(written by Islander)
I’m going to a memorial service today for a friend who died of brain cancer. First time I’ve been in a church since the last church funeral I attended, which was pre-covid. During covid I attended two memorial services via zoom, one for my best friend, the other for my most important mentor, both of them killed by the same disease that then kept their friends and family from remembering them in a shared physical space.
The arc of life being what it is, the longer you survive, the more chances you’ll have to show up for those who succumbed before you have. I really don’t want to go to today’s service, or any of them. Who does? But at some point in the distant past I learned from what other people did when I lost family members I loved: I learned the importance to the survivors of showing up, of being present, even if you don’t utter a word. Most of the words you might utter would sound so clichéd anyway that they’d risk coming off as phony even if they aren’t.
I make this dreary report only to explain why I’m late in posting this Saturday roundup and why it’s shorter than I wish it were. My head has been clouded by sorrow and dread since waking up, remembering the last times I sat with my friend when he could no longer speak and now daunted by the prospect of what’s coming later today. All that slowed me way down, though the music I did manage to investigate blew away those clouds, even if only temporarily, and even if sometimes they replaced them with other clouds. Continue reading »
