Jun 242012

“Metal Kitty” by bloodspit.

(This post was written by Phro. He brings us head asplody things.)

In the metal world, there seems to be a lot of anger, hate, filth, and skullfucking. I approve of this. In fact, I approve of this so hard that I sometimes get rage boners for no other reason than that I love how much negativity there is in the metal world. That said, a bit of humor goes a long way to making a good band a great band. And a shitty band an almost tolerable band.

But what we don’t have (for better or for worse) is much cuteness.

Now, that’s to be expected when you get a lot of misanthropes, bitter assholes, badasses, and posers all in the same general area. (I’ll let you decide for yourself which one of the four you are.) But, hey, it’s the weekend, so you have some free time to remove the corpse paint, take off the studded bracelets, hide in your room, and indulge in a little childish, high-pitched squealing and giggling.


Baby Metal has released a new video. I love it. I’m not being ironic, sarcastic, or coy. It’s just fucking absolutely nothing more than shitty Jpop with a few rejected riffs and some random douchebag doing “death metal growls” in the background. But I still love it. (I may have brain damage.) Continue reading »

Apr 152012


I’m still trying to get my head fully back into metal, but this isn’t exactly the re-introduction I was anticipating. My friend Ian sent me a link to this video. The performance is by a band called Children Medieval Band, whose members are Stefan (10) – vocal, guitar, violin; Olga (8) – keyboard; and Cornelia (5) – drum, harp. They were trained using EarPower software. They have put their 21st Century training to use by covering . . . Rammstein.

The uploader of the video explains: “Rammstein has some amazing compositions, likeable to younger kids.” I’ve thought the same thing! Just wait ’til these kiddies run Rammstein’s “Pussy” through that EarPower software. They’ll be humming the refrain for days and days.

But maybe their parents should wait until the kids are older before exposing them to the wonders of the uncensored “Pussy” video. Y’know, until Cornelia gets to be 9 or 10 years old.

In case the video of the kids getting medieval with Rammstein’s “Sonne” has whetted your appetite for the original, it’s after the jump. Continue reading »