EMETIC EFFECT

 IQ Subtraction  No Responses »
Jan 052010
 

The dictionary defines “emetic” as an agent that induces vomiting. The following report on Blabbermouth this morning certainly triggered our gag reflex:

“POISON vocalist Bret Michaels and Ozzy Osbourne‘s wife/manager Sharon Osbourne will be featured in the new season of Donald Trump‘s“The Celebrity Apprentice”, which is scheduled to premiere on Sunday, March 14 at 9:00 p.m. EST with a special two-hour episode on NBC.

The official cast of Season 3 of “The Celebrity Apprentice” is as follows:

* Comedian/writer Carol Leifer
* Comedian/actor Sinbad
* WWE wrestler Maria Kanellis
* Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich
* Ozzy Osbourne‘s wife/manager Sharon Osbourne
* Track and field Olympian Michael Johnson
* Chef Curtis Stone
* Pop icon Cyndi Lauper
* WWE heavyweight Bill Goldberg
* Baseball star Darryl Strawberry
* POISON vocalist Bret Michaels
* Lingerie model Selita Ebanks
* Swimmer Summer Sanders
* Actress/author Holly Robinson Peete

Michaels was seen selling hamburgers to passers-by for $100 or more a piece on October 19, 2009 at 9 E. 53rd St. in New York City as part of his appearance on “The Celebrity Apprentice”. . . .

The celebrities . . . are subjected to long hours, grueling mental challenges, personality clashes and intense scrutiny — all without the help of their regular support system of agents, managers and personal assistants.”

Gimme a fuckin’ break. If we tried, we’d have a hard time coming up with a more bizarre collection of damaged goods. Bret Michaels?! Sharon Osborne?!  Darryl Strawberry?! Dirtbag deluxe Rod Blagojevich??!! All of them narcissistic pros at self-humiliation and embarrassment.  We wouldn’t watch this trash at gunpoint. Please tell us you won’t either.

I have to take a break now to wipe the spew off my keyboard.

LIVING SACRIFICE UPDATE (No. 5)

 Metal News  No Responses »
Jan 052010
 

In December, the resurgent death/thrash brawlers from Living Sacrifice uploaded two new songs from their forthcoming album The Infinite Order, plus a video of one of those songs.  Yesterday, they graced us with a third  new one, called “Organized Lie.”  It’s another galloping beast of angry, groove-oriented metal that confirms the new album will be worth the long wait since the band’s last full-length of all-new songs more than seven years ago.  You can check it out here.

And there’s more headbangery ahead: the band promises yet another new song next Monday.

The Infinite Order will hit the streets on January 26, and LS will hit the road on January 15 with War of Ages, Shai Hulud, Lionheart, and The Great Commission.

“THAT’S METAL” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC

 Mosh Pit, That's Metal -- But It's Not Music  1 Response »
Jan 042010
 

We metalheads call things “metal” even when what we’re talking about isn’t music.  Most of the time, it’s meant as a compliment (the ultimate compliment).  Sometimes it’s just a description. In either case, I don’t think I could come up with a definition of what “metal” means when it’s used this way.  It’s kind of like what Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously said about porn in Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964):

I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [“hard-core pornography”]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it . . . .

Yesterday, while wasting my fucking time expanding my mind on the Internet, I came across one non-musical thing after another that made me think, “that’s metal” — from a cool New Zealand metal site, to abandoned buildings in Detroit, to rugby, to hakas, to Nelson Mandela, to poetry. Allow me to share (after the jump). Continue reading »

OVERLOOKED

 Listmania, Metal News  2 Responses »
Jan 032010
 

I knew this would happen.  On New Year’s Day, we put up a long list of extreme metal bands who reportedly will be releasing new albums in 2009, and then carved from that list the 21 bands we especially want to hear in the New Year.  We tried to be complete in compiling the master list, but of course we’re already hearing about bands we left off.

So far, three overlooked bands, in particular, deserve mention: Kivimetsän Druidi, Portland’s own Agalloch, and Mors Principium Est. These bands may not be as widely known as others that made “forthcoming” lists in various trade publications, but we’re psyched to hear that new releases are in the works.

KIVIMETSÄN DRUIDI

Kivimetsän Druidi (pictured above) is a Finnish symphonic folk metal band whose name appears to mean “druid of the stone forest.”  The band released their Century Media debut CD “Shadowheart” in late 2008 and followed that with a cool video, shot in Finnish Lappland, for a song sung in Finnish called “Jäässä Varttunut.”  It appears the song title, loosely translated, means “Grown Up Within Ice,” as in, “The white steel that has been grown on ice will clot the blood with its strike.”

I saw the video, was impressed, tracked down the CD, and remained impressed. It’s a fast-paced, dramatic combination of symphonic death metal, celtic folk stylings, savage gutteral vocals from Joni Koskinen, and soaring sopranos from crystal-voiced Leeni-Maria Hovila. Heavier than you might expect, with memorable melodies and plenty of hard-driving riffs.  (more after the jump, including that video. . .) Continue reading »

THE MOST INFECTIOUS EXTREME METAL SONGS OF 2009 (Part 11)

 Album Reviews, Listmania  No Responses »
Jan 022010
 

About a week ago we finished posting our list of the Ten Most Infectious Extreme Metal Songs of 2009. Finishing the list turned out to be a bit of a struggle because your NCS Co-Authors had more favorites than we had open slots on the list.  And each of us had some infectious favorites on our short lists that didn’t survive the final negotiations among us — but they just missed by a nose. So we’re going to roll out those songs now. It’s the next best thing to just reneging on our commitment to make our list a “Top Ten” and instead renaming it the “Top Fourteen.”

LAMB OF GOD:  In Your Words

Lamb of God enjoys such a hallowed place in the pantheon of extreme metal that thousands wait with bated breath for each new release — and then, when it comes, promptly engage in vociferous debate about whether it compares favorably or not to the monster hits of the band’s past.  Wrath was LOG’s first release in over two years, and predictably generated a war of words about whether LOG had lived up to its fans’ stratospheric expectations, and about what it signified about the band’s future trajectory.

We won’t engage in comparisons of the album to LOG’s ground-breaking work of the past: Considered on its own merits, it’s a well-engineered, riff-filled barrage of headbangery by some brilliant song-writers and musicians.

“Infectious” is Lamb of God’s middle name, but our most infectious favorite from Wrath is the first song that appears on the album after the (very cool) instrumental intro.  “In Your Words” launches with an insistent, immediately headbangable riff, followed by an extended scream from the almighty Randy Blythe (whose versatile vocals throughout the album are superb) and a crushing drum attack – and we’re off to the races.  At about  the 2:30 mark, the song defuses into a pounding breakdown and then culminates in an extended cascading wall of pulsing, groovy, tremolo-picked melody.  So damn cool!  See for yourself and then continue reading after the jump for our last three finalists:

Lamb of God: In Your Words Continue reading »

SOUNDGARDEN?!

 Metal News  No Responses »
Jan 012010
 

We had planned to post our list of the 21 albums we most want to hear in 2010 and then go back to sleeping it off for the rest of the day.  But we saw a blurb on Blabbermouth that brought us up short.  Here’s the blurb:

Singer Chris Cornell‘s (SOUNDGARDEN, AUDIOSLAVE) official web sitehas been updated with the following message:

“The 12-year break is over and school is back in session. Sign up now. Knights of the Soundtable ride again!”

To sign up, go to www.soundgardenworld.com.

That’s really all there is.  If you go to the Soundgarden site and register, all you get is a Soundgarden video to watch. But Chris Cornell‘s message on his site sure sounds like a reunion is going to happen, and as a Seattle-based site, we gotta take notice.  Reunion rumors have been roiling the netz off and on this year, but Cornell has been denying that it would happen.  Something has obviously changed.

We’ve seen lots of reunions this year, and mostly they just make me wanna yawn. But these dudes were among the pioneers of music that put Seattle on the metal map in the early 90s and influenced the trajectory of heavy music for years to come.  Don’t know if this reunion will just be for a tour or might actually result in a new album.  And even if it produces new music, who knows if it’ll sound like latter-day Chris Cornell or something like a next evolutionary step for the old Soundgarden (which would be way more cool).  But are we interested in finding out?  Absofuckinlutely.

THE TWENTY-ONE 2010 ALBUMS WE MOST WANT TO HEAR

 Forthcoming Albums, Listmania, Metal News  8 Responses »
Jan 012010
 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW DECADE, AND A BRAVE NEW WORLD AWAITS!

So, why did you get so hammered last night? Is it really right to start off a new decade sleeping off a bender?  Well, I ain’t your mama, so my answer is:  Of course it is.

If you’re like me, today may not be the best day to pound your head with metal — unless of course you haven’t gone to sleep yet, in which case metal is exactly what you need. Because if you go to sleep now, that means you’ll wake up feeling like toad shit.  So, as your doctor, I advise you to listen to metal and don’t go to sleep.  Ever.  Be like that dude played by Christian Bale in The Machinist.  Except eat more.

Now, where was I?  Oh yeah, the new year.  As we gaze into the bright new future, we’re thinking about all the extreme music that’ll be coming our way in 2010.  We pulled together from various trade sources and internet prowling a list of extreme bands that have promised new releases in 2010, and then over the Christmas holiday your three NCS Co-Authors each picked the ones we’re most looking forward to hearing.

There were 21 bands that got at least 2 votes from the 3 of us, and that list is below.  Not that we think you really care deeply about what the three of us are stoked to hear, but our brains are too fogged today to do anything but post lists.  So here’s our list, and after the jump you can see the complete line-up we compiled of extreme bands who’ve promised new releases in 2010.  (If you know of bands we missed, let us know!)

A Life Once Lost
The Absence
Acacia Strain
All Shall Perish
Arsis
Carnifex
Dark Tranquillity
Decrepit Birth
Devin Townsend Project
Ion Dissonance
Living Sacrifice
Meshuggah
Necrophagist
Nervecell
Neuraxis
Rotting Christ
Soilwork
Through the Eyes of the Dead
Veil of Maya
Whitechapel
Wintersun

There’s one band that isn’t on this list that deserves special comment — PIG DESTROYER. They’re missing for only one reason: Although there have been widely circulated rumors (which seem to trace back to this report) that Pig Destroyer will be releasing a new album next fall, we haven’t seen any confirmation from the band or their label. But we definitely hope the reports are true.

And now, after the jump, you can see a complete list of NCS Metal bands that have announced 2010 releases. Continue reading »

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