Sep 062010

Today is Labor Day in the United States. Contrary to what someone might think based on the name of the holiday (which originally was intended as an homage to the labor movement in this country), it is not a day for laboring. It is a day for fucking off. It is not a day for serious thoughts. It is a day for getting tanked up and banging yo head.

With this in mind, we’ve selected a few items to put you in the right mood for a day of fucking off. For those readers in other nations who are unable to fuck off today, or those in the U.S. who are compelled to do something labor-like and serious despite what they might wish, we are really fucking sorry to do this to you. Perhaps you could bookmark this page and come back when you’re in a situation more conducive to fucking off.

And the idea of fucking off has inspired us to inscribe on this site, in this post which almost no one will read, because most of our readers are fucking off today, our lessons for how to lead a happy, successful, and fulfilled life. It requires this:

(1) That, when you need to, you can be serious, focused, and wise in your decisions;

(2) That you are not serious, focused, or wise any more than is absolutely necessary, and that the rest of the time you are free, impulsive, even borderline insane, and constantly expecting that good things will come your way, even when all the evidence points in the other direction; and

(3) That you are the beneficiary of pure dumb luck.

The only problem with this formula is that although (1) and (2) are within your control, number (3) is not. Striking the right balance between (1) and (2) is hard enough, and because of (3), you could still go through life as a human toilet brush. But you still need to focus on (1) and (2), because if you fuck up that balance, all the number (3) in the world won’t save you.

Today, we’re just paying attention to number (2), because it’s Labor Day. And so, after the jump, we have a couple of things to help you get in the right fucking-off mood. Continue reading »

Dec 292009

What do pop star Ke$ha, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, and Cambridge police Sgt. James Crowley have in common? Is it that they all like cock rock? Ke$ha says she does. Maybe the others do too. But I wouldn’t put money on it. No, what they have in common is they’ve all provided us with “teachable moments” this year.

As for Gates and Crowley, they got to know each other on July 16, when Crowley came to Gates’ home after police received a neighbor’s report about a possible burglary at that address. Crowley claimed Gates became abusive and arrested him.

In an effort to cool off the dispute between them, which had ignited into a headline-grabbing national debate about race relations, President Obama invited Gates and Crowley to have a beer with him on the White House lawn. The White House billed the chatfest as a “teachable moment.”  After the beer summit, Crowley said he and Gates had agreed to disagree.

I don’t know about you, but the lesson I learned from that “teachable moment” was this: don’t say anything about a cop’s mama to his face.

Actually, I’m pretty sure I already knew that, but hey, it never hurts to be reminded.

In the case of Ke$sha (and I really don’t want a case of Ke$sha), her ridiculously popular song “Tik Tok” has recently prompted an electronic discussion among Elise at Reign in Blonde, me, and some articulate people who’ve been posting comments at RIB, about that “us against the world” attitude that infuses metal bands and metal fandom and causes some of us to look down on pop music (or even more broadly, all non-metal music) as shallow and inferior.  I think it’s a discussion worth continuing.  (more after the jump) Continue reading »

Dec 292009

Courtesy of Blabbermouth, the flyer above and the story below.  Made me laugh.  Figured you might could use a laugh too.

Reunited Australian “grindy thrash” band GUANTANAMO BAY CITY ROLLERS returned to Adelaide’s Enigma Bar on December 19, 2009 for the first time since supporting INSECT WARFARE there on February 22, 2008. The group’s lineup was the same as it was for the 2008 concert:

Chappy (vocals)
Cheese (guitar)
Jonny (drums)
Mikey (guitar)
Gardy (bass)

A fun time was had by all, with a crazy moshpit, tequila shared around the crowd, and Chappy wearing nothing more than a novelty crocodile head G-string for most of the show, all in celebration of Cheese‘s 30th birthday.

I like these dudes already. I’ve always felt there should be more crocodile-head G-strings in live metal, and how can you go wrong with a band fronted by guys named Chappy and Cheese? And wouldn’t it be cool to mosh with a kangaroo?

The band is streaming some songs from their debut album Alcoholocaust on their MySpace page. There’s a really nasty photo embedded in the music player on that page, but if you can get past it, the tunage is actually a pretty damn good mix of grind, punk, thrash, and power violence. I also found 3 more tracks that aren’t on MySpace and appear to post-date Alcoholocaust. Check ’em out below. If you’re not drunk already, they’ll make you wanna get that way. (Aptly descriptive track titles too.)

In One Ear Out the Asshole

Fuck Me Two Times

I Want To Be Anthony Callea

And who, you non-Aussies may ask, is Anthony Callea? Go here and then you’ll know.