Let me just get this off my chest: Fuck the Big Four. If we must have thrash, then let it be scum thrash punks drunk on metal and burning in a vaginal hell. Preferably written, performed, and recorded by a band named Prostitute, whose members preferably are called Scum and Slag.
Preferably playing songs like “Homage To Oblivion”, “Hell Is For Heshers”, “Let’s Fuckin’ Fight”, and “Titanium Scrotum”.
Yeah, go ahead and laff it up. I bet you think this is funny. But that’s because you haven’t heard the music yet. It’s dirty thrash, full of hell, booze, blood, and snot. It’s moshing, head-butting music that doesn’t give a rat’s ass — but damn it’s a kick in tender parts to hear. These two dirtbags know how to throw one compulsive riff after another until your mind is one big filthy riff, with evil vocals echoing off the walls of that empty cell you call a life.
I wish I could tell you more about Prostitute, but all I know is that they’re from Gainesville, Florida, and their debut album — Vaginal Hell Demos — is available for free download courtesy of Satanik Recordings and Bandcamp. Stream one song on the player that follows the jump and I bet you won’t want to stop. And if you do, well then I guess I was wrong: It’s too early in the morning for this.
And how ’bout a round of applause for the awesome Hot Graves for posting about this album on their FB wall, without which I would have missed this vaginal hell.
The morning is the perfect time for this. It’s like a hundred volts of electricity straight to your nipples.
I’m fuckin’ awake now.
Nipple wattage: my work here is done.
I was just about to go to sleep…but now I’m gonna go run a marathon in a buffalo herd…AND FUCK UP ANY OF THOSE ASSHOLE THAT TRY TO START SHIT!
I had an intuition this would get your attention. Buffalo ftw.
The vocals even managed not to annoy me.
It’s not gonna be my favorite band ever, but for thrash, I quite appreciate the fuck out of it.
It’s grimy and filth like a good sleaze band, but a sleaze band that’s on steroids. With the requisite hate boner.
Hey, we all need some good, filthy, sleazy fun in our lives. Unfortunately, the people who don’t get enough of it are running the world.
I’m pretty sure that they’re getting more than their fair share of sleaze and they are just unsatiated.
I tell you what though, if I were the CEO of a major banking company…well, the housing market collapse would have been ten times more awesome and no one would have noticed because we’d all still be hung over.
I’d make a horrible businessperson.
Yeah, I was imprecise. Government and business leaders do have way too much sleazy fun. Maybe the difference is that their fun comes at the expense of others. The kind of sleazy fun I had in mind only comes at the expense of your liver. And your head. And sometimes your teeth.
Are you selling your teeth to buy booze??
I nearly had a really funny answer, but I finally paid attention to your new identity and my mind went blank.
The vocals aren’t annoying. But, it sounds like the band’s in the basement, and the vocalist is in the old well in the backyard… Not a scenario one has come across even with old hardcore albums.
Well said! This is part of why I love the album. The sound is deliciously, unpretentiously fucked up.
I bet there are corpses in the old well, too.
I didn’t stop headbanging all throughout “Bathed in Blood.” My neck hurts now. I regret nothing.
At first I thought vaginal hell was what happened when you fuck more demon, but then I distinctly heard the line “aluminum load all over you” in “Titanium Scrotum.” If he’s blowing an aluminum load, that would definitely create some vaginal hell.
I agree entirely with the sound comment. I love the fuck out of this band. We definately need to hear more of em’. It’s nice to see some people still know how to fuck shit up! Singing along with this made my throat sore and my neighbors angry. So I turned it up and gave em’ a good ol’ prostitue salute!