Jul 022011

Man oh man, have we got a boffo THAT’S METAL! installment for you today. I did have lots of help — suggestions from NCS readers Ullr, ElvisShotJFK, and Phro. Lots of material, all of which are items that we think are metal, even if they’re not music (or not entirely music). So, with no further fucking around, let’s get to it:


Thanks to Ullr, I have a news report that includes all these facts:

  • In Australia, there’s an ocean tour operator named Matt Waller who makes a good living taking tourists out for a look at Great White sharks (you know, the really big, prehistoric motherfuckers that were in all the Jaws movies)
  • Many of the tourists Mr. Waller takes out on his boat want to see Great Whites up close and personal, so he lowers them down into the water in shark cages (is this metal, or is this just severe mental impairment?)
  • Mr. Waller has discovered that he can lure Great White sharks into the vicinity of the shark cages by playing metal underwater — specifically, AC/DC. He says it works better than chum. According to Waller, “We know the AC/DC music works best by trial and error, and we are doing more research to see what works best with different species of shark.”
  • The AC/DC songs that work best are “You Shook Me All Night Long” and “If You Want Blood”. (Is this perfect, or what?)
  • Mr. Waller says: “Quite often we see the sharks on the surface, but most of the time our guests want to get in the cage and see them up close. I’ve seen the sharks rub their faces on the cage where the sound is coming from as if to feel it.” (Ain’t that just too fucken cute?)

(more after the jump . . .)

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Apr 052010

In varying degrees of intensity, your three NCS Co-Authors are all baseball fans. And for baseball fans, today is a magical day, just as it is every year, because today is Opening Day of the Major League Baseball season. (Yeah, we know the fucking Yankees played the fucking Red Sox last night — and they’re welcome to each other — but that didn’t make yesterday “Opening Day”).

The slate of the preceding season is wiped clean, all things are new, and all things are possible. Of course, none of that is really true, but it’s the fate of diehard baseball fans to get their hopes up as Opening Day approaches, even when the rational part of their brains tells them to wise-the-fuck-up.

And so it goes here in Seattle. Our beloved but hapless Mariners had an unexpectedly improved season in 2009, the team was upgraded (at least on paper) in the off-season, and we’re hoping for bigger and better things this year (while trying to ignore the truly sucky offensive showing in spring training).

Off the top of our heads, we don’t know of any extreme metal songs about baseball to commemorate this occasion. Do you? But one association between baseball and metal does come to mind, so we’ll go with that. (see what we mean, after the jump . . .) Continue reading »