Aug 112010

When we first heard about The 70,000 TONS OF METAL cruise way back in February, all we could think about was what could go comically wrong. Really, just think about the concept: 40 metal bands and 2,000 metalheads sailing around the Caribbean with non-stop performances, bars that stay open all night, and a stop at the Mexican island of Cozumel, where the tequila flows like water.

So of course, assholes that we are, we immediately started making fun of the idea — imagining in detail all the ass-ripping things that could go wrong. That was the subject of our first post about the cruise (here). That was in February, when only six bands had signed up to play for this floating festival.

We wrote an update post about this thing in late May, still sorta making fun, but also starting to imagine the things about this idea that could — we emphasize could — turn out to be awesome.  By that point, 18 bands had signed on to play.

Well, this morning we got a press release from the organizers announcing the latest edition to the line-up — the 22nd band, to be precise. And the new addition is none other than Sweden’s Marduk. Now, we’re really going to have to start thinking about taking this cruise seriously. Marduk is the first black-metal addition to the line-up. We figured there was no way the organizers could convince a top-flight, no-bullshit, black-metal band to jump on this thing.

A grymm cruise? Fans in corpsepaint and spikes mingling with beardos mingling with thrashers mingling with fans quaffing their brew out of drinking horns, and so on. Boggles the mind. For the current line-up of 22 bands, continue after the jump. Now we’re really getting interested in seeing who the next 18 bands will be.

For info about how to book passage on this hellish cruise, go to this location. Here’s the current line-up of bands:

Agent Steel
Amon Amarth
Death Angel
Fear Factory
Iced Earth
Sonata Arctica
Uli Jon Roth


  1. Looks like one helluva lineup so far.

    Different styles and different fans, but unlike fans of other breeds of music, metalheads tend to be well behaved when put together. Or, it seems that way to me. As long as they aren’t interacting on message boards and blogs, I’m guessing there won’t be too many problems. It’s not like this is the first metal cruise that’s ever been done.

    AS enticing as it sounds, it’s not something I’m probably going to do. At least not for quite some time.

    Nice touch getting a pirate metal band on a cruise though with Swashbuckle, and a Viking band in Amon Amarth. I’m guessing Epica might bust out something from Pirates Of The Carribean, like they did for The Classical Conspiracy, while Finntroll will probably take control of the bar.

    • It is fun to imagine what this may be like, with the different personalities of these bands. I still think that potentially the coolest thing would be if people from the various bands jammed together on stage. It doesn’t seem to happen much on tours or at festivals, but you’d think performers might be more willing to do it if they’re all cabined together on a ship for 4 or 5 days.

  2. Alestorm should be one this haha

    • Absolutely! Maybe that will happen eventually. Seems like a “must do” thing for pirate metal bands. Maybe Alestorm could play “Keelhauled” on an outside deck while a randomly selected passenger is actually keelhauled while the vessel is under way. That would be epic!

  3. Yet another update. Today (Aug 14), the promoters announced that KORPIKLAANI will also be joining this cruise, brining the total number of participating bands to 23.

    • Awesome news, even if I can’t afford to go – and most of cheapest slots are already reserved. Of course, having more Finnish bands on the bill is okay by me and given that Korpiklaani has a bunch of drinking songs, I guess they’ll be raiding the the bar with Finntroll.

      • I so hope that when this cruise limps back into port there will be some good quality video from the passengers of bar scenes (among other things). Envisioning Korpiklaani and Finntroll in a drinking contest makes me smile.

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