Jun 082010

Hey, are you like us? Do you maintain good personal hygiene by bathing and changing your underwear once a week, whether you need to or not, and religiously clipping your toenails in every month that begins with an F? Do you maintain a daily exercise regimen by walking briskly to the bathroom (even when your bladder isn’t about to explode) and carrying those six-packs in from the car by yourself?

Do you limit your TV-viewing and game play to no more than 8 hours a day? Do you stay current on world events by reading Blabbermouth? If you have pets, do you care enough to feed and water them even before they start howling in misery?

In other words, do you do those little things we do to here at NCS to prove to the world that you weren’t raised in some godforsaken, no-neck trailer park, even if you really were?

Well, brothers and sisters, it’s time to change your fucking priorities, at least temporarily.  (more after the jump . . .)

Postpone that bathing shit, at least until your neighbors call the police. Slip into some adult diapers so you can void yourselves without ever leaving your couches, and stick a case of cold ones into a cooler at your feet. Scoop up a big batch of roadkill and leave it in the corner for your pets to nosh on so you don’t have to fuck with feeding them. As for water, there’s plenty in the toilet.

In other words, create more uninterrupted time for what really fucking matters — listening to metal. And why? Because today, record labels have apparently coordinated among themselves to launch a blitzkrieg on your skull, disgorging one of the biggest batches of hot-shit releases we’ve seen in months.  

We told you it was coming, and now the day has arrived: June 8. Here’s a list of the releases out today that we’re particularly interested in hearing. We’ve already done advance reviews for a few of these babies, but we’ve got lots of listening ahead. Just need to pick up a bunch of them adult diapers and we’ll be good to go.

Circle Of Dead Children (Psalm of the Grand Destroyer) Willowtip Records

Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest Fire (Songs of Ill Hope and Desperation) Prosthetic Records

Fleshgod Apocalypse (Mafia) Willowtip Records

Heaven Shall Burn (Invictus) Century Media Records

I Declare War (Malevolence)  Artery Recordings

Keep Of Kalessin (Reptilian) Nuclear Blast Records

Kingdom Of Sorrow (Behind The Blackest Tears) Relapse Records

Leng Tch’e (Hypomanic) Season Of Mist

Mychildren Mybride (Lost Boy) Solid State Records

Nachtmystium (Addicts: Black Meddle Part 2) Century Media Records

Necronomicon (The Return of the Witch) Napalm Records

Nevermore (The Obsidian Conspiracy) Century Media Records

The Funeral Pyre (Vultures At Dawn) Prosthetic Records

The Ghost Inside (Returners) Mediaskare Records

The Haunted (Roadkill: On the Road With the Haunted (CD/DVD)) Century Media Records

Thulcandra (Fallen Angels Dominion) Napalm Records

Watain (Lawless Darkness) Season Of Mist

Whitechapel (A New Era of Corruption) Metal Blade Records

Yakuza (Of Seismic Consequence) Profound Lore Records

Oh shit! We nearly forgot. Attack! Attack! also has a new album out today.

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