Sep 062015



(Father Synn returns after 4 weeks of intense purification so that he may once again hear all your disgusting metal sins. Please leave them in the Comments so all that “purification” won’t be wasted.)

Rejoice my children, for I am returned to you from my wanderings! 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness… or at least, it feels like that. Time flies when you’re drinking/carousing/shirking your priestly duties…

So once more I come before you burdened with the weight of truths yet untold and words yet unspoken. Let me be as a light to you in the darkness, a balm to your wounded soul, a… canary in a particularly pungent coal mine.

Let me lead you. And where I go, thou shalt follow, into the arms of metallic salvation!




Let the congregation bear witness, for these are my sins:

  1. I don’t really care one way or the other that Black Sabbath are (finally) throwing in the towel. It’s probably long overdue though.
  2. I’ve never listened to a single Blaze Bailey-era Iron Maiden album…
  3. Or a single Ripper Owens-era Judas Priest album.
  4. “Starless Aeon” is one of my favourite Dissection songs. In fact I probably listen to Reinkaos more often than I do The Somberlain.
  5. As much as I love them… I still think Inquisition would be even better with a bassist.

Now it’s your turn to reciprocate. The old “sacred reach-around” as we call it.

So get to it. I don’t have all day!




  1. 1) You dont care that we’re seeing the end of the band that basically started it all? I mean, even if your not a Sabbath fan, thats kind of a big moment in heavy metal history (..and while “13” was pretty “meh” because Ozzy is basically useless, 2009’s “The Devil You Know” was awesome and makes me wonder what else they could have done if Dio was still with us)

    2) Nor should you

    3) Nor should you

    4) “Reinkaos” would have to stand on a chair to kiss “The Somberlains” butt 🙂

    5) I saw The Transporter Refueled last night and I was actually entertained

    • Well, you see… the point of these columns is to CONFESS things that might otherwise go unspoken… so…

      1. Yes. That’s correct. Of course I respect the band as progenitors of the style, but I’ve never liked them. Also Ozzy has a terrible voice. And, ultimately, all bands have to come to an end at some point. I’ll be interested to see what happens to fill the void left in their wake though. And, of course, if they come back sometime down the road because Sharon needs a new house.

      4. Not… really a confession, is it?

      5. Nope. Unforgivable.

  2. I saw Black Sabbath at Ozzfest 2005 and Im perfectly okay with that being my one time seeing them.

  3. After initially being kind of “meh” on the new Myrkur album, I’ve come to enjoy it more and more. I know that I now have to turn in my Tr00 Kvlt card and get a Social Justice Warrior card, but are there additional penances I must endure?

  4. 1. I’ve listened to all the new Slayer singles so many times I already know all the words. I don’t have a problem. You have a problem. Stop judging me.
    2. I love Iron Maiden and I think the stuff I’ve heard from the new album sounds great as usual. But I’m way more excited for the new Duran Duran. I can’t help it. With the exception of a new single or live video, I just don’t enjoy metal with clean vocals anymore. I recognize talented vocalists and good songs but i can’t sit through an entire album of it, i get bored and antsy before the first track is over. But for some weird reason my brain makes an exception for certain pop artists, mostly 80s bands, and occasionally country. At some point in the last 10 or so years my wiring became seriously fucked and this is how I am now. Stop judging me.
    3. Though there are certain “swedish death metal” bands that still love and listen to regularly, I think i’m officially burnt out on the mega fuzzed out chainsaw guitar sound. Between that, drop tuning, and the current trend in metal mixing which puts drums and vocals above all the other instruments, I can’t even tell what the guitars are doing anymore. I’m sure there’s some great riffs in those songs but i can’t hear them. And I’m sure that’s a big part of why i’ve become obsessed with early 90s American death metal. You can actually hear the guitars and the notes their playing. And they sound awesome. Stop Judging me.
    4. I’m done with Metal Sucks, Metal Injection, and other metal blogs of that nature. I’m so sick of the negativity, click bait posts, gossip, and cruel attacks on amateur bands. Maybe that kind of stuff is what’s hip now and I’m just showing my age. I don’t care. Stop judging me.
    5. I recently ended my boycott of Hamburger Helper. I got burnt out on it and had to take an extended break. But I’m back to eating it again and it’s awesome. And Walmart has a huge selection to choose from. You can take yourself out of the trailer park but you can’t take the trailer park out of you. Stop Judging me.

  5. 1. Even though Jeff Lorber is a piece of shit I still bought and really enjoy the new Enabler album.

    2. Same goes for the last Nachtmystium.

    3. I’m also passing on Black Sabbath even though they’re playing in my city

  6. 1. I purchased this shirt last week:
    2. There has been many great releases already this year, but I would have to say the release I am most excited about is Ling Tosite Sigure’s mini album, Es or S.
    3. I have not listened to any Blaze Bailey-era Maiden either.
    4. Nor any Ripper Owens-era Priest.
    5. Haven’t listened to the newest Cattle Decapitation records, Monolith of Inhumanity or The Anthropocene Extinction. I doubt I will go too far out of my way to hear them either.

    • You’re only hurting your own satisfaction by missing out on the last two Cattle albums. But yes, can’t say I’ve ever listened to Blaze Maiden or Ripper Priest (speaking of which, Ripper Priest sounds like a great band name.

    • Okay, I guess I am now going to have to find out who or what Ling Tosite Sigure is.

      • J-rock/indie rock. Music is amazing. Vocals may turn some listeners away due to the high-pitched,squeaky nature of them. I’d recommend the records ‘imperfect’ and ‘inspiration is dead’, although all their stuff is great, if you care about this sort of thing.

  7. I’ve never been able to see Black Sabbath before for various reasons (mostly the fact that the majority of their career happened before I was born), so I will without a doubt be there for their Chicago show. And while Sharon will certainly have another go at it a few years down the line, I honestly don’t know if Iommi will be able to after this, or if he’ll even be alive by that time. So this probably won’t be the last Black Sabbath tour, but it could be the last with Iommi, which if you ask me is the most integral part of the band.

    • Without Iommi there is no Sabbath and I dont mean that in a meta kind of way. Literally, without Iommi, Sharon and Ozzy cant do jack with the name.

  8. 1. I grew up with Black Sabbath. I won’t say how old I was when I was growing up with them. Though they were huge to me then, I’ve had little use for anything after Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (due in part to a change in my musical tastes), and certainly have no interest in seeing an over-the-hill Ozzy tottering around on stage. I’d rather live with my memories.

    2. I did not grow up with Iron Maiden and have no nostalgic reason to listen to them. And though I’m sure it’s blasphemous to say this, I get tired of their music very fast,

    3. Ditto for Judas Priest, though I like them better than Maiden,

    4. Somewhere up above, SurgicalBrute summed up my thoughts on your confession #4.

    5. I’m happy with Inquisition just the way they are, but I confess that I have a real weakness for 2-person bands.

  9. 1. I think Sulphur Aeon is one of the best death metal bands of all time even though they’ve only made 2 albums.
    2. New Slayer is out and I don’t give a shit.
    3. New Maiden is out and I don’t give a shit.
    4. Sabbath is calling it a day and I don’t give a shit.
    5. I can’t get into the new Wolfheart despite my love for Winterborn 🙁
    6. I over hyped the MGLA record to lots of people like a newbie fanboy – it’s a good album but doesn’t have much staying power.
    7. I’m more excited for the new Stratovarius record than I was for the new Nile.

  10. 1. I’ve listened to the new Slayer album numerous times and the lasting impression I take away each time is how good the drum production sound. Songs? *shrugs*

    2. Metal sucks is really a negative hole of bullying and idiot comments. I’m tired of it, makes me appreciate NCS and AMG so much more for being constructive.

    3. That being said, as much as I love NCS you guys exhaust me. There’s only time for me to listen to 10% of the songs/bands you write about and it makes me swing between despair and apathy. 1st world problems, I guess.

    • Your last point is one I understand and do actually worry about — the problem of overloading people, and perhaps risking that some outstanding things get lost (even though we think everything we write about is outstanding). But at least I (and probably everyone else around here) feels a compulsion — I hear something, I get excited, I start pecking away at the keyboard (over and over and over again). 🙂

      • I wouldnt worry about it too much. I think most of us have an almost compulsive need to listen to as much music as we can, but the honest truth is that stuff will always falls through the cracks…theres just no way to keep up with everything. The best you can really do for a band is to draw attention to what you like and hope the right person sees it at the right time

      • Well, in a way it really isn’t a problem since I’ve come to use NCS as a kind of repository (not suppository as fucking autocorrect suggested) for good, unknown stuff. Sometimes I get a weird promo or stumble upon some unknown song and then I always check if NCS has written anything about them. Chances are that you have, and I can dig deeper thanks to your articles and links.

        Also, there’s so much music coming out daily that without you posting about them I’d never know about it.

        • Thank you (I’m so glad you decided to correct autocorrect so we were not referred to as a suppository — so many others have called us that, it’s getting kind of old).

  11. Forgive me, Father….

    1. Perturbator is metal as fuck.
    2. As a black dude, I love (early)Burzum and Inquisition(though I agree they need a bassist).
    3. I wish more bands released vinyl records, I don’t collect CDs and I’m in no hurry to pay for downloads.
    4. I have no idea why he calls himself ‘Matron Thorn’.
    5. If I could bring back one artist, I’d be Nujabes.

  12. 1. It’s 2015 and I think it should be illegal to care about Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden and Slayer (extend this to any band formed prior to 1995)
    2. I’ve listened to nothing but FKA Twigs for the last week.
    3. I’m thinking about going to the current Godflesh tour, but just to see Prurient.
    4. That dude who said metal got “old, fat and bald” is fucking right.
    5. I have an unconfirmed accusation that Cattle Decapitation is a gimmick band and I refuse to re-evaluate my stance.

    • I’m trying to figure out how I started out reading about Black Sabbath and wound up being induced to check out Ling Tosite Sigure and FKA Twigs. I’m beginning to think this Metal Confessional column is a bad idea.

    • 4. Bollocks.

    • “1. It’s 2015 and I think it should be illegal to care about Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden and Slayer (extend this to any band formed prior to 1995)”

      Yes…we should forget all about bands like Enslaved, Vader, Meshuggah, Evoken, The Chasm, Incantation, etc…Clearly bands like this have produced nothing of worth in the last 20 years

  13. 1. The first cassette tape I ever bought was MASTER OF REALITY (yeah I’m old, and?). That said, I haven’t listened to anything “new” by Sabbath since BORN AGAIN–which wasn’t really all that bad. Ozzy loves you.

    2. I saw Maiden twice in high school (yeah I’m old, and?) but the closest I’ve ever come to listening to the Blaze stuff is that Godspeed! You Black Emperor song where some right-wing nut job tries to pass off BBIII lyrics as his own poem. Worth a listen if you’ve never heard it. Fucking frightening.

    3. I spend lots of money on music (yeah, I’m old, okay I’ll give that a rest) but these days I also download lots of free band camp stuff that I never even get around to listening to. This is related to some of the comments above but I can’t help this icky feeling that I’m devaluing my own experience with music by not giving things the attention they deserve. We all know some of our favorite music sounded “meh” the first time around and only revealed itself gradually–and awesomely. 1st world problem for sure, but still a problem. Guess I’ll have to start exercising willpower. Shit.

    4. Joining the loveliest here, but it bears confession: I am beyond thankful to have found a site with good writing, great tips to beautiful music, and, for the first time in so very long, comment threads that don’t leave me disillusioned as smug old men tend to be. Keep on keep on keep on.

    • Thank you sir. And by the way, my theory is that being old means you do not have to exercise willpower. It’s like a bell curve tracing time — no willpower at the front end, and none at the back end, and a bunch of dull responsibility in the middle. What else is getting old good for?

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