Mar 082013

Hi. This is Day 12 of me being away from home and working like an indentured servant on my fucking day-and-night job. I know there’s been tremendous curiosity about what I am doing. I’m not at liberty to disclose where I am, but I thought I’d share a few details about the nature of the project.

As some of you have guessed, it does indeed involve super-science. My colleagues and I are testing methods for grafting additional penises onto parts of the male anatomy where penises are not usually found. There’s a gamers convention in town, so we’ve had no trouble finding willing test subjects.

We’ve had more trouble finding willing penis donors, so we’ve just been taking them without consent. Because there’s a gamers convention in town, we’ve had no trouble finding people who aren’t actually using their penises, so no harm done. That’s all I can tell you at the moment.

As you know, the demands of the project have almost entirely prevented me from listening to metal or writing about it for almost two weeks. However, the work schedule for today and tomorrow isn’t quite as awful as it has been, so I have a brief window of opportunity to come up for air and see what I’ve been missing. Here’s a small selection of items I found this morning. Continue reading »

Aug 152012

Here we have yet another random assortment of things I saw and heard today that I thought merited some attention. And the bands are: Winterfylleth (UK), Goat the Head (Norway), One Inch Giant (Sweden), and Mass Hypnosis (Croatia).


I saw that another new song from Winterfylleth’s next album, The Threnody of Triumph, has started streaming. As previously reported here, the album is due for release on September 25 via Candlelight. The new song is “The Svart Raven”, and it’s streaming at Stereogum. I won’t blather on about the song; I’m saving my blathering for a review. For now, I’ll say only that the song is excellent and that you should hear it without fail if you have any interest in black metal. Go here to do that.


I saw the image at the top of this post appear on the Facebook page of our favorite contemporary primal cavemen death metallists, Goat the Head. This looks suspiciously like cover art for some new collection of contemporary primal caveman death metal. My suspicions were further aroused by this accompanying statement by the Goats: “Exposing evident symptoms of imminent deathrash”.

I must say that I find this highly encouraging. It has been FAR too long since we’ve received new original material from this band, who we have written about a multitude of times in the past (collected here). They are, after all, the band who introduced us to the dreaded Cube, the mere mention of which gives me the nervous shakes. Although the Goatsters haven’t released new material in a while, earlier this summer they did record a cover of “Burner” by Motörhead, which I somehow overlooked. It rocks. It’s right after the jump. Continue reading »

May 112012

True story:  I tried to roller skate once.  It didn’t end well.  I kind of careened all over the place, totally out of control, veering in one direction and then another.  Eventually I came to rest — on my ass, with a severely sprained ankle.  It was a hell of an adrenaline rush, followed by a fuckton of pain.

The point of this post is to throw some music your way to help you skid into the weekend ahead, to get some adrenaline pumping, and to bring the pain.


We know Joel Grind can thrash. He’s the driving force behind Portland’s one-man wrecking machine, Toxic Holocaust, a “band” that quite effectively churns out a holocaust of punk/thrash mayhem. Now we can hear a slightly different side of Mr. Grind.

He has a one-man side project called Yellowgoat and has finished recording a 9-track album under that name. Yesterday he put up on the Tube of You an 8-minute preview of the album, with excerpts from the songs. Based on those previews, I’d describe the music as a nasty, fuzzed-out fusion of black thrash, d-beat, and punk — a throwback to the early days of black metal. It makes sense that he picked a name that pretty obviously came from the cover of Bathory’s first album.

The music is vicious, raw, and thoroughly energizing. So get this skate show on the road by rockin’ out to the Yellowgoat album preview right after the jump, and after that you’ll see some of Joel’s comments about this project. Continue reading »

Sep 212011

About a month ago we featured some brutal death metal crafted for the purpose of putting you in the right frame of mind for pumping iron in the gym and destroying emo posers at the same time. The name of the project was One Handed Skull Crushing. It was a side project of three musicians in Sweden, though at the time we didn’t divulge their main projects.

It’s now time to do that, at least for one of them. The more serious musical endeavor of bass player Axel Berglund is a Gothenburg band called One Inch Giant, and that band has just self-released their debut album, Malva. The musical style is dramatically different from that of OHSC, and although it may not appeal to all fans of the skull-crushers’ music, I’m been having lots of fun listening to it. As you can see, the album art is also wonderful. It’s by an artist named Emma Ekstam, and it depicts the small realm of Malva, in which all the phenomena described in the lyrics take place. To see more of Ms. Ekstam’s eye candy, go here.

I suppose the music of One Inch Giant is best described as stoner metal, though within that general genre description the six songs on Malva display considerable variety, and you don’t need unusual bladder control to get through them. All the singing is clean and all the songs are distinctively melodic. In fact, some of you might classify some of the songs as bluesy rock instead of metal, though all of them have got a satisfying element of heaviness in company with all the melodic hooks, and some are just flat-out heavy as fuck. (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »