Jan 162013

(Andy Synn’s first installment of album reviews in haiku drew a lot of interest, and a bunch of hilarious haikus in the comments, too. So Andy decided to do it again . . . .)

Well the first edition of this was such a success that I’ve been working on several more in the time since publishing that first, relatively off-the-cuff, entry in the series.

I hadn’t originally intended to return to the well so soon, but with Islander’s work commitment cutting down on his ability to write and post to the site, “Reviews In Haikus” has become a good fallback option!

So here’s another 3 albums, irreverently reviewed in English Haiku style. There’s no real hidden puns or subtexts this time round, as no-one got my “clever” little joke/reference in the last one, so all the humour and references are nice and obviously telegraphed. Suck it, nerds.



Instinctive decay

Old souls, young blood, tales of woe

Black metal refined


Oppa, Dimmu style

Crushing symphonic excess

New darkness enthroned



Death metal, core sounds

Some attempts to stretch their bounds

Best when punishing


  1. Jesus H Christmas, I’ve just realised there IS another clever little pun like there was last time. I’d forgotten about it.

    Should be easier to catch this time though.

    First person to spot it, and explain WHY it works, wins a digital e-cookie from the NCS jar.

    • won’t be able to spot it, my brain needs coffee at the moment. Got to tell you got the Impending Doom and it’s a great record. The other two will give it a listen.

    • (Read this in the voice of Vizzini from “The Princess Bride”) Simple, it’s the Saturnian haiku: Saturnian vocalist Phil Wilson was in Gorerotted with Gian Pyres, who was also in Cradle of Filth. Jon Kennedy was a member of Cradle of Filth, but was also a member of… Hecate Enthroned! But wait, there’s more. Hecate Enthroned was on the same label (Blackened Records) as, and toured with (in 1998)…Enthroned! It’s 6 degrees of Phil Wilson!

  2. First, unknown to me

    A search for Synn, and Haiku

    More amusement now

  3. Pretty easy one there, Andy. You mention “Dimmu style” and “darkness enthroned” in the Saturnian haiku. Dimmu Borgir released “Enthrone Darkness Triumphant” in 1997. And I’m not even a black metal fan.

  4. “Oppa, Dimmu style”

    Funny! 😀

  5. Wild guess that your clever pun might be Nachtmystium reference in the Winterfylleth haiku

    • Have half a cookie sir!

      Can you suggest why though?

      • I’m unfamiliar with Winterfylleth and pretty much lost interest in Nachtmystium after “Reign of the Malicious”, I just recognized that “Instinctive decay” was close enough to the title of the Nachtmystium album (Instinct: Decay)

        • Well you can still keep your half cookie. I’ll have the rest.

          Essentially I was just trying to draw the comparison between the vocals of the two bands, which are near-identical in tone and delivery.

          Apparently in haiku it is always better to ‘imply’ than to ‘tell’.

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