Today is Labor Day in the United States. Contrary to what someone might think based on the name of the holiday (which originally was intended as an homage to the labor movement in this country), it is not a day for laboring. It is a day for fucking off. It is not a day for serious thoughts. It is a day for getting tanked up and banging yo head.
With this in mind, we’ve selected a few items to put you in the right mood for a day of fucking off. For those readers in other nations who are unable to fuck off today, or those in the U.S. who are compelled to do something labor-like and serious despite what they might wish, we are really fucking sorry to do this to you. Perhaps you could bookmark this page and come back when you’re in a situation more conducive to fucking off.
And the idea of fucking off has inspired us to inscribe on this site, in this post which almost no one will read, because most of our readers are fucking off today, our lessons for how to lead a happy, successful, and fulfilled life. It requires this:
(1) That, when you need to, you can be serious, focused, and wise in your decisions;
(2) That you are not serious, focused, or wise any more than is absolutely necessary, and that the rest of the time you are free, impulsive, even borderline insane, and constantly expecting that good things will come your way, even when all the evidence points in the other direction; and
(3) That you are the beneficiary of pure dumb luck.
The only problem with this formula is that although (1) and (2) are within your control, number (3) is not. Striking the right balance between (1) and (2) is hard enough, and because of (3), you could still go through life as a human toilet brush. But you still need to focus on (1) and (2), because if you fuck up that balance, all the number (3) in the world won’t save you.
Today, we’re just paying attention to number (2), because it’s Labor Day. And so, after the jump, we have a couple of things to help you get in the right fucking-off mood.