May 142012

I have never seen my abs.  I will never see my abs.  It’s just not in the cards, despite the fact that I’m pretty close to the weight I’m supposed to have for my height.  Even when I was at my trimmest, most athletically fit, I couldn’t see them . . . and those days are far back in the rear-view mirror.

Angela Gossow, on the other hand, has abs. Having seen this photo taken at Arch Enemy’s Wages Of Sin Anniversary show in Tokyo on April 14, 2012, I don’t know why she ever wears shirts and tops that drop below her upper ribcage. Man, when you got it, flaunt it.

Look at her fucking arms, too! I know that with Arch Enemy as big as they are, she travels in better style than 99% of all metal bands, but still: Where does she find the time to work out this intensely, and how does she avoid all the alcohol and shit food that comes with touring?  Oh, wait.  I know.  You don’t have to fucking tell me.  It’s called self-discipline.  A concept I’ve read about, but one that’s totally academic to me.

I’m sorry, but as awe-inspiring as Angela looks in this photo, it fucking depresses me on another level. By coincidence, about 5 minutes after I saw this photo, I heard a song that kind of sums things up. It’s called “Visions Of A Shit Life”, which is kinda what I see when I catch myself naked in a mirror. It’s by a Denver grindcore band called Death of Self (yeah, that’s a fucken appropriate name, too), which features the vocalist/guitarist (Ethan) from Clinging To the Trees Of A Forest Fire. It has the benefit of being a goddamned kickass song, too.

Actually, the album as a whole — Mental Disintegration — is damned strong. Death of Self have another, previous release called No Relief. Both albums are streaming on Bandcamp here. Death of Self have an online store here, and a Facebook page at this location.

Listen to Death of Self while I continue searching the dough around my waist for evidence of an ab. (If anyone knows, how do you get to see an ab? I do some sit-ups once a week, except when I don’t feel like it, but that’s apparently not enough.)

  13 Responses to “ABS (and DEATH OF SELF)”

  1. DAMN!!! shit angela looks good!!!! she has to be very discipline due to all the shit surrounding a band on tour

  2. This band is rather interesting. They remind me of Wormrot because they can play short memorable songs (well, they aren’t memorable right off the bat, but what do you want, it’s grindcore).

    I’ve started working out. I’m tired of having sticks for arms and a broom handle for a torso. I want muscular sticks for arms and a muscular broom handle torso. I’ve mostly been working on my arms and abs. Once I get that stupid weight bench together I’ll be able to do a lot of other stuff too.

  3. I’ve also started working out, and being on a diet. It BLOWS. I should have listened to absolutely everyone, during my early 20s, who told me I should start being fit now so that later this tire around my waist wouldnt balloon up so intensely. the TLD fit club thing actually harassed me into trying to get back into shape. Worth checking out, plus also a fun metal blog. And also, yea grindcore. Good workout music, though I prefer ignorant slam right now.

    • TLD fit club? Is that the app where you put money down for a certain amount of workouts and/or a certain amount of time working out in order to keep the money you put down?

      • Ha, no, it’s just some dudes at The Living Doorway blog (link at the right) trying to not be fat. But what you said is a good strategy.

  4. NCS posting mastabatory material now. Well done 🙂

  5. Angela what? Who gives a shit, this music is the cat’s feral yodeling outside my window at night.

 Leave a Reply

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>



This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.