May 272011

We had lots of fun last year with the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise, thinking of all the things that could go wrong (for example, this). You can’t blame us, can you? Seriously, the idea of putting about 2,000 metalheads on board a ship with 40 metal bands and 24/7 bars and shoving it off into the Caribbean just seemed like an invitation to disaster.

Our fun-poking stopped, of course, when the cruise happened, no one died, and it appeared that everyone actually had a pretty good time. The tour organizers must have made some money on the thing, because now they’re launching a reprise of the cruise, scheduled to sail from Miami on January 23, 2012. Public ticket sales will start on May 31. Instead of voyaging to a Mexican island, as they did this past January, the new 4-day cruise will be bound for the Cayman Islands, where they have pubs.

Ten bands have already signed on for this next edition of the cruise, including Amorphis, Moonsorrow, and Pestilence. You can see all the names of those adventurous 10 right after the jump.

Did any of you go on the first cruise? Was it worth it? Did people actually die, and it just got covered up?

Here are the 10 bands who’ve signed on to the cruise so far:


You can get details by visiting


  1. I would love to go on this cruise, ‘cept there’s a couple things that get in the way of that… anyway it’s a great idea when you don’t factor in all the drunk metal heads on a ship in the middle of the ocean, it really does seem dangerous when you do though.

  2. Sailing with Moonsorrow – SIC!

  3. i went on a regular cruise to the caman islands and i have to say they are amazing. we went to jamaica too but caymans were way better. one of the most beautiful places ive ever been. i would kill for a chance to go on this.

    • I’ve been to few places outside the US, but Caymans was one, and I’d also love to go back. Really, really enjoyed that trip. Course that was when i was living in Texas and it wasn’t a gargantuan trip to get there, as it would be now.

    • It would be sweet if you could get Giant of the Mountain on the schedule and get paid to go.

      • I would so much rather have GOTM on that cruise than, for example, the last 3 bands listed in the post. That would be a serious quality upgrade.

        • dude i would pay to go on that cruise and have the chance to play, shit we’ll even be the band that plays in the lobby next to the bar or something. once you go on 1 cruise the rest of your days you’ll find yourself thinking every now and again, damn i miss the cruise. even talking about this really makes me miss the cruise. fuck i wanna be on a boat having some dude bring me buckets of beer…

          • That do sound sweet. However, I will probably just have buckets of beer and then I will think I’m cruising. Until I hit that figurative reef and split in half, going down with all hands.

            • lol word. imma have to get a 6 pack and a inflatable raft float around in my bathtub drunk. i can even turn on the shower to simulate a tropical storm. i just hope i dont die in my bathroom this weekend…

  4. I was on the maiden voyage and will be going again in 2012. This trip was easily the greatest week of my life and outside of Obituary, there wasn’t any band that was in my Top 10 or “I’m totally dying to see them before I die”.

    All the Blabbbermouth idiots would always say: SAUSAGEFEST, which was the furthest thing from the truth. Ratio was about 60/40 male/female.

    Every band sounded great, all the shows went off without any problems (minus a delay here or there).
    The outside pool deck stage was incredible, you could sit in the hot tub, pool or upstairs on a chair and watch any of the bands.
    veryone from all over the world were super cool and friendly, it was like a family gathering of 2,000. I’ve never seen so many people happily drunk and having a good time and getting along together.

    All of the bands were friendly and hung out at the bars and did karaoke with us fans. It was overall pretty much a mindfuck. All of my European festival hopping friends said this event was EASILY the best event they’ve ever been too.

    Tons of bands, free food, and all the creature comforts of a vacation, without sitting in the mud or a tent sweating your ass off for 4 days.

    I can understand how it would be cost prohibitive for some people, but outside of that, there is no reason for anyone not to attend this event. It was THAT GOOD, far exceeded my always lofty expectations.

    And realistically, you only want about 20 bands you want to see. Since everyone plays 2 sets, would wouldn’t be able to see 30 different full sets from bands (due to the overlap) unless you didn’t eat, sleep or socialize with anyone. And socializing and hanging out with fellow metalheads was 75% of the fun for the cruise. The music, dare I say it, was only the icing on the cake (didn’t expect that going in).

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