Nov 112010

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest post is by ElvisShotJFK, one of our most faithful and interesting commentators. And this post, in our humble opinion, is just outright far-sighted. Seriously. Stay with it to the end. And if you’re not familiar with the Cube reference, go here.]

So, a while back, I was on my way to work, as I do several times a week. Nothing unusual about that, but I took a different route, having gone to the store beforehand. As I was walking along, I saw a peculiar sight and crossed the street to get a better look. To my surprise, it was a large cube in someone’s front yard. But it wasn’t any ordinary cube, although cubes on the grass aren’t exactly an everyday sight.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen… it was the Cube.

But why was it there? It had taken out a garden gnome, rather violently in fact. Cubes are good for that. I think the pink flamingos must have called in a hit on the smiling, bearded bastard or something. I took a picture of the grisly scene, but that picture is/was on a dead hard drive from a now dead computer. I wonder if simply having a picture of the Cube caused my computer to go berserk?

Anyway, after taking a few pictures, I suddenly had the urge to reach out and touch the Cube. Common sense should have told me not to do so, but it’s the Cube, for Cube’s sake! I blacked out for a while. When I came to, I found myself in different surroundings, but that wasn’t all. I had been transported ten years into the future.

No, the world doesn’t come to an end at the end of 2012. Sorry. In protest, misanthropic metalheads burned copies of Judas Priest’s Nostradamus because ‘that old, dead French guy got it wrong’. Of course, a lot of other people were upset, except the suicide cults, who weren’t around to be pissed about it.

Peer into the future, after the jump. . . Continue reading »