Sep 062011

Here are four things that got my attention earlier today. I’m betting that everyone who reads this will be interested in at least one of these items. And, just in case that’s a bad guess, we have porn after the jump.


I don’t think I have to do anything but excerpt these quotes from the Metal Blade press release. It was enough for me.

Cannibal Corpse has begun recording their twelfth studio album at Sonic Ranch studios in Texas with producer Erik Rutan. The band has spent months writing the album and has recorded at Sonic Ranch in the past, but never with Rutan at the helm. More details on the album, including art, songs, title and more will be revealed in the months to follow. For now, the band is hard at work forging their next death metal offering.

Erik Rutan worked with Cannibal Corpse for both Kill (2006) and Evisceration Plague (2009) and is returning for a third time. Rutan explains further: “I am super excited to work with Cannibal Corpse for our 3rd album together. We are determined to make the best album we possibly can. Everyone is very focused and the new material is awesome. There is a great blend of classic, old school CC with a newer, more heavy, dynamic and aggressive approach. I look forward to the challenge of making one heavy as hell record!”

(more after the jump, including porn . . .)


We’re only a few weeks away from the official September 27 release of Mastodon’s new album, Hunter. Over the long weekend, the band released the third track from the album for public consumption. It’s called “Spectrelight”, and this is it:


Ottawa, Canada’s Fuck the Facts have a new album coming, too. They don’t sound like Mastodon. They sound like you with your hand caught in a running garbage disposal, except with rhythm.

I kid, they don’t really sound like that. Well, maybe a little. They do sound like something really extreme was happening to the band members in the studio, and it involved blood, flying chunks of flesh, and a flamethrower.

A new song (“A Coward’s Existence”) from that new album (Die Miserable) is now streaming at the Fuck the Facts Bandcamp page. The album will be released on October 11 by Relapse. I’ve only heard this one new song so far, and it’s mighty good. It starts with a blast of grind, but something else happens, too. Something I won’t spoil. Here’s all the mayhem collected in one place:


We do love our Anaal Nathrakh around here. Just how much we love them is about to be tested.

Subscribers of DECIBEL magazine know that in every recent issue there’s been a Flexi-Disc containing a song. I subscribe to that magazine, but I have no turntable, so I generally just sit and imagine what the music might sound like until it goes up on YouTube or some such place.

I’m really going to have trouble imagining the sound of the next Flexi, because it will be Anaal Nathrakh covering a song called “Man at C&A” by a ska band called The Specials who were popular in the 80’s. I actually used to like The Specials, though it’s been so long ago that I listened to their music that the passage of time must be measured in terms of geologic epochs.

But I’m having real serious difficulty getting my mind around the concept of an Anaal Nathrakh cover of “Man at C&A”. On the other hand, I can’t fucken wait to hear it. Subscribe to Decibel by 9 a.m. EST on Thursday and that will ensure that your first issue is the one that includes this Flexi — or so DECIBEL tells us.


Whut?  You thought only humans visited this site? Fuck no.

And don’t be a species bigot. Anteaters need full-frontal stroking material, too.


  1. Tee hee, you love Anaal (Nathrakh). Well really, who doesn’t? I love introducing people to this band… you might say I prefer to give Anaal than receive it.

    This has been done to death already, hasn’t it? Sorry.

    I want to hear what CC considers “heavier”. Shit. They’re going to create a black hole.

  2. Anaal Nathrakh covering a ska song… What the fuck in hell could that sound like?

    And obviously we know that not only humans come to this site. Phro comes here doesn’t he?

  3. New cannibal corpse! But heavier! And more cannabiller…ish…?
    While I fully expect to like the new album, I also think any claims of growth, like speculation on my origin, are greatly exaggerated. I mean, what are they gonna do, go JPop grind? I can see the lyrics…”kawaii! You scream! Your pink frilly tentacles! I chop! And eat! Cumming! Iku iku! On your socially acceptable school girl crush! As I fondle your breasts! Radioactive! On the train!”

    I loathe ska. It’s like testicular cancer that occasionally goes up to your ears and rapes them with a awl. A fat, ugly awl that will stalk you and ask for abortion money but use it to buy booze and gas for huffing. I thought anal would never never be unwelcome, but fuck that shit. (In the ass. Hehehe.)

    That anteater is gonna go to your house and tonguefuck your dog, cat and plants into zombies. Then you will be eaten alive as it masturbates in the corner in a Tutu. Don’t fuck with anteaters.

    • You definitely have a future as a JPop/grind lyricist. The words just roll out like flowing water. From a busted sewer main. Right after a dysentery epidemic.

      Have faith in the mighty Anaal Nathrakh. They will take that Specials song and turn it inside out, making it ACTUALLY sound like testicular cancer, if testicular cancer could sing.

      As for anteaters, I am trying to appease them with the porn. I used to think the lorises would protect me from them, but it turns out lorises are even slower than they seem on all the YouTube videos. All they want to do is eat grubs and then just stare, and stare, and stare, with those big starey eyes they have.

      Lorises aren’t quite as slow as three-toed sloths, but still pretty fucking slooooow. Oh, and speaking of sloths, see the update post I just put up.

      • I think you underestimate how much I hate ska.
        And my lack of faith.
        But you do have a point…it Is anaal nathrakh… But if it sucks, I get to say I told you so while waving my dick like a horny duck.

        Dysentery epidemic? You flatter me! I would have been happy with fountains of syphilitic cum shots.

        Have you tried lacing the grubs with speed?

        • Speed-laced grubs! That’s an awesome idea. Now I just have to overcome my fear of what fast-moving lorises might do when the anteaters aren’t attacking.

          • Their stares will cause things to burst into flames.

            • It’s a good thing I cover myself in aluminum foil every morning. That’s because of the microwave attacks from space satellites, but I think the foil will help with the flame-generating loris stares too. I don’t think people realize just how dangerous it is working on this blog.

              • And you don’t even know about the fucktopus yet.

                • Oh shit. I have to do some research to find the natural enemy of the fucktopus and see if they sell them at my local pet store. I’m hoping it’s gerbils.

                  • As far as I know, the only natural enemy the Fucktopus has is the Pope.

                    Unfortunately, the pope is kinda old and feeble, so I’m not sure how much you’d wanna rely on him at this particular point…

                    You COULD just try throwing random children at it…that’s probably all the Pope would do anyway…

                    But it’d be hard to get that same ZEST he’s so good with.

      • J-Pop grind? Scary. Although, if a band like blood Stain Child can exist, do well and not sound like complete, utter shit, maybe kawaiigrind can happen. That is, If it doesn’t already exist – which I pretty sure it does. I’ve heard some disturbing things in my travels from link to link and seen/heard some truly craptacular stuff on YouTube from Japanese “musicians”.

  4. New Mastodon and anteater porn always make for a good fuckin’ pancake!

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