Apr 202012

At some point, long ago, my family taught me not to discuss religion or politics with anyone unless I just felt in the mood for a pointless argument in which reason wouldn’t enter into the discussion. Of course, I ignored this advice for a long time, as I ignored all sorts of other advice I got, most of which concerned drinking, drugs, and women.

Hey, I don’t think I turned out any worse for ignoring all this advice, though it definitely is true that almost no one who cares about religion or politics is going to change their beliefs by debating the wisdom of what they believe. For a long time, I just really enjoyed pointless arguing, especially when drunk or drugged. As time has passed, that got boring and/or painful (the part about debating religion and politics), and so now I stick to the advice I got when I was raised (the advice about debating religion and politics).

So, this post isn’t mainly about my own opinions on the subject of religion. I will say that I don’t see much point in believing in a deity who seems just as nasty, vindictive, and cruel as my fellow human beings. I doubt that any such being exists, and if he did, I wouldn’t want to empower him with my belief anyway (or debase myself either). I’d rather just take my chances.

But rather than pontificate about the subject of religion, what I really want to do in this post is play you a video that’s just out-and-out hilarious. Fuck, if you could get past all the “bad language”, it might even be fun to watch if you were a person who believed in an ornery God who punishes people for acting like . . . people. Though I wouldn’t know.

The genius who created the song is one John R. Butler, and the song is called “The Hand of the Almighty”, and it is available on Amazon mp3. I’m not positive who found the film clips used in the video, but they work.

If you don’t find this funny because it takes a few easy shots at the Old Testament and at faith, well, just take comfort in the belief that those of us who are laughing, God will fuck us up.

And if you don’t find this funny because the humor is juvenile and unenlightening, I have this to say to you: Welcome to NO CLEAN SINGING!

(Credit to my friend Ian for sending me the link to this. It made my goddamned day.)


  28 Responses to “GOD WILL FUCK YOU UP”

  1. Thanks Dude, that was the laugh I needed this morning!

  2. That was very funny! I’m a fan of John Butler but never heard that song before. Talking of John Butler, you should watch this video, not metal but the song is simply fantastic:


    • Who knew there were two John Butler’s, one from Australia, one from Florida, both of whom are geniuses? I loved every second of that song. Thanks for introducing me to it. And for those who want to know more about the dude who did “Hand of the Almighty”, here’s his web site:


  3. Being an angry, militant new atheist, I approve the shit outta this post.

    Now I’m gonna listen to Hank 3.

  4. I can relate to the post, cause I never discuss religion or politics, especially in m country. I’m more of the type that I know what I believe and try to respect others. Other than, this video made me laughed so hard at work

  5. “I thank Him Who has given me strength for this, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful by appointing me to His service, though I formerly blasphemed and persecuted and insulted Him; but I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.”
    “And every one who speaks a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but he who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Luke 12:10 RSV)

    “Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin” – for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.” (Mark 3:28-30 RSV) [see The Unpardonable Sin]

    Thanks for the streaming of 7 horns 7 eyes!

    Jesus does love you, even though you mock Him.

  6. In fairness, Islander has not mocked Christ–most of this shit is old-testament; according to the protestants ALL the old testament shit is forgiven de-facto and therefore fair game to mock. Actually, Islander hasn’t mocked christ at all, he’s posted a video of John Butler doing so.

    So…there you go. Imma rock some Death in June now.

    • One can be an accessory to another’s sin, by approving, partaking, and other participation. Whether this video is sinful might depend on the artist’s intention. A picture of a crucifix in urine goes without analysis, but if he’s trying to reach a modern audience, that may be just bad taste. I believe in just being real. You might be hated, but begridgingly respected. Any case, I believe certain sons are unforgiveable, if you die with them on your soul. I would check an official catechism, if you want to know timeless teachings. Other churches and man-made institutions change with the wind, eventually. I like the unchanging teachings of The Church, because it’s humanly impossible to reject contraception, approve of the latter or not.

  7. HA well played.

    That dude’s wife was mighty fine lookin’.

  8. if i ever become a dad, this is how i will teach my kids about religion!

    parenthood made awesome!

  9. This is the kinda song you blast while driving through the bible belt 🙂

    • Careful. If they catch you they will thump you with a belt made of bibles…or water boarding. I can’t remember which exactly. Nothing cures blasphemy like simulated drowning.

  10. I’ll see your “God will fuck you up” and raise you some NOFX: ‘Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime)

  11. Only funny country is listenable. And this is funny 🙂

  12. You are ALL so F*&^kn Boring
    Jesus of Nazareth is The LOPRD!

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