Late yesterday afternoon I arrived at a secret location near Bonner, Montana, where I am spending the weekend at the behest of my fucking day job (except at times like this my day job is very fucking good to me). I can’t tell you what I am doing or I would have to kill you.
One thing I am not doing: listening to metal. I haven’t had much time to myself, and the people I am with probably wouldn’t understand if I jammed earbuds in my ears and started ignoring them. So, the round-up I had planned for today ain’t going to happen. I do have a premiere planned for tomorrow, but beyond that, I may not get anything else done for NCS.
However, because I hate to post anything that doesn’t include music, please enjoy an advance track from the forthcoming debut album by Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum from Minsk, Belarus.
I know you may have some trouble making your mouth form the shapes necessary to pronounce the band’s name, but I’m sure you’ll have better luck with the album title, especially because I’m both enlarging the font and truncating the title:
Prajecyrujučy Sinhuliarnaje Wypramieńwańnie Daktryny Absaliutnaha J Usiopahłynaĺnaha Zła Skroź Šaścihrannuju Pryzmu Sîn-Ahhī-Erība Na Hipierpawierchniu Zadyjakaĺnaha Kaŭčęha Zasnawaĺnikaŭ Kosmatęchničnaha Ordęna Palieakantakta...
No? Still having trouble. Well, surely you’ll be able to handle the title of the song, especially because I’m truncating it:
“Imknieńnie Apantanaści Hniewu Sębęka Da Słupoŭ Twaręńnia Ruin Aššurbanipała Skroź Zabaronieny Šliach Ęmpiryjakrytycyzmu Miedytatyŭnych Pahłyblieńniaŭ Ćiomnych Zaklinaĺnikaŭ Pustyni Ŭšęścia Płutona...”
See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?
The song kicks massive amounts of ass.
What a curious coincidence — this band’s name is exactly the same as the diabolical sound I make when I sneeze.
That sounds like a serious condition. As a trained medical professional, I’d recommend routing out your sinuses with a power drill. I’ve had good luck with the Bosch 120-Volt 1 in. SDS-Plus Corded BullDog Extreme Rotary Hammer.
He’s gonna need an adapter to 220 V, and I recommend bypassing the fuse-box with a 12 AWG coil, preferably an intrauterine-inductive such to avoid Electromagnetic Infertilely. My advice as a trained, drunk and raving mad ac/dc-oucheuse.
It’s this kind of cutting edge medical assistance that brings the mega traffic to our site. It’s hard to find life-saving medical assistance at most metal blogs.
Hahahaha…. 😀 Now those titles definitively takes the cake and puts icing on it at the same time. Even google translate was left dumbfounded with its tail between its legs. I even think one of the processors on a sub-server had a nervous meltdown after peeing its pants or sutin.
Cool music, though. Will it be released on Udawajmy to niektóre długie i dziwne nazwy, które tak naprawdę nie znaczy nic użyteczne, a raczej po prostu po prostu składa się z gównem będziemy Records?
You’re killing me.
Just saw a comment on our Facebook page that reads as follows:
“The name of the record translates to “Projecting the singular emission ov the Doctrine ov Absolute and All-Absorbing Evil through the hexahedral prism ov Sîn-Ahhī-Erība upon the hypersurface ov zodiacal arc ov the cosmotechnical order ov paleocontact founders the utterly ancient hypostases ov pre-axes civilizations actuate the resonance transformer ov temporally similar to the eternity ov the future in the towers ov Nwn-Hu-Kek-Amon’s obcervatory embodying the ashes ov Alulim into the ethereal matter to the west ov exoplanet PSRB 1620-26b”
Oh lord and saucier. My brain is boiling and I understand even less now than what I wasn’t able to make head or tail of from the “Polish” (or what ever) title. System overload. Time to pass out.
May you have sweet dreams in the towers ov Nwn-Hu-Kek-Amon’s obcervatory embodying the ashes ov Alulim into the ethereal matter to the west ov exoplanet PSRB 1620-26b.
Thank you, but I fear you’ve been bitten by the infecting germ that came attached to the music, good medicineman. You might want to rout out a small part of your frontal lobe by using an CutX 2022 hedge trimmer with built in 3kW power amplifier. But than again, I’m no doctor, I’m just trying to kill you, remember?
Thank you for the helpful advice. However, having previously removed significant portions of my frontal lobe in other procedures involving power tools, I’ve been advised by the people at Home Depot (a local provider of lobotomy devices and lumber) to give it a rest.
Their name and song titles are no worse than some of the stories I’ve had to edit from Journalism I students. The music is kick ass!
I’ll have a few things for you this week (hopefully).
Thank you sir. Hope your last week went well.
Killer track! have a nice break! 🙂
Thank you. It’s been a blast so far.
Track is fucking good stuff though, looking forward to hearing the full album.
Me too. I’m expecting a full-on berserker rampage.
These titles are definitely what I say when Goofle Chrome stops responding – which is pretty often given the age of my laptop.
You need to visit the Bandcamp page and check the other song titles. They’ve tortured the alphabet within an inch of its life.
That fucking alphabet deserved it. Five year olds world wide will rejoice that humans have given back some suffering to this ‘alpha-bet’! – honestly, where does it get off calling itself after the first two letters in a sequence, when there’s actually 26. Deceptive from the start.
Not only that, but it’s supposed to be built based on “phonetic” properties.
Letters like A and I are pronouncing with many different sounds.
It doesn’t have a letter for the phonetic sounds off a good sneeze or those African clicking sounds.
And what’s the deal with C anyway, wobbling between K and S like a transvestite.
That fucking alphabet deserves it, indeed.
Wow what a name,I got carpal tunnel just looking at it.
If it weren’t for copy-paste functionality my hands would be paralyzed
Imagine these guys live? after introducing themselves and then introducing a song the gigs over xD
On the plus side, the band wouldn’t need to spend a lot of time practicing their songs. On the downside, they could swallow their tongues trying to enunciate the song titles and choke to death on stage.
I’d pay to see that lol.
Luckily, there’s still about 10 weeks to get used to the thought of this album breaking my music folder structure and MP3 tags…
Does anyone know any good OCD rehab facility?
Oh, fuck. There goes my spotless MP3-tag record.
10 weeks to learn the moniker and album title by heart. Come on, you can do it!