All sorts of things are metal, even though they don’t involve music. That’s what this series is about. Things can be metal for many different reasons. In general, people, places, things, and occurrences are metal because they’re awe-inspiring. But not everything that’s awe-inspiring is metal. Natural wonders, architectural marvels, and great works of art can be awe-inspiring in their beauty, but you wouldn’t call all of them “metal”, or at least I wouldn’t. An element of brutality will help something qualify for the term, as will an element of “otherness” — something that’s unconventional, something that’s rare and maybe even weird and unexpected, or something that appeals to the anarchic impulse in most metalheads.
Having said that, I also find myself applying the term “metal” to things that are just off-the-hook ridiculous or bizarre. Maybe that’s just me. To be clear, I don’t think everything that’s ridiculous is metal. Donald Trump is ridiculous, and bizarre. So is Dancing With the Stars. But they are definitely not metal.
I think it helps if ridiculous behavior is self-destructive. Like what happened to the dude’s hand pictured over to the right, which we featured in a previous installment of this series. I thought this was pretty fucking metal. I thought the same thing about the dog who chewed off his master’s gangrenous toe while the guy was passed out in an alcoholic stupor (here).
Anyway, most of today’s offerings fall into the “ridiculous” category of non-musical metal. I’ll just leave it at that. See for yourself after the jump. Continue reading »









