Aug 222013

Beginning later today and for about one week, things are likely to slow down at this site. We’ll still get at least one post up here per day, but that may be all we can manage. This is because all of the regular staff writers of NCS are gathering together in Seattle for the first in-person meeting ever. TheMadIsraeli and Andy Synn will be arriving today, and BadWolf and DGR will be descending from the clouds tomorrow trailing godlike raiments, otherwise known as jet exhaust.

There will be much touristy activity, there will be a bit of drinking, there will be some live metal indulgences (among other things, Wintersun, Fleshgod Apocalypse, and Arsis are in town tomorrow night), there may be fisticuffs. It is unlikely there will be much blogging.

We have some ambitious plans for that Wintersun show. Two of my comrades signed up for that Arsis crowdfunding perk where James Malone cuts your hair; if that actually happens, there will be a photo op and maybe an impromptu interview. And regardless, we will all be hanging out at Seattle’s Studio Seven tomorrow night. If you’re there, look for a mismatched quintet acting as if they should be on stage but are not.

It’s entirely possible no good will come of this. It’s one thing to pray together at It’s another thing to share popcorn on the sofa at a screening of Left Behind in person. Like, what if your butts are too big to maintain a chaste distance?

We get along okay as icons in the interhole, but what if we annoy the shit out of each other as actual people? What if someone ruptures a spleen? The end of August could bring the end of NCS.

So yeah, it’s a chancy move, but hey, we’re all about YOLO here. In fact, I have flat-brim YOLO ballcaps to give the other dudes. I know they will love them, along with the boxes of chocolates and the personally inscribed copies of Proof of Heaven. I may fall short at many things, but I’m a good host.

You could help make this a relaxing week for all of us. Sending money would help, but I’m thinking about guest posts. I know it’s short notice, but if you’d like to write something that might fit here, please give it a shot — it could be a review, an opinion piece of some kind, a round-up of songs you want to recommend, film of your cat twerking, whatever. Send me an e-mail if you’re interested [].

Pray for us. Or sacrifice an innocent child. We’re broad-minded about supernatural appeals.


  17 Responses to “SLOWDOWN AHEAD”

  1. You’ll have a brilliant time, especially tomorrow!!! Wish I could go to that gig 🙁

  2. sounds awesome, hope you guys have a great time!

  3. While we know that this event is a farce, all of you actually being the same person and all; but, One does hope to receive confirmation that Islander’s head is indeed a cat.
    Alternatively, if you chaps have somehow secretly managed to separate yourselves into individual bodies, like the Hulk and Dr. Banner once did, and you are genuinely concerned about butt chastity, there is one very simple solution: lose the chastity and get dirty.

  4. Yet another reason I wish I was going to the show tomorrow night instead of working… Although, with all of you there it might be safer to stay away.
    My friend’s gonna be there, if you could all sign his face and take a picture I’d appreciate it. Better yet, hook him up with one of those YOLO hats, he’d love it. He’ll be the guy with long hair, black clothes and a band shirt… If not, it’s all good. Just try to leave Studio Seven standing, with minimal loris infestation. And if you manage to get a few of the ever elusive bar stools, remember to keep them a safe distance apart to preserve the all important butt chastity (it’s a metal show guys, let’s try to keep it clean).

    • We’ll miss you. But your friend? I think I know the guy you mean.

      No worries about the loris infestation. They tend to show up late — like during the afternoon two days later when the place is closed. Cuz they’re slow lorises.

  5. obligatory PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

    sounds like fun
    get a crowd chanting something like WHRE IS TIME2? at the wintersun show. Jaari needs to get his **** together

  6. I recently did kinda the same thing, met up with some longtime online friends. Had a blast! Best wishes.

  7. I’m doing the haircut perk at my local gig in San Diego. I actually needed a haircut anyway, so I decided to get the most metal one I will ever have. If I can think of anything that might be worth sharing with the interhole, I may send that in too.

  8. This is like the Expendables or the Fast movies where its a super-group of rad dudes kicking ass and taking names.


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