Jun 062017


You would be forgiven if you’ve already got the wrong idea in your head about this song we’re about to premiere. I’ve already forgiven myself after I got faked out. I mean, look at the evidence:

The band is named Party Cannon, sometimes spelled PaRtY-CaNnOn. Their logo looks like something you might find on a child’s lunch box. The name of the song we’re premiering is “Keg Crusher“. And it comes from an EP named Perverse Party Platter (which will be released on July 7th by Gore House Productions). Also, the band refer to their music as “Party Slam“. Plus, there’s this comment by the band’s bassist Chris Ryan:

“While some bands in our genre take a more ‘mature’ route in later releases, we have definitely not.”

On the strength of such evidence, one might deduce that these Scots are a big joke, even before seeing this photo:



Well, the joke’s on us, because although Party Cannon clearly don’t take themselves too seriously (or very seriously at all), “Keg Crusher” is a seriously ruinous piece of mayhem, a blast of death/grind and slam that’s hard and heavy enough to cause blunt force trauma and viciously destructive enough to leave the rooms in your mind lying in a smoking rubble. I mean, sure, it’s a lot of fun, too, but the kind of fun cats have playing with mice before biting down on their skulls and devouring their brains. Again from Chris Ryan:

“‘Keg Crusher‘ is our attempt at combining Putridity worship with some Exhumed style grind. Fast blasts, chunky riffs and ultra-gutturals rounded off with some big, dirty, efukt style slams. This track may cause advanced haemorrhaging and glandular fever. The lyrics are about a shark that works a minimum wage job delivering beer to people’s houses.”

You’ll find out — those Putridity and Exhumed references are spot-on. No joke.


To repeat, Perverse Party Platter is set for release July 7, 2017, on Gore House Productions and will be available digitally and in various physical formats. Here’s the tasteful track list:

1. Everyone Is Still Dead To Me
2. Soft, White, Gelatinous Body
3. Fornicating In Ethically Sourced Fair Trade Chocolate
4. Keg Crusher
5. Partypocalypse


Party Cannon Links:

Stony ‘Stony’ Stony – Vocals
Craig ‘Shreddy Kreuger’ Robinson – Guitars
Mike ‘Exceptional Body Hair’ McLaughlin – Guitars
Chris ‘This Is Shit’ Ryan – Bass
Martin ‘Count Blastula’ Gazur – Drums

And with that, enjoy “Keg Crusher“, and as an added bonus, we’re also including a stream of the previously released tender ballad named “Soft, White, Gelatinous Body“.




  1. I’m not really a slam fan but damn these guys put on an entertaining show.

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