(Continuing with today’s theme, i.e., surrendering NCS to guest contributors, the inimitable Trollfiend let me talk him into reviewing the new EP from an Italian folk-metal band called Krampus.)
Okay, when I was asked to do a review of the new Krampus EP Kronos’ Heritage, I was pretty damn excited, because a) Krampus is folk metal, and I make no secret of my love, b) the Krampus is one of the coolest folk legends pretty much ever, and c) I’d never heard of them before, so yay new shit!
But I approached this album with trepidation. What if they sucked? What if, despite their cool-ass name/logo/concept and the fact that they are folk metal, they compiled into an awesome black hole of suckitude from which not even Norwegians could escape? If you know anything about folk metal, you will know that this is not an unreasonable fear.
After some half-assed research (which is the only kind of research I know how to do here at the Trollcave), I discovered that Krampus is an 8-piece band from Italy that plays Celtic-inspired folk metal. Okay, so far so good (with a small serving of lolwut). Also, they fully embrace the legend of the Krampus as a theme, which gets them extra points from me. But the real test was coming… what does Krampus sound like? More to my concern, are their vocals some kind of clean, hippie-esque trololol that is going to set my teeth on edge and make me lump them into a big stinky pile with bands like Kamelot and Skyclad?
Well, I’m happy to say that Krampus doesn’t suck Satan’s balls through a garden hose. They’re actually pretty damn good. They do a mostly seamless job of marrying the folk and the metal, without the muddy confusion you sometimes get with bands that have more than four members (I’m looking at YOU, Folkearth). Let me clear one thing up: Krampus is not a folk band with a bit of distorted guitar, it’s a metal band with folk elements. They do it all, really, on this one little 3-track EP. There’s even some clean vocals on the first song (which I confess I wasn’t too fond of, but some people like that sort of thing, in the same way that some people like amputee porn). There’s some synth, for you fans of the melodic; there’s peppy wind instruments, for you Ren Faire folk; and best of all, the main vocalist’s voice sounds like he ate the Krampus backwards and is trying to dislodge the spiky bit (i.e., all of it) from his throat.
Oh, yeah, the Krampus. I can’t let this pass without getting on my academic hobby-horse…hide yo kids, hide yo wives, I’m a get all pedantic up in here so you can run tell dat.
The Krampus is a legend associated with certain parts of central Europe (Austria, Bavaria, and so forth). It’s a pretty basic concept: it’s the Anti-Claus. While Jolly Old St. Nick is coming to your house to bring presents to all the GOOD little girls and boys, the colon-clenchingly frightening Krampus is following along behind him with presents for the BAD little girls and boys. And by “presents”, I mean rocks, boiling kettles and whippings.
So be good, for fuck’s sake, or you’ll get your ass beat by something that looks like the bastard love child of a Satanic goat and a dead prostitute. Seriously, how metal is that? They have Krampus festivals in Europe, which (if the YouTube videos are anything to go by) mostly consist of drinking heavily in the street while your town is invaded by Krampii and laughing hysterically as they jump on your friends and eat them.
Kronos’ Heritage is a must-have for any fans of folk metal, and if you’re not one of the enlightened, you might want to give it a try anyway, because if you don’t, the Krampus will come to your house and flog you with a fistful of chains and razor wire. Unless you like that sort of thing.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Kronos’ Heritage and the band’s previous EP, Shadows Of Our Time, are available via Krampus’ online store. You can find our more about the band at their official web site or at Facebook. Here’s the EP’s title track:
[audio:https://www.nocleansinging.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/01-Kronos-Heritage.mp3|titles=Krampus – Kronos’ Heritage]29 Responses to “KRAMPUS: “KRONOS’ HERITAGE””
Leave a Reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
ANTOINE DODSON REFERENCE + FOLK MYTHOLOGY = PHRO SPLOOGE!!!!
Also, that song is just…this is multi-culturalism as it’s absolute awesomest. I didn’t even mind the clean singing. It worked in the song. Really fucking well.
I was under the impression that Krampus was something that happend to Phro during “that time of the month”?
MENSTRUAL KRAMPUS
Naw, you’ve got that confused with Tuesday.
Does that mean you turn into the demon looking anti-Santa with tenticle dildo’s for horns? Cause that would be awesome. Then you could literally scream “hide yo wife, hide yo kids, I is rapin errybody up in here.”
Dodson Refrence+ Folk Mythology=Real Life Phro splooge opportunity.
Hah! I wish. No, I just poop tentacles out my butt. They wiggle, so it tickles when I poop.
Now that another comment section has been derailed, as Phro stated so eloquently, the music is very good. I am currently listening to some of their stuff on youtube, and it sounds like something to look into more seriously.
On the bright side, this time it was your fault.
Indeed. I take full credit/responsibility/blame.
And I should have mentioned that the review kicked ass too. I submit that you and Phro should become full-time contributors and kick the Lorises out of the NCS mansion. While the Lorises are cute and furry, it should be noted that the two of you provide far, far more entertainment than the cute and cuddly primates have done.
I don’t think either of us know how to actually make the interwebs work though.
The lorises, while not particularly fast, DO keep the tubes greased and running…
That last sentence, with the imagery that you have conjured in the past, is somewhat disturbing.
😀
We try and we try and sometimes, if we’re very lucky, we succeed.
Maybe if you let the lorises rub some lotion on your back with their bellies you’ll catch some of their greasing skills.
I wonder…
But, you know, I never learned any skills by rubbing grease on mechanics with my belly…….
Maybe I did it wrong?
NO! You must be the rubbed not the rubber to catch skills! And it must be belly to back rubbing!
God damnit.
I clearly was lied to.
LIARS AND THE DIRTY LIES TOLD BY THEM WHILE THEIR PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!!
Herp-a-derp.
Icky
I hope you’re all happy. The lorises saw these comments before I could hide them, and now they’re sulking and refusing to give me my daily lube job. Now I’m going to have to double-up on their grub snack later today.
Hey! I showed them love!
Oh….right…oops…
Anyway, check your emails.
Yeah! Not Phro’s fault!
Oh god. You changed your ikon again.
I think I’m starting to get close to critical mass…
Soon…soon, my minions, and then the world…WILL BE BATHED IN THE BLOOD OF A MILLION SCREAMING VIRGIN FANBOYS!!! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
(And probably a fair bit of their pent up “stuff”.)
CreamOfSomeYoungGuy?
Wow..thats really good. Defintely going to track these down
And and and….. they have a BANDCAMP!!?!! http://krampus.bandcamp.com/
Not that I care a lot about BANDCAMPS!!?!!
Cheers.
Thanks for that! Bandcamp ftw.
These guys require lots of support, because they need clothes.
Support them by buying the album at their Bandcamp, at 2.50 euro it’s a steal.
I also added them to the blog (http://metalbandcamp.com/2011/10/krampus-kronos-heritage.html)