(Yes, we did already post a year-end list from one of the members of A Band of Orcs [Cretos Filthgrinder], but we asked Gronk! if he would again give us one, too, because when it comes to being spared, we take no chances. HAIL GZOROTH!)
Unseasoned Greetings humies,
Once upon a time more Islander asks Gronk! for him’s Suncycle-end list of 2014. Hail Islander, Gronk! guess me do nother such list for favorite metal bleeorg. Gronk! not go in partorcular order like go last Suncycle. Insteads me let Chaos Reign and go EXtream of subconsciousness for see what metal-philoso-theological thought-forms bubble up to surface from depths of darklake mind.
Elves lie. But that beside point. Point this: Oak Pantheon remaster and do first time physical release of 2011 debut The Void, so that give Gronk! excuse for start with something old in list supposed to be something new.
Everything bout The Void from bleak and white pen with ink drawing cover – lookie above – to dreary lyrical poetry tracks like opener In the Dead of Winter Night offers perfect way for discelebrate dismal unholiday season of lies told by Nailed Avatar and him’s Torture Daddy during repurposed Yuletide facade. But with proper Tree knowledge Oak Pantheon see through ruse and tell us:
The air is cold and thin
In the dead of Winter night
A woman standing still
In a dress of purest white
Her beauty was unmatched
But her heart was black as coal
A gorgeous outer shell
To a body with no soul
Oak Pantheon evoke atmostphere of True Nature in its waning phase – skeletal tree, silver moon, crisp snow, inky darkness, and cold stone that so close to skin and Tusk of orc existence in usses black cavewomb of Mother Chaos. And Ye Old Professor hath made you humies think orcses haters of trees? Sure, usses revere Tusk and Claw, Axe and Shield, and kill when need arise, for it so often does, both for eat and for defend Orc way of life, but why would youse suppose usses hates trees, when usses depend on thems – branch, bark and leaf – for usses existence? Because Pro Fessor told you so, that why.
Usses not see too much Natural, super or otherwise, in Earthrealm here, Gronk! always appreciate mental vidaudios conjured by these humid minstrels.
Speak of something old being something new and Supernature, Gronk! favorite shamanic rock band have new video for older album.
Monster Magnet get reimagining from director Phil Mucci for song The Duke from album Lost Patrol. What him Duke of? Why, Supernature, of courses. Check out; let video speak for selfie.
Yes, Monster Magnet live up to name. Me Gronk!, one Monster, drawn to crazy psychodelic verse of one Dave Wyndorf and Gronk! being one interloper on this here planet, me can relate to Space Lord. This old song, but video sorcery made in Spain in 2014, so this count, right?
But wait, me almost forget, Oak Pantheon DO have actual release in 2014. One another single contribute to Elemental Nightmares series of split EPs, which features much many other bands too, and also come in limited edition Ten Inches of Vinyl, for humies what like hold actual best-sounding stuffs in hand, instead of Ethereal stuffs of digital audio sorcery. Oak Pantheon call song Changed Unchanging. Listen here:
Check out much many other bands of Elemental Nightmares series here:
Gronk! not have chance to go through all this metals, but Oak Pantheon serve as gateway drug to discovery. Shall hafta come back to treasure trove of metalessence at nother time or me never, never finish this article. Have fun journey down wyrmhole, maybe humies can comment on this post what you think of all the metals here. One open source metal investigation… Hail Gzoroth!!!
Yeah, yeah, fashionable for hate Machine Head, yeah, yeah, go fuck your elf.
Gronk! spend whole lotta time try figure out who in charge of Earthrealm since come here from Hirntodia, so usses can take over (Indeed, last year some humies comment usses make more better overlords than current ones. Usses agree.). Turnip that be one very, very difficult tasks, but after while Gronk! see same-same here (Earthrealm) as same-same there (Hirntodia) – Cult of the Yellow Sign run things.
Many metal prophets try for warn humies of shenanigans by mis-so-called leaders, of them’s crimes purporpertrated gainst humies by Gorgeous Outer Shells of institutions what supposed for make humie tribe strong. But you know what Gorgeous Outer Shells really think of youse humies? Gronk! realize this when him listen to Bloodstone and Diamonds and words from song Game Over (Okay, Gronk! grant this song particular not bout thingy me talk about – Gronk! rather suspect it more personal and directed at former member, but still EXtream of subconsciousness, remember? But me digest….).
But I’ll never forget all this pain
Let there be no mistake
This is not a game!
Gorgeous Outer Shells think youse all pieces in some game called Chess. Don’t believe Gronk!? Lookie here:
If you agree this vile humie, then youse wishes commit collective suicide. Okay, by me. Make usses job easier. But all honestly you humies grow attached to usses in this orc-humie metal tribe like barnacle on ass of seaship, so usses try a bit for help before let you die. But your choice, “Do as thou wilt,” all that. If Thou wilt do nothing, then they DO DO on you.
Usses see it happen much many times in Hirntodia: first the goblinses, then the sneeds, and the urbluks, then crokenikens. All gone. Lulled into false sense of compliancy, then killed dead by poison and flame and illusion. Usses even contribute to owns demise a bit, as all Beings do, before ussess realize us been had and fight back. (But this tale for nother album sometime 2015).
Gronk! almost feel bad posting link to Brez-nik-stink-sy-whatever-fuck-how-you-say-name’s book, but proof’s in badtasty puddy and there are much many more bookeses and white scrolls of such written by advisor of youse leaders past and present. For humie leaders youse lifess, youse momma’s lifess, youse metal brothers and sisters in arms with horns held up high’s lifess, youse cats and dogs’ lifes all mere pieces on checkerboard. Whether you be one King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, or Rook…That one dishonorable distinction; don’t feel too proud. Metal prophets of yore, Black Sabbath, already say (Usses hear it every night for pound into head for Gwar’s set opener on Madness at the Core of Time Tour), “Treating people just like pawns in chess.” Mayhaps, you forgot. Or it not register. Let Flynn repeat.
Let there be no mistake
This is not a game!
This not World of Warcraft. This not Halo. This not Call of Duty. This really, real life.
Win all costs; sacrifice even Queen to reign Supreme. Bloodstone and Diamonds full of illustrations, both woodcut and verbals, of this points. If youse too broke for buy alubm, Nuclear Blast put full stream up for your looky and listeny cognitive dissonance displeasure.
Like Ye Olde saying says, “Nothing is True. Everything is permitted.” That not mean what one think on face of it. Think. Think.
Oh, oops, almost forget discuss music itself. Crunchy guitar? Check. Kick Axe-shredding solos, dual and otherwise by Axe Warriors Demmel and Flynn? Check. Screamy vocals? Check. Singy vocals? Check (I know, this No Clean Singing, but Gronk! been known for break ruleses). Groovy riffs? Check. Epically long tunes? Check. Useful messages for doomed humanity probably unheeded? Check. (Though, might require some knowledge of Tarot for understand. See Bruce Dickinson’s solo stuffs also for more of such cartomantic tools.) But hey, if’n youse like more brutal themes, then at least one song for orgiastic blood splatter satisfaction bout Charles Manson and him’s Family, Night of the Long Knives.
This a visualizer for song.
Gronk! always appreciate good pun and favorite of mine for this year is “Moneytheistic Religion” coined in song In Comes the Flood.
By the by, if’n you want know what fuck him talk about in this song, perhaps, this help clear things up one bit. Me know it blow Gronk!’s mind. In Hirntodia usses still use gold for all that glitters, but in Earthrealm humies got nothing quite so real as that.
WTF? Gronk! still scratch him’s green head for try and make sense of such sorcery. Very powerful!!!
Also, some useful philosotheology for make sense of stuffs.
One last thingy, Gronk! learn something him not know before. What the fuck an “Imaginal Cell?”
Thanks to Machine Head and Wickidpedia, now Gronk! know. You spared!
Okay, okay, okay…Gronk! realize him get long penneded. Youse might as well turn back now, humies. Here be dragonses and stuffs….
Monsonto Death Machine from Blood Sacrifice
Usses allies in Witchaven well aware this Chess Game for whiches so Grand and Gorgeous Outer Shells’ uses disposable humies. You know some infamous ‘moneytheistic’ priest of, methinks, 19th Century once say something like him care not who make law cuz him control money supply. Just think though, him been one-upped because Monsonto Death Machine say fuck that – if usses control food supply then all your humies are belong to us.
Holy fucks!!! That what MDM’s foods do for humies and other critters? Hard for be one Warrior when body die from inside out. Chew youse Tusks on that.
This one album Gronk! talk about last Suncycle list as look forward to and Exmortus not disappoint with Slave to the Sword. Prosthetic put full stream here.
Usses meet Exmortus much many SunCycles ago at wrestling and metal event we play together. Been allies and supporters ever since. (Actually, usses meet Witchaven at same-same show, if Gronk! remembers more correctly). Anywake, Exmortus Great magick energy live. Leave even brutal grim and determined orcs with smiles on Tusky faces.
Gronk! find impossible for listen and not feel uplift, ready for face Gorgeous Outer Shells in mortal combat. Conan and Co. use classical style in their death-thrash porridge with great skill and joyful shrease (shredding with ease). And on latest release Slave to the Sword them even cover bard so famous him’s songs permeate Multiverse through Ether plane to land in Hirntodia – one minstrel call Beethoven and Gronk!’s favorite Sonata, the Moonlight one, act number three.
This album prove that through frenzied battles, line-up change, and movement of lead axer Conan from just guitar to guitar and vox, Conan and crew still know what best in life:
Crush your guitar solos
See fans headbang before you
Hear the exaltations of the women
And thems have good advice for humies when faced with extermination.
When the reaper makes his deal
Trust in your steel
Forget all you heard
There’s no power in the word
Wrong! Immense power in Wyrd. Me agree with this humie called Corbett. Wyrds have power; Wyrds weave spells. (Where you think Spelling come from?) And now internets weave spells.
The Net is Mightier than the Sword
If youse doubt power of wyrd, refer back to Monster Magnet video for The Duke. Sword kill one humie at a time, but with one wyrd from right well-placed WarChief and Kablui… thousands to millions of humies die!!!! Maybe even orcses too if usses not pass through Vortex back to Hirntodia more quickly enough.
There be powers in Wryds AND Steel; youse must master both for truly throw off yoke of Gorgeous Outer Shells.
Dying Out Flame
Last year Gronk! list Suffocation’s album Pinnacle of Bedlam and show vid of Hobbs splain how it based on Tibetan Book of the Dead. This year, thanks to No Clean Singing, Gronk! discovers band called Dying Out Flame, one band based in Nepalrealm near whence hails afore-said Book of the Dead. The album called Shiva Rusdrastakam.
All Gronk! can say is, “Fuck!” Just kidding, hahahah, Gronk! can say more, obliviously. Nothing short of Brutastic, this! Combine native instruments, vedic chants, and crushing metal to form in Gronk!’s view most blistering, mind-bending original collection of metal tales from Earthrealm of 2014.
Gronk! not speak Nepalise or Hindi or Sanskrit or whichever tongue thems chant in, but Gronk! can only assume since them so brutal the opening track Praise of the Omni Present One to be praising Gzoroth – Hail Gzoroth! – likewise Eternal Mother of Great Time must needs be bout Mother Chaos – Hail Eris! – therefore them doubly spared.
Thems described by Bandcamp page as same-same Nile, Krisiun, Deicide, etc. True, and Gronk! mightily add that on this tune them remind Gronk! much of Bolt Thrower for start, then come the ‘native instrument break down’ haha at 3:50 and that make one want to whirl and mosh and create Maelstrom for open vortex and summon gods and spirits from the Womb of Chaos for thrash and Dominate this realm and throwdown the boring dull deadly Monotheon.
Actually, it sound like any given day downtown village of Santa Cruz for one moment, hahahahha, Gronk! listen again and again. Overall album Shiva Rudrastakam make one deliscious blood sausage of metal. It take me back….
Speaking of bloody messes floating down the EXtream of subconsciousness…
Haha, naturally, with usses having one album call Adding Heads to the Pile, we appreciate one band called Decapitated. Them’s album Blood Mantra provide Gronk! with Favorite song title of this Suncycle. It called The Blasphemous Psalm to the Dummy God Creation, hahahah, but catchiest most grooviest tap-your-clawed-toes riff on album belong to title track Blood Mantra. Gronk! imagine that something Dimebag woulda coulda rocked had him been death metal axe wielder, oh, and still alive.
Sometimes, even when Gronk! not have time to listen to whole song cuz must needs go out on raid or cast spell or Hail Gzoroth, still take one drop of time for listen to riff, then it stuck in Gronk!’s head all day… air guitar and all that like some infectious groovy disease. Gronk! also like how through out album one guitar make drony sound while other make brutal crushing riff sound while drummer pound wardrums straight into your skull at decimating pace. Songs like Veins and Nest vaguely suggest best of Slipknot in them’s brutal Iowa period, but you know, with more gutteral vocals and less other stuffs.
Gronk! not much into Satan, him being opposite pole of the Monotheon system, if even as foil, therefore him part of it. Still, me rather have lunch with him pointy-tailed, behorned ruler of Hellplane than that Gorgeous Outer Shell Jeebus with him’s messianic high-pro glow and sweet sickly smell of artificial chariot windshield wiper pine scent air freshner any days; in interest of Pantheon building and Monotheon destruction, etc., etc. But stills, Gronk! must needs admit servants of Satan have good year in metal.
Methinks Behemoth’s The Satanist best produced album of year, so far as sound go. And song-weaving splendid, too. Majestic, epic, sweeping all terms come to Gronk!’s head. Me surprised Cretos not include in his list, as all 3 remaining Orcses agree album have one very crushing grandeur and Behemoth one best live band. This song kicks dwarf-teeth in, Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer, especially change-change at 4:03 in this vid. Gronk! listen again and again and again, but still Hail Gzoroth!!!
This one does make Cretos list but Gronk! want also say one thing bout Constricting Rage of the Merciless. It come with such fun song title as Fucked by Satan, errrr…me mean, FBS, but more fun to say Fucked by Satan, ahahahha!!!
Baring Teeth of Revolt seem like good idea to me. Album kicks many asses with a Cloven hoof. Sound to Gronk! like Ben and Sammy and Zack shoot up one syringe full of Motorhead and head off to deathened black metal races. Baring Teeth for Revolt rides Orgasmatron to Metalland, which bring up to usses favorite Metal But Not Music Stuffs of Suncycle and this thingy called:
Tyranny of Tradition Blog
Pope to Make Deceased Gwar Singer Oderus Urungus a Saint
Hahah, this one progressive Pope! Kidding aside, when usses post this on hit yourself in face with book account some humies ask, “Is this for real?” Usses repeat here same-same we said there, go read much many stories on Tyranny of Tradition blog and determine for yourselfies if it ‘real.’
But Gronk! say fuck the pope, him get executed each and every night by St. Oderus on Madness at the Core of Time Tour, indeed, every Gwar tour me can remember. What? Him try to save self from eternal execution by bribe Oderus in eternity? Him’s opinion not matter. But as Oak Pantheon asks in Architect of the Void part 2
Oh Grand Pantheon
Where have you gone?
Where indeed? Death to the Monotheon! Let Usses make our own metal Pantheon, since old Grand Pantheon has passed away in the efluvium of dead humie history goleminic sorcery of unnaturalness. Along with Great Gzoroth and Mother Chaos, Saint Oderus ascends to apotheosis for Hail one new epoch of orcs and humies in metal tribe. Usses metallers must stick apart. Hail Gzoroth! Hail Eris! Hail Oderus! Fnord.
Bestess Music But Not Metal – or maybe it original metal in Earthrealm?
Nevermind paper cover rock; Clay outlive paper! So ancient songs preserved in script call Cuneiform from long, long ago look much like how usses Urklud in Hirntodia claw, scratch or carve usses sigils into anything usses can get our pointy instruments into. It begin to frighten Gronk! just how much ancient stuffs in Earthrealm look like Urklud stuffs in Hirntodia. Make Gronk! think maybe Earthrealm and Hirntodia Realm much closer together at one aeon than just at Ancestor’s Eve (what youse call ‘Halloween’). Hmmm….
Manyways, You know so-call biblical flood? This album of ancient music called The Flood. Turn out it much, much older tale in ancient mid east of Earthrealm than bible story. Story of such found in Epic of Gilgamesh with characters such as Uptnapishtem and suches instead of Noah humie. Gronk! also hear of many other flood tales in Earthrealm ancient history beside.
But point be this: some humies found ancient songs scratched in clay. Humie woman and hers fellow minstrels recreate for youse what metal sound like in yon Ancient Land of Sumeria/Babylon, upon which bands like Behemoth and Melechesh take inspirations. This sound of primal metal played upon re-forged 4,500 year-old instrument called Lyre – first guitar in Earthrealm – with lyrics decoded from Clawneiform tablets make for some haunting listening when one wants for enjoy a dark, smokey night in the cave. (On side notice, meethinks youse also enjoy one of hers old projects of Anglo-Saxon musics called “Hord Songs”).
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Gronk! thought him finished, but this song so insidiously catchy chorus, it creep up into mind unbidden all the time. Sigh….
From album The Year the Sun Died. Can’t get it out! Can’t get it out! And it break rule of No Clean Singing once mores, cuz clearly Warrel Dane singing, but him one best in business at this stuffs and make even an orc like Clean Singing a bit.
Warrel Dane hammers the nail on Frozen. This one humie what understand situation and Axe Warrors Rutledge and Hull form one shredtastic duo from start to finish of whole album.
If everything is frozen, nothing feels the same
If the martyr is the chosen, welcome to the hollow game
If everything is frozen, only gods can feel the shame
If the circle is unbroken, welcome to the hollow game
Gorgeous Outer Shells.
Unbroken circle bring to mind Wyrm that Eats its Own Tail. Gronk! learn that Ouroboros one word in Earthrealm sinanonymous with Gzoroth, the Great Dragon of Hirntodia, so course Gronk! interested in band from Australia that name itself after Gzoroth – Hail Gzoroth! This Gronk!’s most look forward to album in 2015, so far.
Gronk! always big fan of Arch Enemy and must needs admit him a little skeptical when hear Alissa White-Gluz take over for battle maiden Angela Gassow on latest album War Eternal, but Gronk! hafta say Alissa do really brutal job, plus, as expected, Axe attacks chopping left and right all over place on album make for tasty music. Here’s one such tale.
No More Regrets
“We’re not misunderstood, We’re evil.” Remember? That’s usses bumper sticker, so usses take this opportunity for blameless self promotion. One spared humie named Brandon Raasch meet Gronk! at warrior training. Him fear for life, but offer create one game for fun and prophet for Usses in exchange for being Spared (much like usses spare Jed for teaches how make metal magick). Him create Dubious Alliance: Featuring A Band of Orcs.
It last time you get to see faces of Hulg and Gogog, who no more part of A Band of Orcs or Gore-Stained Axe Tribe. In this game you aim for gain prestige, while not die by loss of hit points. However, you must not let other orceses or party members die in process of winning, cuz if one member of party die, even fifth member of away team, then whole band of orcses loses. This one nother way which Game Not Resemble Reality, ahahhahah!!!
Brandon borrow Metal Tusks \w/ for when done playing hand. Humie-called-Brandon not disappoint in design, from Kickstarter campaign, to development, to playtest, to delivery – this done in best way possible. Him really spared. If youse care one humie womans write great review of card game from Noob’s pointy view.
Youse can check out official site here.
Wheh, Gronk! finish. If youse get this far, you have some eyeball fortitude and Gronk! hails youse!!! Hail NCS!!! Hail Islander!!!! Hail Gzoroth!!! Hail 2015!!!!