WE BLOW THE COVER OFF PHRO’S SECRET LIFE! LOUTALLICA, BABY!

 IQ Subtraction  16 Responses »
Oct 212011
 

You may think that NCS contributor Phro is an American ex-pat living in Japan and splitting his time between teaching English to Japanese and presiding over a vast tentacle-porn industry, but that’s all just a cover. And we’re tired of covering for him. Time to out Phro. Time to reveal THE TRUTH: Phro is a lyricist for Lou Reed and Metallica.

You doubt THE TRUTH? Well, who else could have penned these immortal lyrics from “Pumping Blood” by the infernal collaboration of Lou Reed and Metallica:

“Tied up in leather
Would you take the measure
Of the blood that I pump”

“If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute
Would you think less of me”

“I will swallow your sharpest cutter
Like a colored man’s dick”

To see all of Phro’s moving lyrics to this tender ode, go past the jump. (If only the music were as good as the words. Actually, to be brutally honest, I know nothing about the music to this song. I would rather have a colonoscopy without anesthesia or shove hot needles up my nose than listen to this song.) Continue reading »

MORE 2011 SICKNESS (PART 10)

 Forthcoming Albums  40 Responses »
Oct 012011
 

September is behind us. Here in Seattle, it was such a beautiful month that it seemed like nature’s compensation for how late the summer started. Unfortunately, with September’s end, we’re on a short track to the onset of winter, which means about six months of short, cold, grey, ceaselessly wet days. Ain’t that just fuckin’ great?

Well, bitchin’ about the winter ahead won’t change one fucking thing. I prefer to think instead about the deluge of new metal that’s headed our way and try (momentarily) to forget about the deluge of rain on the horizon. Which brings us to the latest monthly edition of METAL IN THE FORGE.

You know the drill:  In these posts, we collect news blurbs and press releases we’ve seen over the last month about forthcoming new albums from bands we know and like (including occasional updates about releases we’ve included in previous installments of this series), or from bands that look interesting, even though we don’t know their music yet. In this series, we cut and paste those announcements and compile them in alphabetical order.

Remember — this isn’t a cumulative list. If we found out about a new album before August, we wrote about it in previous installments of this series. So, be sure to check the Category link called “Forthcoming Albums” on the right side of this page to see forecasted releases we reported earlier. This month’s list begins right after the jump. Look for your favorite bands, or get intrigued about some new ones. As usual, also feel free to tell us about how we fucked up by omitting releases that you’re stoked about. Continue reading »

TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE?

 Metal News  5 Responses »
Jun 162011
 

Blabbermouth reported this news this morning:

Metallica’s official web site has been updated with the following message:

“A few months ago our own Kirk Hammett hinted at a new Metallica project that’s ‘not really 100 percent a Metallica record.’ While Kirk may have jumped the gun a little (and has since been properly punished with a series of push-ups!), we are more than proud to announce that we have just completed recording a full-length album that is a collaboration with none other than the legendary Lou Reed.

“Ever since we had the pleasure of performing with Lou at the 25th anniversary of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame at Madison Square Garden in October of 2009, we have been kicking around the idea of making a record together. Some of you astute Bay Area residents may have picked up news of recent Lou Reed sightings in the greater San Francisco area and we have indeed been working at our home studio at [Metallica headquarters in San Rafael, California] on and off over the last few months. In what would be lightning speed for a Metallica-related project, we recorded ten songs during this time and while at this moment we’re not exactly sure when you’ll hear it, we’re beyond excited to share with you that the recording sessions wrapped up last week.”

I’d say this does qualify as news worth reporting. Even though my interest in Metallica has waned significantly in recent years, it’s still Metallica, which means I’ll listen to whatever they release, even though I’ll be holding my breath in anticipation of possible pain. And even though Lou Reed is now about 100 years old, it’s still fucking Lou Reed. First with Velvet Underground and then in his solo releases (and especially Transformer), he broke so much new ground that the word “legendary” isn’t an overstatement.

I’m having real trouble imagining what will result from this collaboration. I doubt it will be metal. I doubt it will be wild. It may be interesting, it may be good, it probably will be awful, but I have to admit I’m intrigued. (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »