RICHES FROM BURKINA FASO AWAIT!

 IQ Subtraction, Off Topic  9 Responses »
Nov 142010
 

Yes, I am not here. Yes, I am on vacation. Yes, I wrote this post before I left. Yes, I scheduled this to appear while I am gone. It is not time-sensitive, because all these people from Nigeria, and Ghana, and Mali, and Burkina Faso are big on talk and short on action. I’m now to the point that I don’t expect an answer to my messages. I don’t even know why I bother writing back to them at all.

The last chapter in my search for riches beyond the dreams of avarice has petered out. For those of you who haven’t been keeping score, that chapter was MALIAN RICHES AWAIT!. Ecobank and The Bank of Africa (Burkina Faso branch) never wrote back. Also, despite the fact that I offered them a very easy way to send me my money via PayPal, that didn’t happen.

I may have made a tactical error in threatening to sic Interpol on their ass for extortion when I wrote them. I think I need to do a better job controlling my temper. I just didn’t realize how sensitive bankers can be. I thought all bankers were a bunch of human-sized reptiles with scaly reptile skin and predatory dispositions and antifreeze for blood. Maybe the ones in Africa are warm-blooded. Maybe their feelings can be hurt after all. I think I need to be more empathetic, more laid back. I need to shine their shoes with my tongue.

Fortunately, just as I was about to shitcan the designs for the Cube Pool, the Lorisarium, and the Grolsch Vortex Fountain and tell the contractors I hired that they would have to chase me down like an animal if they wanted their money, I got a new message from a different bank in Burkina Faso. So I have a chance to put into practice my new tactic of being all sweetness and light.

I’ve always heard that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so I might as well try to drown them in honey. Can’t hurt, right? Putting to one side why you’d want to catch flies in the first place; I’ve never really understood why anyone would want to do that. I’d rather just eat the honey and let the flies go somewhere else.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the latest message from Burkina Faso. That’s after the jump, along with my heart-felt reply . . . Continue reading »

A TEASER: BLOOD OF KINGU

 RANDOM FUCKING MUSIC  2 Responses »
Nov 142010
 

[Just in case we ran short of quality guest contributions to use while I was away, I wrote a few brief pieces before leaving. They’re called “teasers” because they’re just brief tastes of new albums that I’d like to review for NCS when I get back — because they’re really good. Of course, I have the attention span of a gnat, so there’s a chance I’ll never do that, and these teasers will be all I accomplish. So I’m running them even though I don’t need to.]

This is the second teaser. The first one was about The Secret. This one is a taste of the new album by:

The Band: Blood of Kingu

The Band’s Location: The Ukraine

The Album: Sun in the House of the Scorpion

Label: Candlelight

The Band’s MySpace page:  http://www.myspace.com/bloodofkinguband

Brief notes:  This band is the side project of Roman Saenko, the creative force behind Ukrainian cult folk-black metal band Drudkh (as well as Dark Ages), and fellow Drudkh band members Thurios (who also played with Saenko in Hate Forest), Krechet, and Yuriy Sinitskyi.

But this music is a departure from Drudkh. It includes some ethnic drumming and some Tibetan chanting, but apart from those flourishes, this is standing-wave, wall-of-sound black metal that courses through your blood like a superheated injection. Here’s a track:

Blood of Kingu: Those That Wander Amidst the Stars

ON TASTE . . .

 Mosh Pit  19 Responses »
Nov 132010
 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest post is from Timbus, the guitarist, back-up vocalist, and co-founder of NCS favorite, Nekrogoblikon. He has some thoughts about musical taste and what it means to be open-minded . . .]

Sometimes people are just walking piles of bullshit. In fact I bet half the people you see day-to-day are made solely of poop. It’s really horrifying. I wonder if they know? Probably not. They’re all stomping around *splunch* *splunch* “I’m so smart!” *splunch* *splunch*. Their footsteps probably make that noise. That’s how poop walks. Probably. Maybe one day some dude will try to talk to them and quickly determine that the human being they’re interacting with is really just sentient excrement. Then the dude will sit back and go “Ohhhh, I see what the problem is. We disagree because you’re actually just made of poop.” I think that doesn’t happen very often though.

People can bullshit just about anything. You’ll hear stories all the time about how either people bullshit the government or the government bullshits us. Or maybe it’s a job. Or maybe it’s Enron. Or maybe it’s Osama Bin Laden, I don’t fucking know. The entertainment industry is definitely made up 90% of poop. But so are the consumers! So it’s ok!

Have you ever asked anyone “What kind of music do you like?” or “What’s your favorite band?” I’m a musician. Music is such a big part of my life that relating to other people is much easier if I can find common ground musically. So, naturally, I ask those questions of people I meet. Sometimes I get really interesting answers. Sometimes I get a response that’s more like “Oh I just listen to radio” or “I watch MTV” or some other mainstream response. Those are fine! If you’re not really “into” music, and you just listen to whatever’s on your local rock station, that’s totally chill. Hey, I like eating out a lot, but I don’t really care about the particulars of how my food was prepared, just as long as it tastes good. Not everyone is a musician or even a music nerd.  (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »

A TEASER: THE SECRET

 RANDOM FUCKING MUSIC  2 Responses »
Nov 132010
 

Just in case we ran short of quality guest contributions to use while I was away, I wrote a few brief pieces before leaving. They’re called “teasers” because they’re just brief tastes of new albums that I’d like to review for NCS when I get back — because they’re really good. Of course, I have the attention span of a gnat, so there’s a chance I’ll never do that, and these teasers will be all I accomplish.

This is the first one. As I write this, I’m in a hurry to get my ass out of Dodge, so this will be short and sweet.

The Band: The Secret

The Band’s Location: Trieste, Italy

The Album: Solve et Coagula

Label: Southern Lord Recordings

The Band’s MySpace page:  http://www.myspace.com/thesecret

Brief notes:  This music will grind(core) your brain down to a nub and then drag it through a pool of tar. Haven’t heard vocals this hair-raising since the late Makh Daniels (Early Graves). The soundtrack to total loss of control. Here’s a track:

The Secret: Weathermen

P.S. In my half-assed attempt to keep up with what’s happening in the world of metal while on vacation, I saw a feature on MetalSucks about The Secret, which includes another track — and it turns out MetalSucks had done another feature about the band that I missed.  Check it out here if you like this music.

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS DAN’S TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2010

 Listmania  31 Responses »
Nov 122010
 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest post comes to us from Dan, who apparently is now called The Artist Formerly Known As Dan. Dan is an American temporarily transplanted to Adelaide, Australia. He has a list for you.]

So, I realize it’s cliche to make one of these lists (and maybe a bit premature?), but they’re usually useful for several reasons.  Firstly, it allows me to shamelessly plug the bands I like and push my agenda on you.  Secondly, it allows you to post lists of the records I forgot and tell me why my first list was wrong.  I can then subsequently go back to the records I may have forgotten or never owned in the first place.  Everyone should theoretically win here, since there is always music overlooked or forgotten about throughout the year.  So, let’s begin.

10. The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza – Danza III: The Series of Unfortunate Events

Technical, but so brutal.  A perfect recommendation for someone who listens to too much vanilla-breakdown deathcore (and, for some of you, “too much” implies listening to any deathcore at all).  I highly recommend seeing them in concert; they bring tons of energy.  Yippie-Kay-Yay-Motherfucker.

(more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »

METAL IN 2020

 IQ Subtraction  6 Responses »
Nov 112010
 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s guest post is by ElvisShotJFK, one of our most faithful and interesting commentators. And this post, in our humble opinion, is just outright far-sighted. Seriously. Stay with it to the end. And if you’re not familiar with the Cube reference, go here.]

So, a while back, I was on my way to work, as I do several times a week. Nothing unusual about that, but I took a different route, having gone to the store beforehand. As I was walking along, I saw a peculiar sight and crossed the street to get a better look. To my surprise, it was a large cube in someone’s front yard. But it wasn’t any ordinary cube, although cubes on the grass aren’t exactly an everyday sight.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen… it was the Cube.

But why was it there? It had taken out a garden gnome, rather violently in fact. Cubes are good for that. I think the pink flamingos must have called in a hit on the smiling, bearded bastard or something. I took a picture of the grisly scene, but that picture is/was on a dead hard drive from a now dead computer. I wonder if simply having a picture of the Cube caused my computer to go berserk?

Anyway, after taking a few pictures, I suddenly had the urge to reach out and touch the Cube. Common sense should have told me not to do so, but it’s the Cube, for Cube’s sake! I blacked out for a while. When I came to, I found myself in different surroundings, but that wasn’t all. I had been transported ten years into the future.

No, the world doesn’t come to an end at the end of 2012. Sorry. In protest, misanthropic metalheads burned copies of Judas Priest’s Nostradamus because ‘that old, dead French guy got it wrong’. Of course, a lot of other people were upset, except the suicide cults, who weren’t around to be pissed about it.

Peer into the future, after the jump. . . Continue reading »

HASTA LA VISTA

 Uncategorized  5 Responses »
Nov 102010
 

By the time you read this, I’ll be far, far away from the NCS metallic island — but NCS will still be here. Yes, my open invitation for guest blog submissions generated an enthusiastic and heart-warming response. We now have almost enough quality pieces to fill every day of my vacation hiatus — and if a couple more that have been promised come through soon, we’ll be all set.  And if they don’t, I created a couple of goodies before leaving that I can slot in.

What this means is that NCS will not go dark while I’m fucking off in a distant land.We will keep our streak of posts alive — at least one every day since my now-largely-missing-in-action comrades and I started this thing. It makes my eyes moist to think of how valiantly NCS readers stepped up to help out. Our it could be that I’m growing allergic to the lorises.

I think you’ll enjoy what we’ve got scheduled for appearance over the next 11 days. I know I enjoyed reading them. You may enjoy them so much that you’ll petition me to stay on vacation indefinitely. It’s a real mish-mash of topics, from album reviews to Top 10 lists to discoveries of new music to “op-ed” opinion pieces, and more. Of course, the writing styles are different, but I’m pleased to say that many of them use the words “fuck” and “fucking” and one uses the word “poop” — repeatedly. I feel like I’ve been a good role model.

So, without further ado, our first guest post appears right below this one. Thanks to all who contributed. Stay safe until we meet again.

P.S. I’m so fucking glad that Nergal found a bone marrow donor. People stepped up for that dude. You give people a chance, and they’ll step up to just about anything.

P.P.S. If the sketchy internet access where I’m going permits, I do plan to get online once a day while I’m away — at least long enough to read comments and join in the commentary, at least briefly. So add some damned comments to these guest posts, won’t you? Muchas gracias.

WITHOUT ME, WHO WILL KEEP THINGS NORMAL?

 Album Reviews, Phro's Posts  20 Responses »
Nov 102010
 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Here we go — the first of the guest posts we’re running while I’m on vacation. And our first installment comes from our tentacle-loving bro, Phro, now stationed in some Japanese backwater and surviving on a diet of metal, Japanese poetry, and other things we’d rather not know about. He has some music to share with you.]

At first brush, Lizard Skynard might seem like a gimmick.  The name alone is absurd and evokes entirely the wrong image for the band.  After all, you are probably imagining lot lizards putting their frothy mouths on the short nubby ends of truckers right now.  But!!!  Perish that thought (you sicko) and let’s talk about something completely different.

You obviously know how to use internet, so I can assume that, like all internet denizens, you are probably a mentally deranged individual.  I will also assume you know who the Lizardman (http://www.thelizardman.com/) is.  If not, that link right there will enlighten you.  We’ll wait.  Have fun.

Okay, so now you know pretty much everything you need to know before we begin this review of the band’s self-titled debut.  The Lizardman (or Erik Sprague, if you want to be pedestrian) is the frontman for the band.  I would go so far as to say that he is the personality of the band, but we personally haven’t seen any live performances, so we’ll reserve judgement for now.  Needless to say, it is his voice that dominates and informs the songs.  And his voice is, for lack of a better term, the madness of modernity.

Okay, enough literary theory horseshit, let’s talk music!  What does it sound like? (more after the jump . . . including eels) Continue reading »

DETRIMENTUM UPDATE

 RANDOM FUCKING MUSIC  No Responses »
Nov 092010
 

Only a couple weeks ago, we featured news about a new song from one of our favorite UK death metal bands, Detrimentum — which has had their ups and downs but now seems fully on track to produce their first new album (tentatively entitled Inhumanity) since 2008’s Embracing the Deformity. But already, we have more excellent news: Detrimentum has now posted a second new song, called “Pestilence Shared With Worms”.

That new song — clocking in at more than 7 minutes — is just brilliant. It’s plenty brutal, with lots of nasty, unbridled aggression, and raw, bestial vocals. Oh, but there’s much more: huge rhythmic hooks and grooves, riffing that’s technically satisfying and unpredictably morphing, bursts of melodic lead guitar and a gripping — gripping — solo, a phase of tremolo-executed sonic waves, and near the end a a few measures of what sounds like a guitar-picked waltz.

It gallops and hammers and struts and dances. It has the kind of quasi-symphonic feel I get from Fleshgod Apocalpse and Hour of Penance. It’s our kind of modern death metal.  If you follow along with us after the jump, you can hear what we mean . . . Continue reading »

PSY:CODE

 RANDOM FUCKING MUSIC  2 Responses »
Nov 092010
 

The clock is ticking down on my impending temporary disappearance from blogdom. I had ambitious plans for leaving you with an album review, but decided the time would be better spent finishing up the work necessary to get more guest posts ready for publication while I’m gone. So the album review will just have to wait — possibly until the world ends.

But that doesn’t mean we have no music for you today. We do! It started with a recent video from a Danish band called Psy:code, which released a debut album called Delusion this past spring (on a Danish label called Mighty Music). I didn’t know anything about Psy:code before peeping the video, but since then I’ve done a bit of research.

The band has been around since 2002, and in the fall of 2008 it won a contest sponsored by Danish national radio and Live Nation, the prize for which was supporting Slayer at a concert in Copenhagen in November of that year. So after watching the video (which you will eventually see), I visited the band’s MySpace page and listened to a song called “Web of Lies” — a different sound than the video song, and one that was riveting.

So, then, I found a video of the band’s performance at that Slayer concert — and damned if it wasn’t that same “Web of Lies” song — but set to a boisterous live performance. And I thought, this is all too good not to pass on. So, I’m passing it on. All of it. Both videos and the song.  (after the jump, naturally . . .) Continue reading »

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