard the 1,100-room ship, once planned to top $1,000 U.S. a night, dropped to $500 last fall and, as of Monday, were listed on the company’s Web site as low as $275 a night, including meals and onboard entertainment. . . . One of Newwest’s investors in Alberta, Abe Neufeld, told the CBC that negotiations over the ship’s contracts are “tense” and a “tough struggle,” but he remained hopeful the project would go ahead.

Those fuckheads at “Newwest Special Projects” didn’t ask our advice, but we’re giving it anyway: Drop the nightly room price to the cost of a decent metal show ($20), keep the bars open 24-7, change the entertainment to non-stop live metal, and bill it as “The Immovable Fuck-the-Olympics Metal Cruise.” Why does this make sense? And why is it a big improvement over the 70,000 Tons of Metal Tour? Read on after the jump . . . Continue reading »