May 242015


(It’s Sunday, and therefore Father Synn returns with another Metal Confessional, ready once again to hear your sins and mete out the penance.  I believe the enjoyment of meting out penance is the principal reason why Father Synn became a man of the cloth. )

Truly this is a momentous edition of Father Synn’s Metal Confessional, for many of our loyal congregation will surely have sinned their happy little hearts out at MDF over the past few days, and will surely have a burning need to confess their crimes.
So to them I say… step forward, and be absolved! (Disclaimer: absolution not guaranteed)

But first, as always, let me bare myself before you once again!



1.  I occasionally re-order the track-listing of certain albums on my itunes to make them flow better.

2. “The Unforgiven II” might just be my favourite Metallica song.

3. Whisper Supremacy is my favourite Cryptopsy album.

4. Try as I might, I just can’t get into Converge.

5. I like big butts, and I cannot lie.



  1. These are probably some of my worst sins
    1. When I was in high school I predominately listened to bands like Bring me the Horizon, Suicide Silence and others like that. Those were dark days indeed..
    2. There was a time when my favorite record label was Sumerian Records. Now my favorite is Hells Headbangers, hopefully that absolves some of my past high school travesties.
    3. I’ve attended Warped Tour and Rockstar Uproar festival in the past. Once again, dark times.
    4. I often feel that Slayer is pretty overrated.

    Also, I preach the goodness of number 5. Other brothers cannot simply deny.

    • 1-3 describe my freshman year of high school painfully well. First concert was Uproar, and seeing BMTH on my birthday that year was, at the time, the best I would’be ever hoped for. Dark times indeed – thankfully I found death metal sophomore year.

    • The fact that Animals As Leaders is on Sumerian makes up for #2. Tosin n’ Crew are way too overqualified for that label IMO. (I like the faceless too)

    • I think it may be the “freshman phase” for a lot of metalheads really. I thought seeing Avenged Sevenfold was the best thing ever at the time. Very happy we both found death metal man

    • The only penance that can salvage your wounded soul is a day spent listening to nothing but GOATWHORE!!!

  2. I’m only posting this one, but something tells me Father Synn is going to be overwhelmed.

    I saw Five Finger Death Punch 8 times in 3 years, used to be on their street team promoting them both online and by putting up posters for them, and used to be friends with their singer & guitar players.

    Damnation, I’m sure, is impending.

  3. 1.. I still own a Chelse Grin shirt, granted I don’t wear it but it’s existence is still daunting.
    2. I used to be a Pit-Karate Kid
    3. I love Blasphemy but I think their stage costumes are pretty silly
    4. KoRn is still on my ipod
    5. I feel the same about Converge

    • Only physical pain can cleanse the stain of no. 2 from your soul. I recommend finding the nearest country bar and yelling out “Garth Brooks is my boyfriend” whilst wearing your Chelsea Grin tshirt.

      If you survive, your sins shall be washed clean.

  4. I made other choices and did not see these bands while attending MDF this year:

    1. Origin
    2. Suffocation
    3. Obituary
    4. Bloodbath
    5. Aeternus
    6. Razor
    7. Tsjuder

    • Bloodbath’s a tough one to miss, especially with Old Nick in the fold. MDF doesn’t really give you the satisfaction of seeing all that you want, what with time constraints and conflicts. I imagine it’s like the feeling when I seeing 3-4 awesome classes offered at the same time when picking classes for the next quarter, or wanting to take 10 classes when we have a 3-4 class limit.

    • you should be truly ashamed of yourself for missing 1-4. tsk, tsk.

    • No Suffocation, or Bloodbath, or Tsjuder?

      Yeah… you’re dead to me.

  5. 1,2, and 4 are some serious sacrilege if you ask me. If you get a chance to see Converge live you may be remedied of the latter.

    One confession comes to mind this week: it took me 8 months of living in Chicago to finally make it to Kuma’s Corner. Having been there, that’s 8 months of my stay here utterly wasted, culinarily.

  6. 1: I’m slowly getting into Deathcore/Metalcore, as I’ve avboided the scene for the most part during it’s heyday of the ’00s (exceptions: LoG, Shadows Fall, Killswitch)
    2: Even if it is purely high-school nostalgia, I like Linkin Parks first 2 albums.

    • I kind of went half and half with Meteora but Hybrid Theory was the jam.

    • Why would you want to get into Deathcore/Metalcore? That’s like slowly easing yourself into Ebola. Oh right, confessions.

      1. I was such a die-hard Metallica-fan that I used to sit with a pen and notebook by the stereo trying to write down the lyrics to both Load and ReLoad. Came up with some pretty hilarious interpretations.

      • There’s some decent deathcore and metalcore out there – it loans itself well to the disposable pop music worldview. As long as you know you’re in for straight to the point, simplistic and poppy music you can find the occasional gem.

        Im sure the lyrical interpretation to Mama Said must be absolutely fascinating, too.

        • ..but why?

          I mean youre basically stating ….”instead of listening to this really cool and amazingly varied music I think I’ll try this dumbed down, derivative version because a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut”

          • There are two frames of mind. There’s the “I have all the time in the world because I will live forever” attitude, in which time can be spared for music like this and Twitter. And there’s the “I have less time ahead of me than I have behind me and I’ll never get that minute back” point of view. I think you know which group I’m in.

      • If only I slowly introduced myself to ebola…that would be worthy of a spot on THAT’S METAL BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC…

        I saw All Shall Perish in 2007 in Kansas. The Red Chord was headlining. I’m still a big fan of the Red Chord, but whether they are deathcore, grindcore, or something else IDK. I recent;y gave a listen to every band on the bill the other day to see how my tastes have evolved:
        The whole bill was:
        The Red Chord (hell yeah!)
        All Shall Perish (the first few albums are decent, but the last album had some laughably poppy, hot-topic worthy tracks)
        Despised Icon (meh…give or take)
        Through The Eyes Of The Deadf (see above)
        See You Next Tuesday (full of WTF awesome imo)

    • As punishment you now have to listen to the remix of “Crawling” on repeat for six hours whilst locked in a darkened room repeatedly flagellating yourself with your wallet chain.

  7. Actually I’ve been pretty good recently. Anyone hear the new Veil of Maya record?

  8. I’ve shook Phil Labonte’s hand before. I crossed paths with him at a Mayhem show and explained to him that my friend was too much of a wuss (huge ATR fan) to come up and say Hi so I was doing it for him. Basically doing an icebreaker routine so he would say Hi to my friend.

    They don’t make water hot enough you guys.

    • When it comes to Converge, I do Jane Doe, You Fail Me and Axe To Fall. Never could get into No Heroes and All We Love, though I do think All We Love is a vicious album.

    • I’ve heard Phil is a total douche bag/asshat/jerk-hole

    • When they had Tim Yeung behind the kit for a short time my friend basically sex-pested him for an entire evening by accident. True story.

  9. 1. When I drive I put the music on my phone on shuffle. If a metal song comes on, 9/10 times I skip it.
    2. Darkthrone shirt guy was at the gym again, I watched him do squats for an uncomfortably long period of time and did the whole turn-your-head-really-fast-and-pretend-you-weren’t-staring thing that I used to do to girls when I was in middle school and high school.
    3. Whenever I hangout with my brother, I have to ask “who is this” whenever he’s listening to something. I couldn’t recognize The Enslaved, Ne Obvliscary or Tupac (not metal, but seems like the constant go to rapper for metalheads).
    4. Looking at MDF’s lineup, there were maybe 4 bands that I would’ve considered watching.
    5. Try as I might, I can’t get into much metal that isn’t Converge.

    • “4. Looking at MDF’s lineup, there were maybe 4 bands that I would’ve considered watching.”

      If thats true, then Im genuinely sad for you

    • Your honesty is appreciated. However, I have a feeling your penance will be the suffering of legend.

    • Self-immolation seems perhaps a fair and equitable way for you to atone for this multitude of sins.

  10. I’ve been fairly good these last few weeks, including getting a ticket to see Abbath @ Tuska this summer (in about a month).
    And I finally bought a Bathory album! The first one at that.
    Still trying to figure out which cover version (of Bathory’s Sacrifice) is better (the punked out one of Death Metal one) (Trollheims Grott: Punked out version)
    or (Death Breath: Death Metal version)

    Who is Converge?
    Manowar still sucks

  11. I can’t find an ounce of enjoyment in Between the Buried and Me’s music
    The new Faith No More album is like… decent I guess…
    The new Deftones album is one of the few releases I’m genuinely excited for
    All I’ve been listening to the past few weeks is Every Time I Die’s new album and I should hate metalcore but that album is just so fucking intense

  12. I only own one album apiece by Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and Judas Priest. And I don’t listen to them all that often.

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