Dec 302009

Two days in a row now, and Blabbermouth has posted news items that have cracked me up. Like yesterday, I figured you might could use a good laugh too.

Item No. 1 comes to us from Bulgaria. Clearly, I’m deficient in my knowledge of Bulgarian metal. Otherwise, I already would have heard of the band whose photo is above — Insmouth (not to be confused with Dominican Republic black metal band Innsmouth).  According to Blabbermouth, which undoubtedly is just reprinting a press release from the band, Insmouth (spelled with one “n”) had established itself as a “legendary outfit” before breaking up in 2003 when the guitarist married a Brazilian sports reporter and moved to Brazil.

Can’t tell you how relieved I am to see that Bulgarian metal bands know how to give their fans the finger just like U.S. bands. Anyway, here’s the breaking news from Bulgaria:

The original lineup of INSMOUTH, Bulgaria’s most influential crossover band, will reunite for a performance at Tangra Mega Rock radio’s fourth birthday party on March 24, 2010 at Universiada Hall in Sofia. Also scheduled to appear are ER MALUK and ODD CREW.

Before going on an indefinite hiatus in autumn 2003, INSMOUTH enjoyed a triumphant five-year career, establishing itself as a legendary outfit on the undergound scene. The band released two albums — “3D Freak Accelerator” (1999) and “Cross Over The Crossover” (2002) — as well as the “Lara-Croft” EP (2000), with tracks like “Shakalakamuthafaka”,“Despair”“Sexulted” and “Freak” becoming firm fan favourites.

I don’t know about you, but the thought of a song called “Shakalakamuthafaka” is already making me firm.

I tried desperately to find a download of the tune, because I just know with a name like that it’s got to be good.  (Remember that ad slogan for Smucker’s jelly?)  Alas, no luck in scrounging a copy of “Shakalakamuthafaka.”  But just in case you’ve got a calendar conflict on March 24 and can’t catch the reunion performance at Tangra Mega Rock, I did find a video of Insmouth (one “n” dammit!) performing “Lara Croft.” Kinda like a Bulgarian version of Disturbed, but worse. But hey, if you wanna be the first kids on your block to say you’ve listened to Bulgarian metal, check it out here.

Item No. 2 comes to us by way of Estonia and a “fierce pagan metal band” band called Urt.  Which reportedly means “Soul of Death” in the South Estonian language called Setu.  (Stupid me, I thought Urt was the sound you make after finishing a six-pack of PBR). Anyway, here’s the breaking news from Estonia (after the jump):

Drummer/main songwriter Thon of Estonian fierce pagan metallers URT has issued the following update:

“In 2010 URT will start with the next opus. We have already written nine basics and have already started playing five of the new songs. But will start seriuosly in January.

“This will be great to work again on new stuff. The pause has been already over five months with no full-lineup rehersals. We can also say that this time we are going for a different studio, so we are all excited about everything… So summer/autumn 2010 we will hit the studio hard!” . . .

Working songtitles set to appear on the next CD include:

Pimedusemürgiga Valatud
Verijõgi Varjuta
Viimne Surmatants

I’m glad these are only working song titles.  There’s still time for Urt to rename one of them “Shakalakamuthafaka.”

Until the new album drops, you can listen to this song from the band’s 2009 album. The song is called “Homo Homini Lupus Est,” which I believe is Latin for “eating those grits will give you lupus.”  It’s fierce.  It’s pagan.  It’s metal.

Urt: Homo Homini Lupus Est

Item No. 3 comes to us by way of Virginia and a band we actually like:  Arsis.  The breaking news is that Arsis has posted a new song on their MySpace page, called “Forced to Rock” from their forthcoming album due for a North American release in February.  I guess “Forced to Rock” is an OK song title, but it doesn’t make me firm like “Shakalakamuthafaka.”

The news about the new song isn’t what’s funny.  What’s funny is the juxtaposition on Blabbermouth of an Arsis band photo and a quote from guitarist/vocalist James Malone.  First, the quote:

“How can I better the world? This is the question that I asked myself when writing ‘Forced To Rock’. I eventually came to the conclusion that the death metal world needed an anthem. Sure, it may not be the cure for cancer, but it is fun and fun is something that I feel is lacking in a lot of the music out there today. It’s music, it’s not saving lives; there is no reason to be serious 100% of the time. Tongue in cheek or foot in mouth; I am probably not the proper authority to comment on the matter.”

Now the photo:


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