Dec 252009

Yesterday was a banner day at NCS. More posts in a single day than we’ve managed before. In the category of listmania, we reported about Decibel‘s list of The Top 25 Most Anticipated Records of 2009 and Revolver‘s list of The 20 Best Albums of 2009, and we added the 9th entry to our own list of The Ten Most Infectious Extreme Metal Songs of 2009. We gave you a Brutal Truth update, the latest burning-goat news from Gavle, Sweden, and a little something to make you nervous on Christmas Eve. Just goes to show what we can accomplish when we get a break from the day jobs. Maybe you now wish we’d get fewer vacation days.

Today your NCS Authors are resting from our labors — except for arguing about which song should be our tenth and final entry on the Most Infectious list. Assuming we can sort that out and there’s still one of us alive to post the result, we’ll do that tomorrow.

In the meantime, the turkey awaits, and he’s looking kinda nervous.

Hope all of you have a peaceful day. Come see us again tomorrow.

Dec 242009

Yes, Christmas Eve is upon us again. Unless you’re very lucky, you’ve already heard during this holiday season a rendition of “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town” by one or more of the thousand douchebags who’ve recorded it.  First performed in November 1934 on Eddie Cantor’s radio show, and the fucking thing just won’t go away. The song has been inflicted on generations of kids, basically as a way of scaring them into being “good.” You know the lyrics:

He sees you when you’re sleeping,
He knows when you’re awake.
He knows when you’ve been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake.

Seriously, that’s some nasty shit.  And you, gentle readers — that song can’t make you feel very cozy. If you’re reading this site, then you can’t possibly have been very good — and as the perpetrators of an extreme metal site, it goes without saying that we hope you’ve been very, very bad.

Of course, that means your home won’t be visited tonight by the jolly old elf with the rosy cheeks and the “Ho! Ho! Ho!” You’ll be visited by the nasty looking orc up at the top of this post who’s decided your liver would taste yummy with a nice chianti and a side of fava beans. When he shrieks “Ho! Ho! Ho!”, it’s an accusation.

Santa Claus appears to have his roots in pre-Christian pagan traditions prevalent in Northern Europe. (See, e.g., our post earlier today about burning the goat.) So if even the jolly Santa is fundamentally a pagan figure, just imagine how brootally pagan Evil Santa is. No doubt the soundtrack accompanying his grisly visit to your abode tonight will sound something like this:

Marduk: Into Utter Madness

And in case you have trouble deciphering the lyrics from Evil Santa’s aforesaid theme song, here’s a taste:

Ever faithful — to unfaithfulness
Endlessly truthful — to untruthfulness
[We’re skipping this line to, uh, protect the children]
Thus my Ascension bound — to boundlessness

Nighty night! Don’t let the bed bugs bite.