Oct 302011

Here we go again — the latest installment of this series in which we feature videos, images, and news items that we think are metal, even though they’re not music. I have five items for you today. They involve sharks in a trance, humans in a slingshot, ESPNS, a blue devil horse — and a trippy bonus item.


Cristina Zenato is an Italian scuba diver who has mastered an unusual (and certifiably insane) technique: she can put sharks into a trance. According to this article, she induces the “tonic” state in sharks by rubbing the “Ampullae of Lorenzini” — which is the name of hundreds of jelly-filled pores around the shark’s nose and mouth. Those pores act as electroreceptors that detect prey moving in the electromagnetic field around the shark – but also, for some reason rubbing them produces that “tonic” state.

A “tonic” state is a natural state of paralysis in sharks that lasts for about 15 minutes. It can happen when they’re turned upside down. It also appears to happen when you rub their Ampullae of Lorenzini. Of course, to rub those pours, you’ve got to put your hand really close to the part of the shark that can bite off your whole fucking arm.

Cristina Zenato isn’t quite as nuts as it might seem at first. Although she’s been working with sharks for more than 15 years, she still wears a chain link suit in case one of the animals is tempted to make a meal from her body parts. But watching what she does is still awe-inspiring. (more after the jump . . .)

Sharks are metal, and fucking with sharks like Cristina Zenato does is, I dunno, über-metal? Here’s a fuck-tastic video, beautifully filmed and edited by Joe Romeiro, showing Cristina Zenato doing her thing. The music isn’t metal, but it’s still damned good. The song is a Mexican standard called “Malagueña Salerosa”, and here it’s performed by a band based in Austin, Texas, called Chingon (which includes film director Robert Rodriguez on guitar). Chingon’s version of the song also appeared in the movie Kill Bill 2.

Credit to TYWKIWDBI for this feature.


I guess human slingshot videos have been around the Tube of You for years, but I saw my first one only a few days ago because it appeared on the wall of one of my Book of Face friends. I looked at a couple more, but this one looks like it’s professionally filmed and definitely has the best visuals. It also has a soundtrack (a song called “Head In the Air” by Micah Anderson), but I wish I had the energy to replace it with something metal. You can always turn the sound down.

Anyway, this looks pretty fuckin’ metal to me. I’d do this, except with my luck I’d be impaled on one of those distant trees.

I’d also want to wear an adult diaper before doing that slingshot thing.


Look behind you dude!

(Thanks to Trollfiend for this penile contribution. It made him think of Phro. Made me think of Phro, too.)


“Blue Mustang” is the name of a sculpture installed just south of the Denver International Airport. It’s a statue of a wild, cobalt blue horse, with electric red eyes, and it’s . . . uh . . . anatomically correct. Rearing 32 feet high, it demands the attention of every traveler driving into the Denver International Airport. I’ve been through that airport since the sculpture was installed, but only to change planes, so I haven’t seen it myself. But the photos I’ve seen are pretty striking. Like this one:

There’s quite a story behind the sculpture, too. The City of Denver originally commissioned it from New Mexico artist Luis Jimenez in 1993, two years before the airport opened. In 2006, Jimenez was killed when a section of the unfinished horse fell from a hoist at his Hondo, New Mexico, studio. Jimenez’s sons, Adan and Orion, completed the sculpture, and it was installed Feb. 11, 2008.

The fact that the sculpture killed the artist, plus the appearance of the thing, have generated continuing controversy in Denver. Some people think it’s cursed, and others are of the opinion that maybe this isn’t what travelers really want to be seeing right before taking an airplane flight. There’s some agitation to have the sculpture removed, but I hope that movement fails, because this sculpture is Fucking. Metal.

Of course, it has been given lots of nicknames. “Bluecifer” is the one I like best.


And now here’s a bonus item. I saw the following animated video this morning on the Kuriositas blog. It seemed fitting to put it right here, because it begins and ends with a running horse.

It’s a helluva piece of pencil animation, filled with anime references and appearances of all sorts of other images from “pop culture”, and it gets progressively more trippy as it moves along. The music is by Fatboy Slim. The video is called PencilHead.

Enjoy the rest of your fucking day.

  27 Responses to ““THAT’S METAL!” – BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 46)”

  1. I liked the song…the video was well done, but I only got like three of the references. (One of the, unfortunately, was Evangelion. Shit on a stick, that was a stupid series.) But I also don’t like anime. (That’s a lie, I fucking loathe anime.)

    Being from Colorado (and having just gone through DIA last week), that horse sculpture is…insane. It’s so weird…kind of like the fountains that used to be there that (supposedly) represented the Rockies. It just looked like bukkake to me, but what did I know when I was ten…

    I loved the Penis Penis Penis Penis. Forevermore, that’s all ESPN will be to me. (It already was.)

    I want some to sling me.

    • No love for Cristina And The Sharks?

      • Jesus, you’re like a needy girlfriend. I complement your ass, your tits, your hair and you make up, but you’re pissed cause I forgot to mention your shoes.


        (That means I just fucked your shark and blew my load on it’s back. Only, actually, I spit on it’s back, and when it turned around all pissed, i came on it’s face.)

        In short, fuck sharks.

  2. Bonus win on the Pencilhead video for Tank Girl and Jet.

  3. And that giant blue Nightmare…all I could think of was this conversation between the sculptor and his SO:

    “Dinner’s ready, honey!”

    “Okay, I’ll be right in after I finish up with these ass veins.”

  4. Human Slingshot: worst siege engine EVER.

    • That said: a) I watched the video with the sound off and Shangren’s ‘Monkey King’ playing in the background. So when I heard the actual song playing in the video, it was something of a letdown. And #2: I would 900 times rather do this than bungee jumping.

  5. Shark video: I have to admit, I do love that song. I thought it was a weird choice at first, but after watching the video it seemed to fit. Curious, though… does anyone know what kind of sharks those are? They look kind of like bull sharks to my untrained eye; if that’s the case, the video is just that much more metal…bull sharks have a rep for being aggressive. I have to wonder, though, what sort of evolutionary benefit the “tonic” state provides to sharks, or if it’s just a weird little quirk of nature…I can’t imagine sharks get their faces rubbed a whole lot in the wild. Speaking of which, if a girl in chain mail rubbed MY jelly-filled pouches, I’d probably go into a catatonic headstand too.

    • “if a girl in chain mail rubbed MY jelly-filled pouches, I’d probably go into a catatonic headstand too.” +1000

      I found this at The Font of All Human Knowledge about “tonic states” and apparent death. Usually, I get into a tonic state when I go to heavy on the gin in my gin and tonics.


      And it does look like a bull shark, or maybe a tiger shark. Either way, not creatures you wanna fuck around with unless you’ve always wondered what it would be like to live as an amputee.

  6. I can’t see or hear of Fatboy Slim without thinking of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEyY6LEUWUw

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